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Sister Drama Part 1

Alright, my boss is out for a meeting today, and Year End processing is finally over, so I will take some time to begin the saga of my sister's bad decisions. It's hard for me to condense it because there are so many things that make me shake my head, and I get so worked up about this subject, so I apologize for any rambling that might follow.

 

Back in 2006, my sister was engaged a guy who had drug/alcohol issues.  She also participated in those activities from time to time, so they had a circle of friends that, for lack of a better term, were not a positive influence.  They did not make many official wedding plans aside from a venue and a dress, and about a year into the engagement (Summer of 07) a lot of schit went down with her FI, and the result was him going into rehab for a month or so.

While he was in rehab, she was still hanging out with some of their drug friends who knew she was engaged, and started cheating on her FI with one in particular.   She either broke up with her FI when he was still in rehab or just after he got out, I don't remember details, and almost immediately  the guy that she was cheating with moved in, because prior to that he had been living with his mom.  He mooches off my sister for awhile, and she starts bringing him to family functions.  I dislike him immediately  because he knew my sister was engaged when they started getting together, so I don't think that says much about him as a person.

My mom does some research on the guy in the judicial database thing they have here, and he has an incredibly sketchy past including a ton of drug possession charges, theft, breaking and entering, and assault. He's also in late 30's, with no car or license, but drives my sister's car everywhere. 

Fast forward to a few months (March 2008) and my sister calls me to tell me that she's about 3 months pregnant. I'm the only person she's told so far, aside from BabyDaddy's mom.  She said it wasn't planned, but when I asked how it happened, she said that it's because she ran out of birth control pills and didn't have a chance to get more.  I'm not sure why a condom didn't occur to them, but whatever.  She finally tells my parents about 3 weeks later, and they are supportive, but since she had decided to keep the baby, we're all wondering WTF she is thinking.

During her pregnancy, BabyDaddy gets fired, but somehow also convinces my sister that they need to go from a 2 bedroom apartment to a 3-bedroom one so he can have a home office, even though he has no current job and she's a teacher and not making much money as it is.

About two weeks before her due date is when they wound up moving into their new place and while my parents and I are there helping her, she tells them that in a few days, they're going to get married at their church so they are married when the baby is born.  My sister is not a religious person, but what people think of her means a lot, and apparently they were getting a lot of judgement from people at church. I know BabyDaddy was also pushing the issue, which doesn't surprise me because it means that he's set for my sister to carry him for the foreseeable future.

The date they had picked (a Wednesday night) was the day after my grandmother was scheduled for a hip replacement surgery, and my mom mentions that to my sister and says that it would be really important to our grandmother if she could be there, since she's done so much for us over the years. My sister says she'll think about it.  None of us think they should be getting married, but at this point I still feel like "She's my sister and if this is the decision she's going to make, then I'm going to be there for her." 

A few days pass, and it was the morning of the wedding.  I gave my sister a call because I hadn't heard any details about what was going on time-wise, and when I asked her about it, she said "Oh, we're not going to do that anymore, we're doing it later."   I was SO RELIEVED,  and called my parents as soon as I got off the phone with her.  I was thinking that if she waited until after she gave birth, her pregnancy-brain would be gone and she might see the situation a little more clearly.

Little did I know...

~end of part 1~

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Re: Sister Drama Part 1

  • how is she a teacher when she's doing drugs?
  • I think she mostly was a weekend user.  Primarily weed, but she did use other things from time to time.  Aside from her pot-smoking she was never open about any of the other things with me, but our dad was a cokehead until we were in high school, so the signs were pretty recognizable.
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  • imagekatorigasuki:
    how is she a teacher when she's doing drugs?

    That jumped out at me, too.

  • don't most public schools have drug testing?  even private schools do, i thought.
  • I think that depends on the state/county. I believe around here they get tested prior to being hired but...I don't think that they are tested on a regular basis.
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  • I'm a biatch, because this: "She's my sister and if this is the decision she's going to make, then I'm going to be there for her."  Would never go through my mind. I would have CPS and the police on fcking speed dial. These people need to be nowhere near a child. Any child. Ever.
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