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I feel like I am running on empty
or less than that...Austin just won't nap 
- this has been going on for days now - I've tried running him ragged, every different kind of soothing technique, lying down with him, nursing to sleep, giving him a paci, formula...you name it, I have tried it. With still getting up 2x during the night for him to eat, I'm just so drained. I don't even know what to type and just feel like bursting into tears. I brought him out to BRU this afternoon to wear him out - on the way back he fell asleep in his car seat for 30 minutes (I managed to get him inside and placed him on the kitchen floor) and that was it. I was happy to get out - BUT lucky Tom got the whole house to himself....and again, I got stuck with Austin.
Sometimes I just feel like I don't have anything left in me.
Re: I feel like I am running on empty
Exactly....Ask Tom to take him for a bit...just so you can have a second to breathe. Even if it's just so you can pop in the shower or take a 30 min nap....if you don't you are going to feel even worse tomorrow when he is not home to help you out!Ok, let me start this off by saying i am in NO WAY trying to put Tom down as a father, so I hope you dont get that idea. Alot of us have been in your shoes before so i am going to word this the best that I can.
TOM NEEDS TO DO THESE THINGS, Lisa. He is Austin's dad. You need to put your foot down and tell him enough is enough. I know he works really hard so that you can stay home with the baby, but mom's need a break too. Even if it is for a little while. There is no reason why you could not feed Austin, and then hand him to Tom while you nap, shower, relax, etc. Tom is a grown @$$ man who needs to take on more responsibility when it comes to Austin. Expecially now where he can obviously see how much Austin is not sleeping and how tired you are.
Maybe you should have a talk with him, kind of like how Amye did with her DH. Start off with telling him how you appreciate the things he does (maybe list some) but that you really would like some help with XYZ every now and again. It is silly that we need to stroke a mans ego, but unfortinuately, we need to do that sometimes. He really does need to help you a little more when you are worn out. Maybe he just doesnt see it, who knows. i am not there with you guys so i have no idea, but the point is MOMMY is going to break down soon if he doesnt!!! Good Luck Lisa! I hope this didnt make you mad, as i was not trying to put him down.
I learned this the HARD WAY, My ex hubby was like that, he was the greatest father ( still is im just not nice to him right now lol) he never knew how i felt. One day i just broke down crying in exhustion, overwelming and frustration. Of course he got upset with me because i allow it go for this long.
No MEN no one, our mother, father sisters anyone will ever take care of our babies the WAY we as a mother want them to do. Sometimes you need to let it go and let them take over for just 30 mintues or so. Its okay, you deserved a big break and you are a great mother! Give Austin to tom and tell him you need a break for a bit, he will know what to do eventually!
ps
dont make me come over and make you take a break ;-)
I told you that would happen,, good!! i said it once i will say it again, you are a great mom!!! take a break is OKAY!!
If it makes you feel any better, Bill and I def. DON'T do things the same way, but I know that Mason is well taken care of when I go to work, and that is more important to me....Good luck sweetie!
I agree - it sounds like you need an occasional break now and then, Lisa!
I understand what you mean about Tom feeling scared to do something wrong with Austin (heck- I'm sure that you remember feeling that way too when he was a newborn), it's completely natural. You got over it because you had no choice and if that's the case for him, he will too! My DH was that way too at first with Jakob and then we wet through the same thing all over again after Caroline was born because now there were twice as many kids to screw up! LOL!
The thing is, Austin is his son and this is 2008. Men now get involved in raising their children (praise the Lord for that!). I know that when DH and I have these discussions, I tell him that he has two choices (and he knows that I'm half joking, but it gets the point across), he can either be responsible for the kids by himself for a few hours here and there once in awhile so that I can get some time to myself or he can be responsible for them full-time when I check in to the looney bin!
Take him up on his offer of taking the day off this week and take that day to just go and do some things for YOU. Do something that you enjoy, and sit and have lunch in peace BY YOURSELF! You'll be amazed at how recharged you are when you come back home at the end of the day! Also - your husband will no doubt have a new appreciation for how difficult your job is.
Lisa,
I'm glad that Tom offered to take Tuesday off to take Austin. This should have happened when Austin was born. You definately need to get out and go take a nap or grab lunch w/ a friend or anything. I hope that Tom can continue to help you out. Just because you SAH w/ Austin it doesn't mean you have to always be the one w/ him. Tom needs to share the responsibility.
Lisa, I am so glad to hear that Tom is going to take the day to be w/ Austin. He needs to do this. You sound soo tired and worn out and that really worries me. He is Austin's father. Austin isn't his charge to babysit every now and again ... he is your husband and Austin's dad and that makes him automatically equally in charge of Austin, whether or not he's scared to be alone w/ the baby. For crying out loud. This is a baby we're talking about ... they aren't that frightening! I just don't understand men at all who think that they can't take care of a baby. Give me a break. I am not ragging on Tom at ALL and I hope you know that. I just can't believe my ears sometimes at the things I hear. I would be so beyond pisssed if Eugene handed me any of that baloney. Perhaps I am fortunate (or he is) - he grew up helping out w/ his nieces and nephews. He has been changing diapers and feeding babies since he was 11 years old. Some of the things I've learned, I've picked up from Eugene. So it could be I'm in a more unique situation than others, but I still think that men need to be a part of the process. Like Laura said, this is 2008.
Don't let Tuesday be your only day. Stand your ground and insist that he become an equal partner.
Ditto to what everyone else said. He will figure it out, just as you had to do when he went back to work and yoou were home alone with Austin from the get go. IF he cries, he cries and Tom will figure out what works for him. Even if he doesn't do it your way, Austin will be safe and cared for.
I am a firm believer that you cannot be a good or effective mother/caretaker when you are sleep deprived, stressed and in the emotional state you're in now. You NEED a day to refresh and recharge. I would take it one step further and tell Tom not to call you with little crises that come up unless there is a true emergency, b/c that will not allow you the peace that you need.
Hang in there and Good Luck. You're doing a fantastic job but you cannot do it alone. And yoou shuld not be doing it alone. As my MIL always says - there is a reason why it takes 2 to make a baby - thosse same 2 need to be involved in the care and upbringing of that child. If women were supposed to take care of babies alone, it owould only take one to make one. Ha!
I'm going to agree with what everyone else has said.. Tom needs to help out! I am sure that Tom IS a good dad, and his lack of help probably isn't because he is being mean its most likely that he is scared and not too sure what to do with Austin. But he NEEDS to figure it out. You can't always be there, and you shouldn't alway be there. Tom is his parent too. So maybe one day this weekend you can kind of have Tom take care of Austin while you are home and let him figure things out. You'll be there incase he really needs you, but let Tom be the primary caretaker. I think once he gets used to Austin and what to do, he'll be more willing to take him places and have "father son time". Its also good for Austin to learn other ways to soothe himself besides mommy's boobs! = )
You need a well deserved break and you shouldn't be afraid to speak up if you need that! I agree with Lauri, you can't be a good parent if you are overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted all the time! Remember everything you are feeling Austin can sense.
GL!!! = )