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Message from an ex
It was DH's birthday last week and he got a message in his inbox on facebook from a girl he dated for a few months in college. It said, "Didn't know if it was appropriate to leave a "Happy Birthday" message on your wall since I'm an ex and all, but happy birthday, platonic friend! ;^) He he he."
I just want to say to her, honestly, I could care less. You dated a few months, DH and I have been together for 5 years and are now, you know, married. You are much less important in our lives than you seem to think you are.
As a side note, this is the same girl that emailed DH after we had been living together for a year and stated she knew the reason DH didn't talk to her anymore was because I had told him not him. DH told her that I didn't care and that honestly, he was busy and just didn't have anything to talk to her about.
I just find this whole thing funny. Why would I care if someone he dated said happy birthday. It's not like she offered to give him a birthday BJ or something!
Re: Message from an ex
Some people are unsure if someone's SO is BSC (I know a lot of jealous ladies who get angry if you post on their man's wall). I'd be more concerned if your H didn't say anything about it. But the girl clearly realizes that he's married and called herself a "platonic" friend. Nothing to be concerned about.
Lucky, on the other hand, I give the side eye to for assuming this girl is starting something
I just find it extremely strange that after 5+ years, she still feels the need to say "platonic friend" and identifies herself as an ex. It's like she's still trying to process the fact that they once dated but are not dating anymore.
I am friends with a guy I dated on and off for a few years. We text and fb chat at least once a week but when I send him birthday wishes I don't try to hide it by making it a private message and it's more like "Happy Birthday J, hope it's great!" not "Happy Birthday from the girl you slept with years ago but now just talk to!"
Def. agree though that it would be more concerning if Keb's H didn't say anything and that it really isn't much to worry about.
Again, you're presuming that they talk frequently. If they did, then yes, this would be odd wording. But, from how the OP was worded, it seems as tho this was a kind of out of the blue happy birthday.
If it was out of the blue, it makes me assume that this girl doesn't know the OP and thus doesn't know her personality. I'd also assume that she private messaged OP's H because she was unsure of how the OP handled his relationship with ex-girlfriends. Maybe she would even assume that if OP checks her H's FB, she could make it completely clear that there was nothing going on between them. If this was the situation, I actually think it's kind of nice for this girl to be sensitive to OP's feelings.
Of course this is just assuming, and we all know what happens when people assume, but it makes me wary that you're so close to crucifying this girl for "starting trouble" and to delete her because of a simple happy birthday.
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
I'm with chrissyvcm on this one. The thing that makes me think "Ooooo, ex-gf is trying to start trouble" is this:
"...platonic friend. ;^) He he he."
This, to me, totally comes off as attention-wh0ring/pot-stirring. It's that obnoxious winky face and the he he's that say "Oooo, I'm his past...BE JEALOUS!" (not that you are keb, I just think that's what she's hoping).
IMO, it would have been pot stirring if she did that on his wall. It was a PM.
I was at the mall with my SIL over thanksgiving and saw an ex, and referred to him as such. Does that make me a pot stirrer because I referred to him as "ex"and not as "Dan"? No, because its just a term.
I think this is ridiculous that the poor girl can't say happy b-day without people jumping all over her. Maybe she is an AW, but seems harmless to me.
This. Also, by doing it via PM, it's like she does have something to hide. Wall posts are there for the whole world to see. If someone posts on a wall, they know SOs will read it. They send it in a PM, they are hoping for privacy. But I'm gonna go with immature more than pot-stirrer. Perhaps she hasn't grown up in the past 5 years.
My Bio (wedding pics added 7/6)
My 101
I agree with immature - I don't know many adult women who use the term "he he he" or use weird smileys.
But, maybe I'm just more sensitive of how things can come across via the interwebz. I have a lot of guy friends with psycho GFs (one of whom was mad I hugged her BF AT MY WEDDING) so I'm going to continue to give her the benefit of the doubt until she sends something along the lines of "lemme give you that b-day BJ".
Sorry I posted and ran ladies (my boss actually wanted me to work, WTF).
So to answer a few questions, yes, this girl and DH kind of keep in touch. It's usually a few g-chat messages here or there, nothing much (she likes to ask cooking advice from DH and steal his yummy recipes). Her dad died suddenly when they dated so she seems to think they have this connection or something. I don't care about DH talking to her but I do think she was trying to start stuff. She has never met me, knows nothing about me, but has made comments to DH about me being jealous, not letting him talk to her, blah blah blah. She also has said things to him about how she knows him better than me. Weird.
I would tell DH to stop talking to her except I think that would give her what she wants, proof that I care. And I don't. I'm the one with the rock on my finger.