North Carolina Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
~AmericanTribal~
Hey chica. You've mentioned in your posts recently that you're trying to be more positive about things this year. I was just wondering how you're going about this. Last year I was in such a funk most of the year and I don't want 2010 to be that way again. I was thinking of getting some self-help books and doing some yoga. Any other thoughts?
Re: ~AmericanTribal~
Hey!
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It's sort of a long story, but I'll try to get my ADD brain to put it down in a way that isn't *completely* scattered lol, and I'll try to keep it from becoming a novel.
2009 was a very rough year for DH and I. Among the many things that happened, there was our doggy dying, my uncle dying, my trouble TTC and the inability to afford any type of treatment and the absolute horror I have of doctors (not an easy thing to be scared of when you're trying to get pregnant), $20,000 worth of debt and only making $40,000 (the two of us combined) a year, a $700 a month paycut, my autistic brother going comatose and almost dying because they overmedicated him so my mom had to go down to FL and take him out of a very GOOD home down there and bring him here to live until we can find a good group-home here, my BIL/MIL and all of their nastiness, some extremely close calls in my marriage etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on like it does for a lot of people.
I realized some time last month that I was getting ready to have a serious breakdown. I was sighing heavily every 3 minutes, I was arguing with my husband every hour, I was nauseus ALL the time. It was *awful.*
I started researching positive thinking because I knew I had to do something to save myself or I would become a walking ball of heartburn (and my blood pressure was through the roof).
I read The Secret (and no, I don't believe that a million dollars will magically manifest itself in my hands because I asked the universe for it) and while I don't take it literally, I do believe that there are some VERY good pointers in that book to get you on your way to being happier.
Again, in order not to sound like a crazy person, I'd like to state that I took that book with a shotglass of salt (not just a grain lol)...
BUT, it helped me to see that there are *different* ways to looking at my situation. Different and better. Instead of feeling like I was drowning in debt, I now feel like I'm getting myself OUT of the debt and like I'm wealthy in many other aspects of my life (love, health, family, etc.). That book, coupled with a lot of positive thinking exercises from this website: http://www.successconsciousness.com/index_000009.htm have really helped me. I also recommend checking out the "Power of Affirmations" on that site (there are a list of links on the side of the webpage and power of affirmations is there, along with some other really good stuff).
There are moments (more than a few) where I start slipping back into being negative... you don't change a 5 year mindset overnight or in a week. But I believe that I'm truly getting better and I feel so much happier. It's amazing the difference that just a week has made.
I don't think it's stupid or yuppy or weird or annoying or a lot of the other raised eyebrow responses I've gotten from some of my friends back home lol. All I've done is simply switch around the way I view my situation in life. Instead of being sad about things, I choose to look at the positive and to realize that I am beautiful on the INSIDE and that I have love coming at me from many different sources. That's one of the most important things.
Here are a few examples of how I've changed my views and some of the things I like to do to keep myself happy:
1) The other day, I lost internet and phone service in my house and couldn't work (so I lost some money because I had to clock out)... instead of getting frustrated, I got happy because I was able to have a nice day to relax, get some cleaning done and just enjoy being alone and happy in my house.
2) Like I said before, I'm way in over my head with debt... but instead of feeling stress over it, I've taken SMALL steps to achieving my goal by putting $20 a day into savings so I can pay off each and every card.
3) I've started a scrapbook w/ DH... it's got pictures and cutouts of everything we want to do in life... places we want to travel, pictures of huge wads of cash :P, jewelry and nice things (like a huge house on the beach)
4) Green tea makes me happy, I don't know why. I drink a lot of it.
5) Yoga... yes, I totally recommend yoga. It is so relaxing and it really helps to put your mind at rest (plus, it's good for you). As a woman, you probably have close to 60,000 thoughts a day and it's nice to - for 20 minutes a day - have SOME peace of mind
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6) Turn your nasty situations into something positive. There are some things (like death and taxes lol) that you just can't make into a good thing... but anything else can be reversed to your advantage. Lose your job? Go look for your dream job (a great opportunity!). Have a fight w/ DH? Take it as a chance to find a better way to get through disagreements or just take it as an opportunity for some alone time with yourself.
You're in control of your own life... and you only have one (at least, you only have one that you can remember) so making it as good as possible should be something we all want to do.
There are positive things and beauty in almost everything, you just have to change the way you SEE those things and then you'll find it.
Wow, ok, so this is still a novel... but I hope it helps you. If you ever want to hang out or get something to eat, coffee, etc... even if it's just to talk/vent/get stuff of your chest, I am totally here for you
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I actually have read the Secret and even though must of it is pretty silly, I do think that the general idea of being more optimistic is a good one. I'm going to check out that website and check out Barnes & Noble this weekend. Maybe we could meet up at B&N some time soon and chat about stuff. I totally feel your pain on the financial situation, but stay postive and you will reach your goal of being debt free. I was able to pay down $12k of my cc's last year (that hurt to type out lol) and I'll be done paying the rest this spring. And I love your idea of making a scrapbook of things you want to do. I'm going to steal your idea and start my own scrapbook. They say that you have a better chance of reaching your goals if you put them to paper so what's the harm in trying right?
$12k, that's a lot of debt to pay off. That's awesome!
I would love to get together at B&N some time. Books, coffee/tea and good company sounds great!
I really enjoy the scrabpook thing that DH and I are doing, I would highly recommend it. It's actually A LOT of fun. Even if you just do it on your own and start a book of things you want in life, you can go through it in a few years and see what you were able to accomplish. It's like having a diary... with pictures lol.
I just PMd you my phone#, give me a call if you ever want to chat / g2g
Got your PM
Maybe we could swap books too to help save money. I have a few financial books that are really good that I've already read if you want to borrow them.
Absolutely! I also have thought a lot (for the last year or so) about taking some courses in finance (and maybe trying to become an accountant eventually, which I would love to do). I think I remember you saying that was your field, so maybe you could give me some pointers when we get together.