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For those of you who are vegetarian for environmental reasons
I became a vegetarian a couple of years ago. Long story short - after seeing and reading about it, I felt that most available meat is not sustainably produced. Since I can't afford the sustainably produced stuff, I made the choice not to eat meat at all.
I usually avoid talking about this with people, meat eaters specifically, because I think that my reasoning makes them feel like they and their eating habits are being attacked. Maybe I'm not explaining myself well, or maybe it's just an inherently controversial thing to talk about, but anyway - that's the case. So usually I avoid it.
I have a very good friend/coworker who I can talk to about pretty much anything. We happened upon this topic today and it went well for a while, then totally exploded in my face... He basically called me a hypocrite because I was still friends with people (and married to a person) who still eats "conventional" meat. He said I was telling him he was a bad person and bad to the planet and bad to animals, and that was judgmental and rude and intolerant.
Have you guys encountered this? How do you explain your reasons for being a vegetarianism without it coming off as a personal attack on other people? Clearly I am doing something wrong here... I don't want to continue to upset people I care about just because of something I believe in.
Re: For those of you who are vegetarian for environmental reasons
Your friend is being a pain in a$$. He thinks you are being a hypocrite, but I'm sure he'd also think you were being a jerk if you cut ties will all the people you care about who eat meat.
You are probably not doing anything offensive or preachy. All you can continue to do it to explain the reasons you choose not to eat meat when asked. Most likely your friend is being defensive because he knows you are right, but doesn't have the commitment to follow it up with actions and feels guilty.
This is BS. How else would he change things? It's hypocritical to eat meat and think its wrong and argue with people who you "agree" with that are making efforts toward change.
I tell people it's for environmental reasons and i can email them details if they'd like to know more. Keeps the conversation going, but opens the door to them learning more if they are actually interested.
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
I'm not sure I totally understand it either. Basically he's upset that I think that the meat he buys is not so environmentally responsible - he feels that's judgmental and intolerant of me. I am passing judgment on the way he lives, I guess. But isn't being pissed at me for thinking that a rejection of MY opinion, and judgmental in itself?
I don't know. Been going over this conversation in my head over and over, wondering what exactly I did wrong. I am really confused.
1. Your friend sounds like a douche.
2. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years now for environmental reasons and I just simply don't discuss it with people because for so many, it's as hot button of an issue as politics or religion- people get very defensive about it-
Instead, if they inquire, I really simply say "It's a personal choice I made for how I want to live my life" and I leave it as that.
I find that the more I try to describe my choice and my reasons, the more defensive people get. So I try to just keep it short and sweet. It rarely comes up now.
GL!
This is where you may have gotten into trouble. If you said that to him, he might have interpretted that as you being judgemental on his eating habits. The number one lesson I learned when I became a vegetarian is that I never, ever comment on what other people eat. Ever. It's kept me out of a lot of hot water.
Further, the attitude that one person can't possibly make a difference is a huge reason why we are in such a global crisis.
I feel like some people will think you're attacking them just because you have a difference in opinion. I also believe that some people can come across as attacking when they just want to share their different opinion. Whenever I talk about something my friends think I'm crazy for doing (water birth for example..not preg though, I've just got it planned) I don't mention anything about their choices. I don't say that water birth is better than hospital birth. I don't quote statistics about epidurals or c-sections, I don't do a comparison at all. I make my point about what I want to do without mentioning AT ALL what choices they have made.
My conversation about being a veg (which I'm not btw) would go something like this:
"Oh, I really can't afford to buy organic/grass fed/ sustainable/free range meats so unfortunatley I have to abstain."
Also, you have to realize that some lifestyle require you to defend yourself just because of the negative ideas associated with them. I love Jesus, and the second people find that out they think that I am judgemental, naive, drinking the kool-aid, incapable of original/abstract thought, and that I have all kinds of the morals and values that simply don't represent me. People get lumped into these catagories that don't represent the individuals that believe in that lifestyle all the time, it comes with the territory when you're going against the grain.
I agree with this.
I think it can be difficult to explain being a vegetarian no matter your reasons for being one. What I say really depends on the person and how well I know them. Like someone else mentioned I usually say it was a personal decision on how to live my life. For people I know are vegetarians or are open to it, I'm willing to share the actual reasons.
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.
IMHO, this is the justification I get the most from anyone about any of the multitude of green activities I do, including being vegetarian. "Oh I'm just one person my changes can't mean anything." That's the easiest answer for them to give to keep living the way they want, because they've decided it's either too time-consuming/difficult/expensive to change. The real answer of "Yeah I'm concerned about the environmental impact of meat but I'm lazy and don't cook so I don't want to be veg" isn't as easy to admit, and doesn't sound as good, you know?
I usually don't mention that I'm vegetarian at all. I just got through a week in Kansas at an Air Force Base without eating meat and didn't have to tell anyone that, so I think anyone can. If someone directly asks me I say "I'm vegetarian for environmental reasons." If they ask another follow-up question, then I tell them why. They asked, so why wouldn't I answer? If they get defensive or annoyed, I usually change the subject unless I'm fired up by something they said.
Honestly, I don't think anyone is going to convert to vegetarianism because their friend/coworker told them how environmentall destructive meat is. Being veg is a huge life change, I think people have to figure it out on their own. DH went veg *twice* while were together and failed because I wasn't on board. This time it was my idea, and we're doing great. We've never been happier or healthier. After seeing how well we're doing (i.e., not wasting away or whatever), my BFF has starting cooking veg twice a week after hearing about all my great recipes. So other people can change. But I don't think articles or conversations about the impact of meat will do that. If people want to change they will, if they don't, they'll label you as preachy and avoid you, unfortunately.
People are intrinsically afraid of what they don't understand, like not eating meat. They've eaten meat their whole life and see nothing wrong with it. The fact that you do makes them afraid of their choices so they react rudely to you. It sucks, but I've developed a thin skin to it. I like to think of it as, "yeah you go ahead and finish that burger. Enjoy your cardiovascular disease."
I am a pescatarian, although I eat mostly vegetarian, but I have been eating this way (and was a strict vegetarian) for a very long time. I don't wear leather, and buy cruelty free, etc.
I answer people like that the same way that I do when talking politics in general or religion. I just say that I have my reasons for making the choice that is right for me, and hope that others respect that it is my personal pov and decision, just as I understand/respect that others don't necessarily agree/understand and may not make the same choices that I do.
I never berate people for their choices, since I hate being treated like that....and it's just rude.
You should tell him that the Red Cross has raised $8M in 2 days through individual text donations of $10 each.
I don't think you should have to lie about or skirt the fact (when it comes up) that you don't eat meat for environmental reasons. Yes, there's a way you can say that that sounds like you're passing judgment on everyone else, but if you phrase it the right way - i.e. "In my opinion, based on what I've read & learned, eating meat is not a particularly sustainable activity, so I've chosen not to do so for myself" - reasonable people should understand this is your own choice just like recycling or donating to the needy.
I think the problem might be this person is not so reasonable, and instead feels guilty about his uninformed choices, consciously or not.
I just started eating vegetarian a couple weeks ago after seeing Food Inc. Like you, I think it is easier to eat veg. than only organic and researching everything for meat quality, etc. However, prior to seeing the movie, I felt the same way as your friend... "I don't eat enough meat to make a difference."
Now, I look at the amount of medical issues people are having, increase in cancer, etc. and seeing and hearing about the hormones added to chickens and how the animals live (I'd heard... but seeing is believing), I needed to make a change. I think that I will be a healthier person eating this way and whether my husband does it or not, I will still be healthier. The same goes for you. Maybe your friend could understand it better that way. Also, even though my hubby is not eating vegetarian, if he is eating what I make, then he is eating less meat, which is also healthier for him. He may still eat meat sometimes, but definitely less.