Mexico Nesties
hmonkey
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
she wrote this all down and is still "now what?"
Dear Amy: When my husband and I divorced more than two years ago, I gave him nine months to move out of my house. He's still here.
He claims that he has no money, and he doesn't. He gambled it all away in the stock market after our divorce.
My ex-husband is rude. He belittles me and trashes me. He is manic depressive.
He wakes me at 3 a.m. to berate me about my shortcomings. He pays very little in living expenses; he just buys some groceries and pays the cable bill. I tell him daily to move out.
This morning he informed me that he would be applying for a prescription to smoke medical marijuana, which I told him I was 100 percent against.
I told him that he had to move out again, and he said that he wasn't going to.
Oddly, I feel guilty about getting a legal order to remove him.
I worry that he will be homeless.
I have been to three therapists about this issue, and my ex is still in the house.
The amount of guilt that I feel is amazing. Any suggestions on how I can shake this guilt and just get him out?
My friends and family think I am crazy and will not mention his name to me. I feel isolated. There is no one left to discuss this issue with.
-- Feeling Helpless
He claims that he has no money, and he doesn't. He gambled it all away in the stock market after our divorce.
My ex-husband is rude. He belittles me and trashes me. He is manic depressive.
He wakes me at 3 a.m. to berate me about my shortcomings. He pays very little in living expenses; he just buys some groceries and pays the cable bill. I tell him daily to move out.
This morning he informed me that he would be applying for a prescription to smoke medical marijuana, which I told him I was 100 percent against.
I told him that he had to move out again, and he said that he wasn't going to.
Oddly, I feel guilty about getting a legal order to remove him.
I worry that he will be homeless.
I have been to three therapists about this issue, and my ex is still in the house.
The amount of guilt that I feel is amazing. Any suggestions on how I can shake this guilt and just get him out?
My friends and family think I am crazy and will not mention his name to me. I feel isolated. There is no one left to discuss this issue with.
-- Feeling Helpless
Re: she wrote this all down and is still "now what?"
Crap...I Mean Crafts
So sometimes divorces don't take?
The first time someone wakes me up at 3am to berate me about my shortcomings, all guilt of tossing him in the street would magically go away.
I just a friendly gal looking for options.
DEAR HELPLESS: You don't need another therapist. You need the sheriff.
But you've learned a valuable lesson. Therapy doesn't work unless you want it to.
You've probably heard it all before -- that your husband is an abuser, and he won't stop as long as he has access to you. Part of this abuse cycle is the crushing guilt you feel.
Obviously, you could marshal your legal resources to get this person out of your home, but you won't do so. It might help to break the cycle if you leave -- temporarily.
Sever all contact long enough to get yourself together and confront the challenge of what you need to do. Find your strongest advocate -- either a professional, friend or family member -- and let this person assist you and keep you strong.
It would help if you could picture yourself in five years, supporting this carbuncle while he berates you and blows marijuana smoke in your face from the couch.
Is this what you want?
A counselor at the National Domestic Violence Hotline could connect you with local victim services. The Web site is ndvh.org or call 800-799-SAFE (7233).
That is a whole lotta stupid.