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about rehoming a pet
Disclaimer: I know I post a lot about our zoo, but its really just a relief to vent my own frustrations. We love our pets and they aren't going anywhere.
Is there ever a good reason to rehome a pet? I think about our little cat, Aang. He spends all day hiding in our closet, hissing at anyone who dares enter. The noise from the kids and everything about the dog makes him more and more mean.
Late at night, when all is quiet. If I'm up reading a book he'll creep out and want to lay with me, finally getting some attention. I wonder what kind of cat he could be if he was in a non-kids, non-dog home.
Rehoming a pet is such taboo, and I do understand why. But what if you truly believe that its for the animal's own good?
Again, just thoughts. The cat isn't going anywhere.
Re: about rehoming a pet
I think its just like kids. I think you should do whatever is in his best interests. It sounds like you are a conscientious pet owner and have your pets best interests at heart.
It sounds like that particular cat would do better in a quieter environment. Of course, he might just be mean.
I used to have a cat that was just pretty pissy no matter how quiet it was, and we didn't have any kids or pets.
I'll admit that I don't know a lot about cats, so this is all based on assumptions... My mom had a cat that hid all day long - and we just figured the cat was non social. Even after we (the kids) moved out... the cat only came out when it was feeling ready and that wasn't for a lot of time. I think some of it may be the cat's personality - as they don't generally 'need' as much affection as dogs.
Maybe I'm way off base, but just my thoughts.
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I think it's "taboo" b/c many people do it out of laziness or failure to do their homework. They brought home a puppy or kitten b/c they were cute and when they realize there's work involved and pets need attention too, they want to get rid of them. Obviously, even in that situation if they aren't willing to make the commitment, I would frown on their poor judgement, but in the end it's better for everyone if the pet is rehomed.
I look at the situation you're describing as completely different. What you're talking about is a rehome for the cat's welfare, not b/c you just don't want to deal with it. You're not looking to do it for selfish reasons, so there's no stigma attached to that in my book.
I agree with srh0029. The stigma comes from poor planning or laziness and generally not taking responsibility as a pet owner. This isn't that case.
Is there a way you can try giving the cat it's own space for a day or two and see what happens? I ask because my childhood cat was completely antisocial as well. She stayed in a closet for most of the eight years that we had her and only occasionally came out at times other than feeding time. But we didn't have any other animals, it was just my parents and I and I was a really quiet kid. It may be that this is just the cat's personality and a quieter home really won't change things. Or it may be that he/she needs to go to a place where they're the only pet. That's why I wondered if there was anyway you could do a trial and see if there are any changes.
This is such a hard decision, I'm sorry you are faced with it. Previous posts are right that some cats are just antisocial however the vast majority want some sort of attention. The fact that he is sneaking out at night when all is quiet to get your love would make me learn towards your theory about a quieter home. Cats are not naturally pack animals and so some just simply want to be the only "baby" in the home. You may even find that a home with kids but no dog is enough.
When I moved in with my husband (bf at the time) I was forced with one of the hardest decisions in my life. I had a two year old Pit Bull Mix who I adored- he went everywhere with me (and two cats). DH had two dogs. The three of them just didn't mesh well together. my dog was raised as a spoiled only child and his dogs were so closely bonded they didn't fully accept him. Add in the fact that that my DH family is super anti-pit bull and you can see where this is going. While DH was totally sold on this little guy and loved him (he has become a full fledged bully breed lover!) we both knew that it wasn't fair to force the three dogs into a new pack. I planned though and made this decision far enough in advance to have plenty of time to look for a new home. After about 8 months of looking I did find the perfect couple to adopt him and he is super happy. I just talked to them the other day actually and they are a super happy family.
So, point is- sometimes it is for the best no matter how hard it is. If you decide to do this though be vary wary of craigslist. That has become a scary place to find homes for your animals, I had an ex-coworker actually end up investigated for picking up cats/kittens for 'free to good home' or even lower adoption and fees and selling them to laboratories or higher bidders.
our neighbor's cat does this same thing - he's very skiddish and only comes out after her toddler has gone to bed.
ETA: did you have the cat before your youngest one or vice versa?
Everyone brings up good points. Let me try to answer all the questions:
Order of arrival was: Jakob, Sokka (good cat), Aang (evil cat), Layna and finally Joey the dog. Even before Layna and Joey showed up, Aang was pretty anti-social. We were in the apt then and he hid under the bed. Once we moved to the house and got the baby and the dog, the cats took over the master bedroom. Its pretty quiet in there all day, and sometimes Aang will come out of the closet to sleep on the bed. When the door opens he hisses and runs for the closet.
It sounds like the cat is just that way. I've had cats all my life, some were very friendly and others were more of the type that people were only there to feed them. It's very stressful on cats to be rehomed....very very stressful. Cats do not respond well to stress. Also, cats are more nocturnal creatures anyway. One of my favorite cats slept in my mom's closet all day and at night would sneak to my room and be pet. He was fine being alone.
If you give an older "evil" cat to a shelter 9 times out of 10 they'll just put it down
ditto AA - sounds like the cat is just anti-social and probably wouldn't change if he switched homes.
my friend had a cat who would pee on her bed everytime she left the house because he'd be so angry - she'd have to remove all of her bedding before leaving. at least he doesn't do that?
Have you thought about rehoming the children? I KID! I KID!!
Everyone else is giving great advice. I just couldn't help myself =P
Sometimes I wonder how much I could get for the kids on Craigslist...