I just don't understand how...

SkyLizard

...how any child could ever turn their back on their mother or father. I mean I guess if your parent was a raging alcoholic/druggie/etc. But if your mom or dad was totally loving, supportive and had been sacrificing themselves to help you out (even as an adult), how can you just turn your back on them and still feel good about yourself? Sorry, I just need to vent. Too much family drama lately and it just boggles my mind how selfish some people can really be.  Despite my own issues with my mother I could never turn my back on her, especially if she was in real need of help. I just don't get it. I hope that karma is real and that certain people get a major kick in the arse soon.

terpbrideinnc

I don't understand either, and I have very little respect for my BIL because of this.

dbertagni

My DH does not speak to his mother and hasn't since he was 16 (he is 37). She kidnapped him from his dad and took him to Canada, married a man that beat him and then kicked him out on the streets at age 16 when she couldn't collect support from the Canadian government for him anymore..so...people do have turn their backs on families for all sorts of reasons. It happens and sometimes it is the best thing.

AmericanTribal

I don't either.

I was a raging piece of absolute filth when I was a teenager (I did and said some very awful things) and my mom *never* turned her back on me. I wouldn't turn my back on my mom for anything.

It sounds like you're having some problems in your family and I hope they get resolved soon. Let me know if you need/want to talk!

laudanum1

Sorry your family is going through drama right now.

I'm guessing your question is rhetorical, but...

...if my mom were to be without a home/job/money tomorrow, she would get exactly 2 weeks in my house to figure out something & then she's out. She's not an alcoholic or drug addict, but she does have issues that would negatively impact me & DH, & I refuse to sacrifice my sanity & relationships that I value. I have kicked my father out of our apartment years ago after living with us for 2 months for the same reason; I do not regret that decision.

Now I have a cousin, on the other hand, that's 22 & lives with a financially supportive & loving - throw-money-at-it-to-fix-it - mother. Due to my aunt coddling her & fixing all her mistakes, she has learned no responsibility, is a semi-train wreck, & has no respect for her mom. I'm not saying my aunt deserves how her daughter treats her, but I can definately see that the constant support & bail-outs have actually hurt both of them. Sounds like you might have one of those situations? 

terpbrideinnc

dbertagni:

My DH does not speak to his mother and hasn't since he was 16 (he is 37). She kidnapped him from his dad and took him to Canada, married a man that beat him and then kicked him out on the streets at age 16 when she couldn't collect support from the Canadian government for him anymore..so...people do have turn their backs on families for all sorts of reasons. It happens and sometimes it is the best thing.

I think that's what sky meant when she mentioned the parent being an alcoholic/druggie/etc. Obviously, some parents have to lie in the bed they've made for themselves, but I think she's talking about a child turning their back on a parent who has been otherwise loving/supportive. Sorry your DH had such a terrible mom, I can't imagine anyone would disagree that it's best that she be out of his life.

715inNC

I don't understand it until someone describes a situation like some of the ladies here have...it's understandable in certain circumstances

SkyLizard

terpbrideinnc:

dbertagni:

My DH does not speak to his mother and hasn't since he was 16 (he is 37). She kidnapped him from his dad and took him to Canada, married a man that beat him and then kicked him out on the streets at age 16 when she couldn't collect support from the Canadian government for him anymore..so...people do have turn their backs on families for all sorts of reasons. It happens and sometimes it is the best thing.

I think that's what sky meant when she mentioned the parent being an alcoholic/druggie/etc. Obviously, some parents have to lie in the bed they've made for themselves, but I think she's talking about a child turning their back on a parent who has been otherwise loving/supportive. Sorry your DH had such a terrible mom, I can't imagine anyone would disagree that it's best that she be out of his life.

Thank you Terp. That's why I said that in my OP. Of course I can understand it in a situation where a parent is abusive, has mental issues, is an alcoholic, etc, etc. But when that parent has been trying their hardest and treaing that child well, that's when I just don't understand a child just walking away.

dbertagni

SkyLizard:

terpbrideinnc:

dbertagni:

My DH does not speak to his mother and hasn't since he was 16 (he is 37). She kidnapped him from his dad and took him to Canada, married a man that beat him and then kicked him out on the streets at age 16 when she couldn't collect support from the Canadian government for him anymore..so...people do have turn their backs on families for all sorts of reasons. It happens and sometimes it is the best thing.

I think that's what sky meant when she mentioned the parent being an alcoholic/druggie/etc. Obviously, some parents have to lie in the bed they've made for themselves, but I think she's talking about a child turning their back on a parent who has been otherwise loving/supportive. Sorry your DH had such a terrible mom, I can't imagine anyone would disagree that it's best that she be out of his life.

Thank you Terp. That's why I said that in my OP. Of course I can understand it in a situation where a parent is abusive, has mental issues, is an alcoholic, etc, etc. But when that parent has been trying their hardest and treaing that child well, that's when I just don't understand a child just walking away.

I know what you meant. It is still hard either way I think, I can't even talk to DH about it. I could never turn my back on my mother or family!