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I'm glad our appt. is next week
Because I seriously wanted to beat DH up this morning. He's so whiny and hysterical sometimes, and I just don't feel like dealing with it.
On the one hand, he's all, "If you need help with something, just ask." I think he thinks it sounds really good, but he's not crazy about actually following through. Because this morning, as I was cleaning bottles and pump parts and trying to get out the door, I asked him to put the can opener away. Then, a few minutes later, I asked him to feed the Woozle. At which point I was accused of "always criticizing" him. The fvck? "Hey, can you feed the baby? She sounds hungry," =/= "You suck!"
This is why we need counseling. How much do you want to bet that he still hasn't asked the nanny/sitter if she can watch the Woozle during our appointment next week? There's something worth criticizing.
He has a meeting with some dude who works in the field he's trying to get into. Networking and such. I think he was nervous about that and was taking it out on me. Not cool.
Re: I'm glad our appt. is next week
he's feeling defensive about his inability to be a good husband and father. that's why he's interpreting everything as criticism.
that's what i do when i feel inadequate. i take everything out of context and place the blame on someone else. immature, yes. but at least i recognize i do it. that's the first step in stopping the behavior.
"How much do you want to bet that he still hasn't asked the nanny/sitter if she can watch the Woozle during our appointment next week? There's something worth criticizing."
I know it's frustrating, but if it's something he hasn't done, can you do it?
I'm sorry. ::hugs::
I agree with Stinky...I know it sucks that he hasn't taken the steps to get the appt. covered daycare-wise, but since this is so important, can you call and set it up?
kat, what you say makes sense. Thanks for posting that. It's helpful to see it from the other side, because to me, it sounded completely out of left field. If that's the case, I wish he would wise up and, like you, see that that's what's going on so he can knock it off.
I'm not saying I'm blameless here, far from it, but honestly, this sounded like a bunch of unnecessary drama.
Yeah, that's why I was thinking of it, because I was thinking that if he still hasn't done it, then I'd better get on it.
He volunteered to do this because he's the one who drops the Woozle off and picks her up from the sitter. The problem is that, when he volunteers to do something, if he doesn't do it and doesn't do it and then I finally step in and do it, he gets all defensive over it. "I was just going to do that!" "I was going to do it but you didn't give me a chance!" Yeah, yeah, yeah. W/e.
I think this also feeds into the convo about my enabling. We have a long, unhealthy pattern of him not doing what he says he'll do, me stepping in to prevent it from becoming a worse problem (i.e. calling the plumber when our shower is leaking into the ceiling below, and the spot keeps spreading), then being resentful b/c I feel like he doesn't pull his weight and I end up being responsible for everything.
As I said, very glad our appointment is next week.
sounds like a vicious cycle of laziness, enabling and resentment of H. I would say H resents himself as well for not following through, and takes it out on you as the enabler.
it's all kinds of fubar.
That it is, kat.