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An oldie
I know I've told this before, but it's fitting today.
My brother was diagnosed with asthma when we were in 5th grade. I was always jealous of him because he was always sick, which in my mind = him getting attention. And we all know I'm a giant AW.
One day, my class was lined up to go to lunch. I was in the back since I brought my lunch, and decided it was a good time to have an asthma attack.
So I started this gawdawful wheezing.
Everyone turned and looked and my teacher asked if I was alright.
I shook my head and - between wheezes - said, "I'm having an asthma attack!"
She saw right through it and sent me to lunch with my classmates. But I, too, have always been stubborn. So I wheezed through my peanut butter sandwich. I wheezed through recess. I wheezed for the next couple hours until my teacher, undoubtedly sick of trying to teach over my noise, sent me to the nurse's office.
The nurse lived next door to us and was a friend of my mom's. She called her and said, "Uh... Stinky's having an "asthma attack.""
She told me to take a nap, but I knew that if I fell asleep, the wheezing would stop. And I didn't want that. So I faked it.
My mom finally came and got me and took me home. When we got there, I *did* take a nap, and when I awoke... LO! I was CURED!
Later that night, my parents called me into the den. My dad was sitting there with a Bible. We were not religious people, so I didn't know WTH was going on.
He told me to put my hand on the good book and swear that I hadn't been faking.
I sat down.
Put my hand on it.
And said...
"I... I CAN'T!!!" and dissolved into a puddle of tears.
They told me I was grounded. But I found out years later that they sent me upstairs so they could properly laugh at me.
I'll never live that story down. Ever.
Re: An oldie
This has always been my parental Achilles heel. My kids have always known that if I find some poor behavior sufficiently funny, my punishments can be wheedled down. I have to be very careful about that. Sometimes we have to talk about punishments later, after I've properly collected myself. On the upside, my kids can be hilarious in stressful situations.