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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
IHO Parenting
How were you disciplined as a kid?
Re: IHO Parenting
This is very similar. I was spanked more than twice. The guilt was as bad as the punishment, maybe worse.
I was yelled at.
I won't be raising my children the way I was raised.
Time-out, which at that point was "Go to your room"; spankings when we were young (ie, under 5 or so); grounding when we were older.
Pretty much what I've used with Bacon, and I like to think she's turning out okay.
My parents were very strict. We were always in trouble and were spanked (pretty hard) a few times each week. It's like my parents never really figured out how to properly discipline us, though, because we went through a myriad of techniques: spanking, standing in the corner, writing (thousands) of sentences, constant groundings, taking away toys/privileges, they did it all. And yet nothing worked.
I'm still amazed I turned out somewhat normal.
Yelling.
Spanking.
Grounding.
Taking away privileges (i.e. no Nintendo).
Lots of negative reinforcement, not so much positive.
This. Also, the lecture that accompanied was always pretty bad. My parents saying they were disappointed was worse than some of their punishments.
I was a 'sensitive' kid...99% of the time, just being yelled at (which didn't usually involve raised voices) was enough for me. when I was small, just removing me did a lot.
My dad was usually a (wise) believer in 'natural consequences'. My mom was...crazy.
Corporal punishment was rare. Although, the only time my dad used a belt on any of his kids?
me.
the sensitive one. Because sensitive doesn't preclude stubborn as hell. (might nt be what I'd have done but...I can't say it wasn't warranted)
I remember my mother as always consistent so she very rarely had to resort to spanking. I was pretty quiet kid anyway, so that made it easy for her too.
If I did get out of line, mom had a belt taped into a loop with masking tape with my name written on the tape. On the rare occasions I did get out of hand she'd send *me* to get my belt. Of course, I could never find it, but that was usually the end of any trouble-making.
Same here, I remember being spanked big time like 2 or 3 times, but going to my room or get swats here and there, etc. was the norm. I am pretty ok as an adult so it seemed to work.
yelling, spanking, yelling, guilting, yelling
Lots of yelling, some spanking.
When we were young, the most common punishment was no ice cream after dinner, or no soda with dinner, or (horrors!) both. Occasionally we were sent to our rooms, but Time Out wasn't really part of the vocabulary. If we did something really bad we were spanked. Not often, but often enough that I remember it vividly.
When we were older (high schoolish) the punishments were a lot more subversive. It was all about shaming you into submission. My mom gave me the silent treatment for an entire summer once. We were also "put on restriction" rather than grounded, but it was basically the same thing.
Crap...I Mean Crafts
Depended on the offense. usually it was spanked, slapped or grounded. But if I didn't take the compost out, I would find it in my bed. And if I didn't put enough pepper in the soup it would be thrown at me. If I talked back my dresser top would get swept off (I had a huge dresser and tons of trinkets, so it was always a huge mess)
But at least I know how not to parent.
If we didn't pick up they took away our toys/clothes/etc. If we talked back we lost privileges- phone, TV. I was grounded twice- once for a C and once for having a boy over when my parents weren't home. The boy was HUUUUUGE.
My mom would have peed herself with joy if I had a boy in my room - and then told me I'd better lose some weight to keep him.
I did have boys in my room - and went into theirs - but since I was such "a nice girl, but I don't like you like that", it wasn't anything to get excited about.
Damn, I'm bitter today.
You should have done what I did, and made out with boys who didn't yet know they were gay. :-/
"My mom would have peed herself with joy if I had a boy in my room - and then told me I'd better lose some weight to keep him.
I did have boys in my room - and went into theirs - but since I was such "a nice girl, but I don't like you like that", it wasn't anything to get excited about.
Damn, I'm bitter today."
This was actually one of my mother's big paranoias. She was forever accusing me of slutty behavior. Strangely, I was the LESS promiscuous sister. I didn't come home drunk at 14, I didn't get pregnant at 16, I didn't become a crackhead but I was the "problem child." I'll share a little of that bitterness today, b. Not much, though. I've mostly gotten over it and I mostly know my parents did the best they could with what they knew.