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need some happy thoughts

I could really use some happy thoughts coming my way right now...

I just got an e-mail from my Dad that my Grandma is giving up her house and going into assisted living (the good news is she is doing it willingly...she fell this weekend and couldn't get up on her own, the good news is she is not hurt and my parents were visiting and were able to help her).  She is in her 80s and of course this is to be expected, but I am just having a hard time imagining someone else living in her house.  It's the only house she has ever lived in since she moved to the US in the 1950's.  It's the house my Dad and aunts and uncles were raised in and where my cousins and I would get together to play, etc.  I know this is for the best, but it's just really rough right now (and I'm sure it's even rougher on her because she has to give up her dog).

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Re: need some happy thoughts

  • My thoughts are with you! I totally understand. It was so hard when we had to sell my great-grandparents' house after they died because someone else lives there. And I had a really hard time when my grandparents moved into a retirement community. When I was born they were in their 40's, so it was a shock to me to see them move out of their house, the house my dad and his brothers and sisters grew up in, into a retirement community, but my aunt and uncle (their son) bought it, so it stayed in the family. It is hard to see loved ones get old and need more assistance, becoming less independent. It makes me sad.
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  • Im sorry to hear that but understand what you are going through.  My grandparents were in the same boat, they are in their 80s as well.. however, they chose to go into the lutheran village to a cottage (all 1 floor)...it was getting too hard for my Grandma to go downstairs to the basement for laundry.... they knew the house needed a lot of work and would be hard to sell, which is when the market was bad. It was their first home, built in 1950, my Mom (whom I dont speak with) and my Aunt (who is more so my Mom now) grew up there and I spent a lot of time there as a child..We werent really ready to buy a home, but they offered it to DH and I and we bought it.. it all happened alot sooner than we planned, but it worked out fine, and we worked on it for a year and decided to get married then... thank goodness for that happening, or who knows when things would have fell into place!  But this past July/August, my Grandmother had a heart attack and they had to do open heart... she's had a slow recovery, and she's fell a few times at home since. They put her in the assisted living area to see how she'd do there, but she's the same as she was at home, so my Aunt is going to move her back to the cottage with my Grandfather since she's doing the same things at home and not being active... save them money there..

    But I understand how hard it is to go through things like that.. its hard when you have to see them give up on things they've had for so long and that kind of thing.  Hang in there.. just remember that maybe its for the best.  I just hope that someday DH and I can live together in our home (wherever we are then) until the end.... his Grandfather did that and I think we'll be the same way, wanting our independence until the end together.  :)   Hang in there!

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  • Thanks ladies...I know this is something most of us go through and it finally dawned on me last night what was making it so hard...we moved around A LOT when I was little, so my Grandma's house was the one place that was consistent, never went away etc, and now it is....I know it will get better, but appreciate the support!
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  • I'm a sentimental girl myself, I know when we had a similar experience, we wanted a way to acknowledge the memories.

    -  maybe you could take some cool pictures in black and white- (interesting angles, trees in the backyard, meaningful places where something happened in the family's past).

    - maybe you could frame the key or something

    -maybe you could replace something like a door knob with one from the house

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  • aww, lots of happy thoughts, and lots of *hugs* your way.  I'll keep grandma (& your family!) in my prayers. 

    My grandpa just went into a home for retired firemen since he had a stroke before my grandma died and can't take care of himself.  I know it helps when we bring my little dog, Coconut, to see him when we visit.  Would you be able to bring a pet to see your grandma to make her feel better now and then?

  • Hugs and good thoughts!
    My sweet boy
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  • I'm sorry you're going through this.  I had a somewhat similar experience with my grandma.  Changes like that can be a challenge for everyone.  Sending good thoughts to you and your family.
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