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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sorry but that's just how I feel ...
My parents are babysitting Alyssa Friday. We've never left her alone with anyone before except for each other - and naturally we're a little bit nervous but it's our anniversary and we want to go out for dinner. My mother is disappointed that Alyssa will be in bed and asked if I could keep her up a little longer so she can play with her. I explained to her that we weren't willing to do that because Alyssa needs to be in bed, she's barely 4 months old and is transitiong to really good sleep habits that we want to see continue. My mother was a little argumentative about that but accepted it. I thought that was rude. So now my sister asked if she can come over Friday to hang out w/ my parents when they are here. WTF. She's almost 30 years old for crying out loud ... and she wants to come over here and hang out with my parents while they are babysitting a sleeping baby?! So I just said that Alyssa was going to be getting ready for bed and then in bed, so I'd prefer that she come over another time when Alyssa is up and we're home. I am sure, from past experiences, that she will tell my mother and my mother will think I'm being ridiculous and overprotective and blah blah blah but I'm sorry - my parents are here to babysit my child, and I don't want extra people here ... if I'm being too controlling or whatever, so be it ... this is my child and I've never been away from her before and certainly never left her with people ... one step at a time. Hopefully it doesn't become a big huge deal but I just feel like, there's always a question or a protest with my family over how I do things w/ my daughter and it really irks me.
Re: Sorry but that's just how I feel ...
Could you have your parents over earlier so they could play with her, and then she'd still be in bed at her usual time? I usually try and do that. Plus it's nice to have someone watch them while you are getting ready!
Your sister....I have no advice there!
Oh my, in this way we have really similar personalities, Amye! My family (and others) always thinks that I am totally unreasonable when it comes to leaving my children with other people to care for them. I don't care, though!, they are MY kids and I happen to think that I am doing an OK job raising them MY WAY.
This has been a constant struggle with my family too, so I completely understand what you are saying! I don't really consider helping to be "really helping" if you have to be the one to bend over backwards to please the people that are supposedly helping you. You're a new mom and if your parents want to help you out for this occasion, they should help in whatever way is most going to really "help" you - right? There will be more flexibility in bedtimes, etc. (and your comfort level) as Alyssa gets older. Plus - are YOU really going to enjoy your night out *at all* if you know that Alyssa's bedtime routine is going to be off? To me - I'd rather not go at all than do that - KWIM?
Everytime Caroline was in the hospital for a surgery, there were similar "issues" with whoever in my family was watching Jakob (among other things too, though). Not so much bedtimes and things like that as he was older and more flexible with those, but more about how and what he ate specifically. One of the biggest arguments I can recall like this was over juice, and it's going to sound SO stupid (I laugh about it now.), but since they knew how I feel about the amount of sugar in full-strength juice and that I dilute it (or buy the brand that pre-dilutes it) and also limit how much he can have each day, I know it was deliberate. They simply do not agree with my philosophies for feeding him (as much natural and healthy food as possible - no wonder I turned out to be a COW).
So, while staying at my parents house Jakob apparently REFUSED to drink milk or water AT ALL (a load of crap) and so they give him full strength "juices" (even if I send the pre-diluted juice that I buy for him - they don't touch it) ALL DAY LONG. Respecting my wishes about the few things I specifically am particular about was apparently too much to ask! Just what I needed to be concerned about while I am at my daughter's bedside in the hospital (because they very well knew that it would cause me stress).......ugh!
The older he gets now, though, I've learned to ease up a LITTLE bit on these small things (In the grand scheme of life I can now recognize that the two days of drinking only full-strength juice he spent at grandma's really didn't affect him and make him unhealthy.). It's just the intentionally making my life harder/more stressful to make this point to me that leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.
I get it!!!
I dont think you are being a *** at all. You are standing by your decisions and that SHOULD be respected. They really should understand that Alyssa NEEDS her sleep and if she has been doing well with a schedule then thats that..no waking her up! I dont understand why some people refuse to get this. Its not like your spoiling her, you are trying to help get her into a good sleep cycle.
And you did you effort to offer to have them come earlier. Bummer that its more of an inconvenience to them.....its not like your asking to go out every week......this is the first time....geez