AP Board

TheDuckis

There are like 50 posts over there about what to do with high maintenance babies. Not one person has connected babies that can't stand to be alone with mothers who can't stand to leave their babies alone.

Also, this post, about sex while co-sleeping, made me laugh, then cry, then made my eyes pop out of my head. Then I was back to laughing.

hmonkey

:: ap babies ::

i understand.  i don't like your mommies either.

MinM

As far as AP goes, how is it any different than normal, healthy parenting but with co-sleeping?

Jake sleeps in our bed, so I guess I am an AP. However, when it comes to sechs, he goes in his crate in the LR, or in the kitchen.

I guess I could tell that chick to put her kid in a crate. I don't suppose that would go over too well.

baconsmom

Oh, Min, no. AP is almost literally having the kid attached to you, all the effing time. You wear the kid (in a sling). You BF the kid (never bottles). You cosleep for YEARS. You never leave the kid with a babysitter. You never leave the kid, period.

Personally, this sounds like a level of hell. And most AP parents refuse to admit that you can choose just some of their techniques, or that going whole hog like this might possibly make for a clingy kid (IMO, if the kid's personality already leans that way, this won't help.). They also think it's right for EVERY child and EVERY parent, and those of us who don't do it just leave the parenting up to the "Neglect-O-Matics": swings, TV, other people, whatever.

They's crazy, yo. And I say that as a parent who did cosleep, who did exclusively BF for a while, who was - and still is - almost always around for her kid.

TheDuckis

Well, it's normal healthy parenting plus co-sleeping, plus baby-wearing, plus coddling the kid every time they look like they might cry at some point in the near or distant future, plus not letting anyone else hold or touch or be near the kid ever, plus asking your husband to sleep on the couch because your bond with your child is more important.

MinM

That sounds excessive and potentially damaging. How is a child supposed to develop a sense of independence?

TheDuckis

Why would a child need that? Clearly the mothers have no sense of independence, and they turned out...yeah.

baconsmom

I think the theory is that the kids are so secure at home, they feel free to explore the world and find their own independence. I don't know how well this works. The only experience I have is letting Bacon do stuff herself - choose her own Neglect-O-Matic, if you will - so I'm not qualified to comment there, except to say that it doesn't make any damn sense to me, either.

MinM

My youngest sister spent half the time in her swing when she was that young. She loved it. That, and TV. We had Lion King on a loop. Also, she turned out fine.

tawillers

We coslept until a couple weeks ago.  DD started out in our bed, moved to the pack-n-play at the foot of our bed, and is now sleeping in her crib.  But we still found plenty of alone time.  It can be done.

Wifezzilla

i didn't read the replies here or there.

 

but FFS, so sex only can happen at night and in the bed when the baby is asleep? what about a little afternoon delight, or maybe on the couch or something?

 

are these kids attached to mom 24/7? ew.

Paulo's Menina Bela

I think SIL does this to a degree without realizing it. Actually, I'm surprised she isn't full on AP.

HookaPants

Taw, you admit to letting your child cry for a few moments while you took a shower. You're already an awful mother in their eyes, kicking your kid out of the room makes you even worse.

 

And I read those responses. 6 months? I won't tell you what I'm really thinking.

hmonkey

TELL.  TELL.

TheDuckis

HookaPants:

And I read those responses. 6 months? I won't tell you what I'm really thinking.

I bet I know!

Wifezzilla

lol hooka. i wouldn't want to have sex with any of those ladies either. 6 months sounds about right.

 

HookaPants

I don't know too many (wo)men who would be 'too tired' to go down to the couch after 6 months. I'm just saying...

TheDuckis

I just assumed that chick's husband was cheating on her. Hormone problems my azz.

HookaPants

Exactly, TD. That man isn't worried because he's not the one not getting any.

hmonkey

i guess that makes sense, considering that other board where all the husbands are leaving their wives with toddlers.

TheDuckis

H is home sick, and he wanted to know what we're talking about. Now he's reading the wikipedia page on AP and laughing.

hmonkey

SHOW HIM PEEKARU.

imoan

I read on the AP board once where this woman was FREAKIN' OUT because she had left her kid in the living room to do something really quickly, and when she came back- the baby had it's head turned toward the tv (it was on).  She was like "his eyes were all glazed over and it was the scariest thing.  Did I damage him for life?!"

Ok, now I understand not having your kid watch tv... but when he inadvertently gets a glimpse of it--- you think he's going to turn into a robot?!  I've never wanted to smack someone so hard in my life.

MinM

When I learned about attachment theory in school, it wasn't anything like what these people are doing/talking about. They done bastardized it.

hmonkey

imoan:

I read on the AP board once where this woman was FREAKIN' OUT because she had left her kid in the living room to do something really quickly, and when she came back- the baby had it's head turned toward the tv (it was on).  She was like "his eyes were all glazed over and it was the scariest thing.  Did I damage him for life?!"

Ok, now I understand not having your kid watch tv... but when he inadvertently gets a glimpse of it--- you think he's going to turn into a robot?!  I've never wanted to smack someone so hard in my life.

this is how i am with tv (mother, teacher, secret lover) and i turned out just fine.  JUST FINE, I SAY.

imoan

hmonkey:

imoan:

I read on the AP board once where this woman was FREAKIN' OUT because she had left her kid in the living room to do something really quickly, and when she came back- the baby had it's head turned toward the tv (it was on).  She was like "his eyes were all glazed over and it was the scariest thing.  Did I damage him for life?!"

Ok, now I understand not having your kid watch tv... but when he inadvertently gets a glimpse of it--- you think he's going to turn into a robot?!  I've never wanted to smack someone so hard in my life.

this is how i am with tv (mother, teacher, secret lover) and i turned out just fine.  JUST FINE, I SAY.

I love tv, and I would have no problem with my kid watching tv.  I was just saying that I know that it's not the BEST thing.  Doesn't mean I wont sit that thing down in front of Dora occassionally when mommy needs a break... but I know that where SOME of those people are coming from.

MinM

Maybe his eyes were glazed over because he was amazed because he had never seen a TV before.

Andplusalso, I am 99% sure that the healthiest moments of my childhood were spend with TV. My family is what caused my anxiety. TV was nice, safe, and predictable.

TV is the best dad there is.

TheDuckis

Please see MinM's siggy for all you need to know about children and television.

baconsmom

I'm with Min on this one. It is also the best mom. TV is certainly more cuddly and approachable than my own mother!

NOLABridesmaid

I watch more tv now than I ever did as a kid, and I watched a lot of tv as a kid.

 

 

 

 

MinM

Ditto, BMom. I'll take the boob tube over an abusive dad anyday.

And when I was a kid, they had lots of PSAs, so I learned about things.