um...hello overshare

LnR70707

I fully understand being pissed, but I'm not a huge fan of airing word for word details on the internet.

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/29458450.aspx

edit:  this is C&Ped from his FB account.

**O-Face**

I was more offended by his texts or whatever than the fact that he was scamming on some girl.

Cant_wait!

omg, that sucks. I can't even imagine what I'd do if I found something like that.

TheDuckis

Ouch.

I think she jumped in too early. Not to say I don't think he's cheating, but I think you have to have a stronger case than one IM conversation before you go confronting the other woman. 

Cant_wait!

it was the "is SHE home tonight" "Yeah " part that got me. So clearly she knew he was married, and didn't care.

 

**O-Face**

He obviously didn't either.

zsazsa-stl

She should have replied to say that "her plans changed, home alone tonight, what do you want to do?" to get more evidence.

At least that is what I have written in my "Don't Kill DH Immediatly, Do This First" handbook.

TheDuckis

Cant_wait!:

it was the "is SHE home tonight" "Yeah " part that got me. So clearly she knew he was married, and didn't care.

 

the "you wanna see me=)" is what made my stomach drop. 

 

Also, the girl just graduated from high school. Gross.

 

But you know exactly the fight they're going to have tonight. He's going to blame her for snooping on his FB page, and he'll have had plenty of time to come up with some explanation as to who this girl is. Bad move.

LnR70707

TheDuckis:

Cant_wait!:

it was the "is SHE home tonight" "Yeah " part that got me. So clearly she knew he was married, and didn't care.

 

the "you wanna see me=)" is what made my stomach drop. 

 

Also, the girl just graduated from high school. Gross.

 

But you know exactly the fight they're going to have tonight. He's going to blame her for snooping on his FB page, and he'll have had plenty of time to come up with some explanation as to who this girl is. Bad move.

Exactly...particularly since she confronted the girl on his page...and the OP said he logged back in and deleted the whole convo.  So he'll have plenty of time to come up with an excuse.

jojobrn

I don't think this was actually on his page though, it looks like it is the im part of FB which doesn't post anywhere others can read it.

I am trying to figure out  how she saw it, is she logging into his FB? Either way, her husband sounds like scum.

TheDuckis

Yeah, it looks to me like she accessed his page and saw it, which is why I was saying that she inadvertently turned it into a fight about her snooping rather than his cheating.

Cant_wait!

I know when H had a fb account, and I would go to fb he would often still be logged in. If someone IM'd him before I'd clicked the sign out button, I'd have looked too...

TheDuckis

I think most people would, and I think most people would not be expecting to find something like this. But a jerk who just got caught with his pants down is going to be looking to deflect blame, and she just gave him the perfect way to do so.

TheDuckis

zsazsa-stl:

She should have replied to say that "her plans changed, home alone tonight, what do you want to do?" to get more evidence.

At least that is what I have written in my "Don't Kill DH Immediatly, Do This First" handbook.

This should be an actual handbook. I bet it would be a best seller. 

zsazsa-stl

TheDuckis:

zsazsa-stl:

She should have replied to say that "her plans changed, home alone tonight, what do you want to do?" to get more evidence.

At least that is what I have written in my "Don't Kill DH Immediatly, Do This First" handbook.

This should be an actual handbook. I bet it would be a best seller. 

 It would be a lawsuit waiting to happen because half of the flowcharts end with, "Ok, go ahead and kill him."

MinM

ded @ zsa-zsa flow charts of death, but yeah, they'd have to be in there 'cause in some cases, a mofo has to die.

Butter Cookie

My ex leaving his YIM open is how I found out he was cheating on me. Gawd how I would have loved to air his dirty laundry for all the people we knew. I didn't, but the idea of doing that... is the equivalent of what it must feel like when a dog rolls around on something smelly. You know it's terrible, but you do it anyway, because it feels soooo good. LOL

**Stinky!**

Am I the only one who thought she reacted too quickly? She totally skipped over, "Okay. Let me think this through. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for this." to "OMG He's the SCUM OF THE  EARTH! I'm BURNING HIS THINGS!!!"

Heffalump

**Stinky!**:

Am I the only one who thought she reacted too quickly? She totally skipped over, "Okay. Let me think this through. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for this." to "OMG He's the SCUM OF THE  EARTH! I'm BURNING HIS THINGS!!!"

That crossed my mind, too.  Yes, he sounds like a douche, but as others have pointed out, she didn't quite have the goods on him.  He can always play it off as stupid flirting.  I don't think that's acceptable, either, and I suspect that there was a lot more than that going on, but I do think she jumped the gun.

That said, in her shoes I probably wouldn't be thinking clearly and would pull some hotheaded stunt, too.

Butter Cookie

If the conversation hadn't convinced me, the "It was a joke! All my friends know what a jealousbitch you are!" would have. I had only slightly more evidence than this with ex, and he did eventually own up to what he had done, but didn't consider it cheating.