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What to do... what to do...
So when DH and I were dating, I came into the relationship with a little white fuzzy dog, and he decided he needed a "man's dog" and got a doberman. The doberman and goldendoodle get along really well, but its like 24/7 wrestling in the house. Our doberman is the SWEETEST dog in the world, but she is very high energy and a lot to handle sometimes.
Anyways, DH and I have been talking lately... and we're making a pre-baby bucketlist, and we're realizing that having two dogs, especially when one of them is high maintenance, is going to make things difficult. I love the dog, I've been crying just thinking about giving her up, but we need to do what's right for us. And our (tentative) plan is to start TTC in 3 years, and we know that a 90 lb dog isn't going to work with a baby, so we had always talked about giving her up around that time. I also think she would be happier in a home where she gets more attention, and more time that she can spend outside.
Ugh this is so hard. She's a part of our family 100%, but our lives have changed a lot since we got her, and I don't know if having her around works with where we want to be in both our short term and long term goals. Does anyone have any advice?? I really could use some outside opinions....
Re: What to do... what to do...
I am a big animal person and I always believe that if u get an animal, u make it a lifelong thing, even if it becomes an obstacle or there are times where it can be hard to deal with, or expensive. You have to think about those kinds of things before you get the animal, most animals last 10 yrs or more so you have to think about your goals in 10 yrs and will this animal still be able to work with us. A lot of people don't think about this, and that's why we see so many animals on Craigslist because they are having babies, and feel they can't take the responsibility anymore.
I def. don't think you should get rid of a pet because you want children, esp if u say she is apart of your family 100%. A large dog shouldnt be given up just because you think it won't be good with a baby just because it is large and active. There are plenty of large dogs that are great with children. It would also be good when the child gets older and can play with the dogs and run their energy off. I would suggest taking the dog to obedience classes and just walking the dog everyday for exercise. Having dogs really does take a lot of work and you have to be committed to it from the beginning. It breaks my heart to see him just given up because of being large and because you want kids. You just have to learn how to divide your time and give attention and love to animals AND kids! Hope this helps, I know it is prob. not what u want to hear tho
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Yes, what Foto said. Our little furbaby is our baby for the rest of his life. I feel very strongly about animals and animal adoption and can't imagine giving him up. Like Foto said, I would put the dog in training now to get the behavior in check. I have lots of friends that have babies and big dogs and, from what I have seen and read, big dogs are often better than small dogs with small children. Definitely give it more thought!
If you ultimately decide to give the dog away, I would do it sooner than later. The older a dog is at the time it is given over to a shelter, the less likely the dog is to be adopted.
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It's not that she's badly behaved, she just doesn't know how big she is and she is very strong willed. She knows basic commands and is very sweet. But she runs into stuff, and smacks our other dog and sometimes people (it's a weird trait she has). And she's always moving... think like a shark lol. And she LOVES kids to the point of chasing them down... and no parent wants to see a 90 Doberman running full speed at their kid. I would never take her to a shelter, I would try to rehome her first with someone I know, and if not, try to find her a good home by really investigating the families with which she would be placed. We're going to be giving it a ton of thought, so thanks for your feedback
Out of curiosity, how old is the dog now? A lot can change temperament wise in three years. I've seen a dog who physically couldn't sit because her tail was hyperactively wagging turn into a nice, calm home dog over time.
I completely understand what you're saying about wanting to rehome the dog. I just think you may be jumping to conclusions a little soon. Just because a dog is big doesn't mean that it won't be good with a baby around. I've seen babies cuddling with Mastiffs (cutest thing ever). I hate to use Marley and Me as a reference, but again with the huge, crazy ass lab doing all right with kids. (Good book, btw.)
If you have the ability, I would begin seriously working with your dog over the next 16 months. Invest in a dog trainer or consultant to see what she says. You have time to make this decision, so use it to your advantage.
I completely agree with pp's! Honestly traveling etc are things that you can do while you have pets but you have to either find someone willing to pet sit or put them in a doggie day care type place when you go away. Lots of people do this all the time. Plus you have 2 dogs so what are you going to do with the other one keep it? Both goldendoodles and dobermans are big dogs so the idea to get rid of one doesn't make sense unless of course I missed something.
Thanks everyone for your advice. I think we just got overwhelmed... we talked and we don't think it would be right to give her up. I don't think either one of us could really go through with it.
But to answer some of your questions, the other dog is a mini goldendoodle, so he's only like 30 pounds. And Our doberman is about 2 and a half, so we don't know if she's going to settle down any further. But love her to death! In all of her 90 pounds of craziness
I know I'm a little late on this one, and I think you have figured it out, but I thought I could bring some perspective. My step-brother and his wife just had their first child in March. They have owned several pets for several years... right now they have a couple of cats, but more importantly (to this story, at least), 2 labs and a mastiff! I don't know if you are familiar with mastiffs but it's the same breed that Hooch was from Turner and Hooch. Luckily she's a girl, so she only weighs in at 150 lbs. The labs are about 90 each. They have a 2 bedroom townhome style house in Chicago and it works. Please do not think you have to choose between your dogs and potential children.
A dog is forever, just like children. DH and I are looking into getting a second dog right now from a rescue center. I wouldn't have even thought of it causing a problem with having kids.
Just in case the story about my step-niece wasn't enough proof... how about photos? The first one is their mastiff and the second one is one of their labs. The second one is (in my opinion) one of the cutest pictures ever. It can be done and it will be fine, I promise.
Sorry, let's try the 2nd one again...