Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML
Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my Boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML
Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Re: some fml's
Our electric bill was one great big FML this month. I opened it and thought that somehow they never received our payment last month. Nope, it was just that high.