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my friends suck.

Pretty much, my friends suck lol I'll try to explain the situation with a little introduction....

My name is sam but all of my friends call me murphy. i am 21 and recently got engaged to my best friend. he is 23 :) we just put an offer in on a house in greenwood that got accepted and are now trying to make our way to homeownership! I have a full time job as the director of administration for a very small company.

I have been through a lot in my life, my mom got married an excessive amount of times. i am just now beginning a distant relationship with my real father who has been in and out of my life over the years and my mom and step dad are both bipolar. I am the youngest of 7 and my family is pretty much a game of politics that i find unnecessary.

I have learned better than most that its responsibility that makes you an adult, not maturity. i grew up really fast with all of the things that have been placed on my shoulders, I mean, im 21 getting married, owning a home, and running a company.....well, needless to say, nobody else is. 

my best female friend moved to FL, and i never get to see her, i can talk to her, but it doesnt replace having the good times and memories of hanging out all the time. other than that, my friends are guys.

Basically, the reason that im posting this is because all of my female friends suck. lol they are super immature and all they want to do is drink and party. Which i love doing both, but i have responsibilities and i cant get schwasted all the time.... i dont want friends that are full of drama, i have real problems, real matters that dont involve who "peggy" is dating these days, ya know?

How in the world do you meet new friends, when youre a college age, that dont have the college mentality?  I would love to have a FRIEND, not a party partner. 

thanks :) 

IAmPregnant Ticker

Re: my friends suck.

  • I completly understand where you are coming from! DH and I have been together since I was 21, and we were in a long distance relationship that ment a lot of travling back and forth...most of my friends gave me a hard time about not being around more.

    Fast forward 7 years, and I love my life, have an amazing husband, job and home--and many of the same friends who gave me a hard time. Some are less in my life, but most of them grew up and we remained friends. So hope is not lost!

    But in the mean time, I always give these three same suggestions to meet new people--DH and I have moved twice and I have met great friends these ways: 1. search for a church together--I don't mean this to be offensive if you are not a religious sort--this is just what we did. 2. Volunteer! It sounds like you are busy--but find some group with a cause you are passionate about (animals, kids, the environment, etc) you are really likely to find someone with common interests. 3. Spend time with co-workers outside of work. DH and I are both lucky to work with cool people, but I do understand sometimes you can't stand the people you work with.

    I hope these are helpful! good luck!!

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  • Well thank your for your suggestions :)

    I am one of 2 women that work in my company, the other woman is my older sister, who is my assistant lol

    However, I am wanting to breed dogs, and i LOVE animals, so if i can find the time, which i make my own work schedule, so im sure ill be able to, i could certainly enjoy volunteering at a help shelter for animals. I also enjoy cake decorating, (im getting really good) so ive been thinking of taking the fondont and gum paste class, ive pretty much taught myself most of it, but the  class is only $15 and i can learn a lot of small techniques or tricks that i never knew about.

    my fiance travels for work, everyday he is in a different city, so the only gaurenteed time we have together is on the weekends. he does often get days off during the week, but we never know about them until that day, it makes it really hard to do things with him! so im just mainly alone....it sucks, but ill definitely give these things a try and see where i end up! 

    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • I wish I had great advice but I don't.  I moved here a year and a half ago and have met no one.  I work out of my home office so that doesn't help.  I am older than you but I know how hard it is.....I hope things turn around for you
  • I'm sorry your having such a hard time finding friends, I think your idea of taking classes is a great way to meet new people. If your interested in any type of dance you can go do zumba classes, they have them on the north side where you pay by the week. So if FI is home on night of your class you don't loose that money, you can just go a different night, or skip that week. I know the local Joannes does cake decorating classes that might be alot of fun for you.

    Please please do not start breeding dogs. There are several rescues/shelters in Indianapolis/Greenwood that can use a volunteer. I think once you spent a day in a shelter you would understand the great need for homes for these animals, and the last thing that is needed, is for more puppies to need homes too. I'm really not trying to be offensive, or slam your ideas. Just something to think about.

    Good luck!

  • Hi Sam!  I'm not a regular here, but more so on the IN Babies board.  I just popped in here for a peek, I've "known" some of these ladies since planning my wedding in 2006.  I actually recognize your pic from FB, I am FB friends with Jay, he graduated with my sister and BIL.  I congratulated Jay on the purchase of the house on FB the other day, you'll be living nearby.  Maybe the four of us could go out sometime. 
  • I've had the same problem over the years. I don't drink at all, and as a young person, it is hard to find friends who will invite you for social outings that don't involve booze.

    Make sure your hobbies are well known. It helps that all my friends know I'm into art. Therefore, we go to art galleries together. We also see movies, visit museums, go rollerblading, etc. There's tons to do around here. Just make plans that don't involve a bar, and go do it.

    I also invite them over to my house a lot, where there is no booze served, and it's made clear that I don't allow it in my home. They are welcome to drink at other times in their social life, but I just ask that they don't do it at my house. I also ask that if we are invited out, that I am allowed to drive separately so that I may leave at any time. I refuse to be a designated driver, because the favor will never be repaid.

    I also suggest that you get over the idea of having friends that are your age. There's nothing wrong with having older friends.

  • imageMegan0926:

    Please please do not start breeding dogs. There are several rescues/shelters in Indianapolis/Greenwood that can use a volunteer. I think once you spent a day in a shelter you would understand the great need for homes for these animals, and the last thing that is needed, is for more puppies to need homes too. I'm really not trying to be offensive, or slam your ideas. Just something to think about.

    Good luck!

    This!  No no no no no...if you love animals you won't breed them.  Plus you might end up the "crazy lady with all of the animals".  HA!  There's always a need for wonderful foster homes too...maybe something to consider.  But when I used to volunteer at the shelters and adopt-a-thons I met a lot of people...it's great because you already have one thing in commont...your love for animals.

    I do wish you luck too...everyone needs "their person"...I have mine and I really can't imagine if she moved away. 

     

  • Congrats on putting your offer in on your house!!  I moved here almost 6 years ago and my husband and I just sold our house in Indy in October and bought a new one in Greenwood.  He's lived here all his life.

    I had to grow up quickly as well.  My mom was in to a lot of stuff she shouldn't have been and I didn't have a lot of consistency.  My dad and I are close though.

    It's hard meeting people here, I've found.  I had more success when I became a mom through online groups and stuff like that.  Maybe you could try meetup.com to find people who like similar activities?  Or a book club at the library if you're in to that.

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  • I know how you feel, we left all our Indiana friends behind when we moved to Boston, and Now that we are back they are all gone :(

    I went out with some girls and couples I met on Craigslist a couple times, and we still talk on FB but thats really it.  CL is full of a lot of trash so its hardly worth looking for non sexual friends there.

     I second Meetup.com.  I think you find the best friends when you least expect it, not when you are looking.  GL

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