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Sister Drama Part 3
We're now at April 2009, about a month after it all comes out that my sister is married.
At some point during her pregnancy BabyDaddy did get another job, but quit/was fired again, and because my sister is the only one bringing in money, they are way late on their rent and bills and get an eviction notice. It also comes out that BabyDaddy has been stealing large amounts of money from my sister to buy drugs and since he doesn't have his own phone has been using her phone to make those calls, along with her car (when he has no license) for all his drug runs. After they get evicted, my parents say that my Sister and nephew can stay with them while she gets back on her feet, but BabyDaddy isn't allowed to stay there. BabyDaddy's mom also won't take him back in her house, and tells my sister that it's her fault that his problems are so severe because she didn't put him on her health insurance plan to get him into a good rehab place.
Since BabyDaddy has nowhere else to go, the pastor of their church does get him into this free rehab place in the city, and he's there for a few months, and we're all happy he's away from my sister. But then supposedly one day while he's out on a day pass he doesn't make it back in time for curfew, so he gets kicked out. So while he is couch-hopping, my sister somehow works out a deal with their pastor since he doesn't use the parsonage for them to live there (with a roommate) either rent-free, or with very little rent. I can't remember.
They live there for a few weeks and things are fine, then he starts stealing all of her money again, and using drugs pretty frequently. Then on Christmas my mom and I both noticed that my sister has bruise marks on her arm like somebody grabbed her. I had invited her over to my place a week later, and without me evening mentioning the bruises, she comes up with some story about how she tripped going down the stairs and hit the wall, and got a bruise. Trust me when I say that this was in no way a bruise someone could have gotten from a flat wall. You can see finger outlines on it.
I try to talk to her a bit, and apparently a week or two ago the pastor who is affiliated with the rehab place is trying to get him back in there, but as of yesterday he hasn't gone yet, and my sister was debating on pressing charges against him for all of the money that he's stolen from her. Last week she went to talk to BabyDaddy's mom about that, which I think was a stupid idea, and I don't think anything has progressed since then.
I'm going over to her place on Sunday, and potentially staying the night. I'm hoping that I'll have a chance to try and talk to her. I get frustrated with her a lot because she is responsible for part of this situation because of the choices she's made, but I don't think she knows how to get out of it and feels like she doesn't deserve more than this. And it breaks my heart for her and my nephew.
Re: Sister Drama Part 3
How is she as a mother? I mean, doesn't she want her son to have better than his schitty father? If she stays with this dude, her son is going to grow up seeing all this and think it's normal.
I agree with you completely. If you can believe it, she is a good mother - my nephew is her entire world. She has always been in bad relationships, and it also doesn't help that our dad was a drug addict for most of our childhood and adolescence. However, the big difference between BabyDaddy and our dad is that he was still able to maintain a job and take care of his bills, as well as me and my sister. But all that she sees is that my mom stuck it out with our dad in the worst of his addiction, and they were able to work through everything and my dad was able to get clean and has stayed clean for the past 11 years.
I think she is starting to realize how bad things are, since she is considering pressing charges, but I also think she's afraid of what BabyDaddy will do if she tries to assert herself in this situation. This is not her first abusive relationship, so she has a lot of insecurities/emotional damage that is keeping her with him.
I agree with you, and it is frustrating. That's why I was so happy when she was mentioning pressing charges, because it was coming from her, not somebody else. Since she has waited to do it though, I'm afraid that she's backing away from that and it probably won't happen.