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for Kuus re: parenting philosophies
Sorry for the new post, but the old one is way down the page now.
"I can see both your points on this one. It's a matter of perspective on whose whims and natural patterns are more important and who should be the one who caters. There's an equally good argument for the kid fitting the parent's schedule and for the parent working around the kid's natural rhythms."
With all due respect, I have to disagree with you here. If DD were older, told DH she didn't feel like going to the Y, and he said too bad, I would support his decision. But sleep is a basic need, and at 6 months DD needs to sleep when she's tired, not when DH runs out of more interesting things to do and gets around to it.
It's frustrating because she a) gets tired at regular, predictable times throughout the day, and b) never naps for very long. So it requires a minimum of flexibility on his part to ensure that her basic needs are taken care of. And when he's not willing to make that effort and DD suffers as a result, it makes me angry.
Re: for Kuus re: parenting philosophies
i tend to agree, to a point.
an occasion disruption of a normal routine is not the end of the world.
but if this is a consistent issue, then it speaks to him not realizing that DD's needs come first.
i would also recommend, that when he does do this, you wash your hands of the whole thing. no point in getting angry at him. just let him deal with the consequence of her missing a nap.
kat, it is an ongoing problem. You can tell the days that DH has had her by her crabbiness and poor nighttime sleep. The last time he did this, we discussed it calmly and I rationally explained why skipping her naps is not a good for her or us. He nodded and agreed...and did it again.
As for washing my hands of the whole thing, it breaks my heart. I don't even get to spend an hour with her before I leave for work--some days, like yesterday, she's still sleeping when I leave and I don't see her at all in the morning. So to come home, find her crabby and fussing, and wash my hands of it means that I don't get to spend any time with her.
Oh, and kuus: no, a lot of kids can't just sleep wherever at this age. Some can, most can't. DD was about 6 weeks when she outgrew that. At about 4 mo., kids are fully aware of their surroundings, and most benefit from a predictable naptime routine--not being left at Y babysitting with the expectation that they'll suck it up.
I would give anything to be able to take 3 naps/day like DD.
Strangely, I agree with Kuus. I trained my kids to sleep anywhere, anytime. Buckets, strollers, in the grocery store, post office, bank. None of my kids were wailers, though, so a binky and a little jostle of the stroller or rocking of the bucket usually put them down without much fuss. If I'd have been tied to the house for naps during their babyhood I'd have had to give them up or go insane. Stuff needs to get done and the drycleaning wasn't going to happen magically.
eh, I think that's gotta be somewhat individual to the kid.
When I saw docs and they asked about my sleep problem, they asked when they started...
When I was 2 months old. I remember them from age 6 on. According to my parents, I never did NOT have sleep problems. It's just how some people are wired. You can 'train' me all you want, I'll still have sleep problems.
Heffa I'm completely on your side. Even if life requires us not to be home during thier nap time we are aware of thier needs. We try to time errands so thier nap time coinsides with drive time so they can sleep in the car or that we make sure to have an extra blanket for the stroller so we can create a "tent" while we are out and about.
It really takes very little effort and our lives don't suffer becuase of it but rather it's easier.