Holidays
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Husband's Holiday Fail
My husband got me a Chia Herb Garden for Christmas. That's it. I spend over $200 on him, and he picked this up with his employee discount at the pharmacy he works in.
Even his mom said he failed.
Re: Husband's Holiday Fail
Whoa. Does he at least know that he's a failure? Does he have the decency to feel crappy about it?
Are you serious???
I'm sure you don't mean to imply that he had to spend a lot of money in order to get you a good gift...
It is obvious that he didn't put a lot of thought into your gift and that would hurt my feelings. Did he ask you for ideas of things you might like for Christmas? My H and I both keep a running list of things we would really like for gifts (B-day, anniversary and Christmas) and each of us picks things from the list. We update it regularly. It's nice, because we don't know exactly what we're getting, but we know we will get something we want. Has he always had trouble finding you things for special occasions, or was this an isolated event?
He finally got that he failed when I came home from work last night after everyone in my office had spent the ENTIRE day telling asking me what I got for Christmas. I started talking about things that I got from my parents (Ugg style boots that are real shearling but $140 cheaper!) and my sister (ornaments for our chritmas tree that each one has a story behind, including the one that she put a feather from our wedding in!) and then they asked me what he got, and then rubbed it in my face how much he failed and that I will always remember that he faile don our first married Christmas.
And you guys are right - the big hurt is that there was no thought behind it. I do love to cook and we have talked about growing some of our own herbs once we have a plce with the space to do it, so I guess that was his thought process. The problem is that I special ordered his, and got him several things that are his FAVORITE things in the world.
Oh, and this is his first fail. Last year he got me a really cute Pandora ring. I even have 2 of the charm bracelets, so any time that he can't think of anything else, he knows that he can go pick out a charm with some sort of story behind it. Heck, my best friend works at the jewelry store that sells them, so she could even pick it out for him!
I love this man, but it did kind of sting. I woudl have loved it if he had even made me a card or something to just show that he thought about it.
Yes he failed, but what guy doesn't fail at one point (or more) or another?
IMO, move on. It's not worth holding a grudge over or fighting about. In a few years, it'll make for a funny memory/story.
I think that the hardest thing for some men about gift giving holidays is that women have expectations and the man doesn't know/understand what they are.
My dh used to be the worst gift giver on holidays, but was very thoughtful when the pressure was off. It wasn't romantic, but I started letting him know what I liked/wanted. I even showed him things in a store that had a lot of stuff that I loved, (not even expensive things, just all kinds of decor/accessories and other things that were my taste) then left the store and left him to buy something while he remembered what I liked. It didn't take more than a couple of Christmases before he got confidence to go it alone, and he became a better listener and more thoughtful gift giver.
I call BS on this. Plenty of men who are "bad gift givers" are the same ones who put 2,000 hours into picking just the right cell phone, flat screen tv, or computer (and accessories, etc) for themselves. And spending the money to get exactly what they want.
I'm sorry your dh didn't get you a good gift. On the bright side, you can walk around your house singing "Ch-ch-ch-CHIA!" to mock him for the next couple of weeks.
If it makes you feel any better, my DH mentioned that he was considering getting me one of those until I shot down the idea. I'm guessing they were advertised heavily this year. I want to do more with gardening, so he was trying to be thoughtful, but Chia? No, that's not quite what I meant.
My hunny pulled a similar stunt a few years ago. My solution: a list.
I create a list every year of things that I like, not necessarly things that I want for Christmas. It mainly a way to give him ideas of the sort of things Im into at the time. So therefor, he at least has a starting off point. And if it comes down to him not having "time," or not "knowing" what to get, he has a whole list of things he can pick up or order online. No excuses. My list ranges from drugstore lip gloss to stuff from Bloomingdales, with sizes and colors included .... varity sparks imagination.
Christmas isnt about the gift as much as it is about the time and thought, which Im sure you wish your hunny understood.
Good Luck
By the way: Since he failed so terrible I think you are entitled to go out and get yourself something nice, make up for his short-commings. I can do for myself, better than any man can do (well.....at least in some departments)
Sorry, I literally LOL
Just that DH works at a pharmacy too. Always trying to see if there is anything he can get there for absolutely anybody with his employee discount. I think it's hilarious. He hasn't gotten me a Chia pet but he did ask me if I wanted one a couple of years ago.
Hopefully your hubby does better next time!
OH MY GOODNESS! i'm so glad i'm not the only one! we are spending the whole weekend together, and so tonight was the night to give gifts since we won't be apart to shop. we agreed on a more laid-back valentine's day, but i told him that i had a lot of cool stuff planned.
my gift to him: a bunch of primping, and wearing an uncomfortable yet highly sexy corset outfit for him when he came thru the door, fancy homecooked steak dinner with a paired red wine, chocolate fondue for dessert and for messing around (he LOVES fondue), multiple movies (including ones i personally have no desire to see, but that he loves), and a sleep-over style makeover of our living room complete with spill-proof tarp so we could sit and playfully enjoy our fondue while staying up all night watching movies. also, i ordered chocoholics body chocolate and lovers' dice game, but it didn't get here in time...:-/
his gift to me, even after i pretty much spelled out for him some sure-fire gifts i'd enjoy: a small, cheap grocery store lily bouquet and an "i couldn't find anything so let's pick something out tomorrow, together. my gift to you is spending time with you (even though we're already going to lunch and a movie tomorrow)!
it would have been ok, except that i know for a fact that he didn't sit down and try to really think of anything, and i could see the guilt in his eyes as he tried to make it sound like he had thought up this great gift for me. we've been snowed in the past 2 days, and today after work he went for drinks with his pals instead of taking this last chance to go out and get me something. then he made a quick stop at the grocery store on the way home.
his christmas gifts sucked too. i'm pretty sure he only spent one afternoon shopping, whereas i spent months accumulating his gifts. we had agreed on a budget, but where i was able to fit in probably 15 gifts, he got me 5, including two DIFFERENT pancake skillets (one electric, one not)! i tried everything i could think of to help him along so that valentine's wouldn't be as much of a disappointment. oh well...
This. And if at all possible, don't bring it up with future gift fails. It happens to everyone--1st Vday together (this was last year) and he got me 2 dozen roses from Kroger that were half dead while he was waiting for me to pick him up.
This year, he made up for it with diamond earrings.
I promise you, all of his gifts won't be fails. And to whoever wrote the "running list" suggestion, great idea! I keep a list in my head of things H wants for future gifting. It wouldn't be a bad idea for you to do something like that....
My husband and I got married in August so this was our first round of married holidays. However we had 3 previous years of presents and such. Christmas of 08 he got me a GPS, we lived in a tiny college town that has numbered streets one way and the others are in alphabetical order. You have be completely stupid to get lost. So when I found out what it was I sent it back and told him I didn't want it.
Take 2- he got me Christmas decorations and stockings!!! It was so cute! I was so proud and excited.
I honestly have no idea what he got me this past year, but I make sure I tell him if the present sucks or what I want.