Mexico Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
notamrs
Are you a lurker?
My ex had schizoaffective disorder, too. How did you manage to stay with him so long?
Re: notamrs
hi
yes - I am a lurker. trying to be more proactive - but mostly just enjoy everyone's company from the sidelines.
I'm not exactly sure how I stayed so long - it was a complicated situation. Probably a combination of my emotional immaturity (I never dated much and he was my first serious relationship after college) and not really being sure how to get out of the situation - many people have told me I'm too nice and worry about other people's feelings more than my own. As I said, I already give myself major sideye for letting it go on as long as it did.
Plus, there were times when things got better so it seemed like we'd be able to move forward. But eventually the same patterns kept repeating and I finally woke up and realized enough was enough. At any rate, I don't harbor any resentment toward him - it just got to the point where I realized I was trying to make him better and it wasn't something I could do for him. Anyway - better days ahead, right?
I'm not so much giving you the side eye, because then I can't give both myself AND you the side eye at the same time. Yea, as time has gone on, for me, I've realized a lot about my relationship with him, including how much I've grown from it. It seems like you have too, which is really the best thing to come away from it with.
Did you have children together or no? We did not, and I'm very grateful for that. We were together for 3 years.
No - no kids. And I'm thankful for that as well, though I wish I had gotten myself together sooner so that planning for them with someone else would not be such a stretch (I'm not quite in the barren years yet, but age will definitely be a consideration by the time I'm ready for that step with the next person).
And yes - as difficult and often painful as it was, I do feel like I took some good things away from the relationship. I grew up a LOT and think it forged a much deeper character and sense of empathy than if I had never experienced it.
So - cheers to both of us! Glad to meet a kindred spirit who knows what it was like - even if you're not real.