(from a forwarded email)
CREATIVE PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's
round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much
pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he
loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra
class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed
into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter
how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave
birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen
in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a
race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet
organization
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
14. I
wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A
sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."
16.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change
yet."
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it's your vote
that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When
cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join
dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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