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s/o to moving - forever home?

After I read this...

imageMauiWedding08:
I love our house and with some additions it could be a forever house (especially if we buy a summer lot/cabin/home)

...I started thinking, and I'm not sure I really believe in the concept of a forever home. Maybe it's because I moved sooo much as a kid that I tend to view places as sort of impermanent, but I actually find it a kind of odd concept, especially if you're buying in your 20s or 30s - I don't think I know anyone (not even my grandparents or even great-grandparents) who bought one single house in their 20s or 30s and lived in it for the rest of their lives, or even up until retirement, for that matter.

I guess I view it as you never know what the future will bring...what if one of us gets an amazing job offer and we want to move interstate? Or the house that we might consider "forever" now doesn't end up meeting our needs in another 10 years? Or when we retire, we may want to live somewhere else or shift into a different style of living? When we were house hunting, I was never looking for a "forever" home - just one that we'd be happy in and that would suit our expected needs for the next 5-10 years.

Have any of you bought a house that you'd consider a forever home? (To me, "forever" means just that - not 10 or 20 years, but at LEAST until retirement, if not the rest of your life.) Did you hunt for and buy it knowing that's what you were looking for and intending to never move again?

Re: s/o to moving - forever home?

  • imageredshoegirl:

    After I read this...

    imageMauiWedding08:
    I love our house and with some additions it could be a forever house (especially if we buy a summer lot/cabin/home)

    ...I started thinking, and I'm not sure I really believe in the concept of a forever home. Maybe it's because I moved sooo much as a kid that I tend to view places as sort of impermanent, but I actually find it a kind of odd concept, especially if you're buying in your 20s or 30s - I don't think I know anyone (not even my grandparents or even great-grandparents) who bought one single house in their 20s or 30s and lived in it for the rest of their lives, or even up until retirement, for that matter.

    I guess I view it as you never know what the future will bring...what if one of us gets an amazing job offer and we want to move interstate? Or the house that we might consider "forever" now doesn't end up meeting our needs in another 10 years? Or when we retire, we may want to live somewhere else or shift into a different style of living? When we were house hunting, I was never looking for a "forever" home - just one that we'd be happy in and that would suit our expected needs for the next 5-10 years.

    Have any of you bought a house that you'd consider a forever home? (To me, "forever" means just that - not 10 or 20 years, but at LEAST until retirement, if not the rest of your life.) Did you hunt for and buy it knowing that's what you were looking for and intending to never move again?

  • Ok so I don't really know how to "quote" things yet and the Nest won't let me delete that last comment.  Basically I agreed with your statement: Maybe it's because I moved sooo much as a kid that I tend to view places as sort of impermanent, but I actually find it a kind of odd concept, especially if you're buying in your 20s or 30s.

    I didn't move a ton when I was a kid but enough that a home for a long period of time sounds weird to me.  Now that I am in the military, I haven't been in the same place longer than two years since I was 17.  I can't imagine - at this point - living in one place forever (much less 10 years). 

  • I think because I moved a lot, I want a forever home. Or at least until retirement and then we can downsize. I HATE moving after having moved so many times in my life. I just don't wanna do it too many more times because it's such a pain.
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  • Well, we bought our current house with an eye on the school district. We would be happy here until the kids are in high school. Wouldn't want to switch them. But then... The house that once seemed so big is slowly becoming smaller and smaller! That said, we LOVE four location (walkable to metro, downtown Bethesda) and we LOVE our neighborhood. So I think that unless we decided to move up to NJ/NY to be closer to DH's family, we're here at least until then. But you never know!
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    Malia & Dave & Alexa
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  • I don't believe in a forever home...at least not yet.  The longest I've lived in one home was from age 5-13.  After that we moved to another home for 3 years and then 1 more house for a year before I was off to college in 1992.  From 1992-2008 I moved about every 12-18 months!  I am not kidding.  It was all within the SF Bay Area and mostly South Bay Area.  And that is just my permanent residence...I was also traveling a lot back then too.

    Since moving to Tulsa, we've been in the same home since June 2008...which is the longest stretch for J and I in one place let alone one place together.

    We do hope to buy a home soon that will get us through at least the next 7-10 years of growing our family.

  • imageredshoegirl:

    I actually find it a kind of odd concept, especially if you're buying in your 20s or 30s - I don't think I know anyone (not even my grandparents or even great-grandparents) who bought one single house in their 20s or 30s and lived in it for the rest of their lives, or even up until retirement, for that matter.

    I would sooo buy an "until retirement" home, if I could afford it. I don't know many 20 or 30 year olds that can afford a house that could possibly meet the needs of a future family, right off the bat. I bought a 2 bedroom condo three years ago. That was all I could afford. If I could afford a 4 bedroom house with 2.5 bathrooms and a finished basement then (or even now), I would have (and hopefully that would have lasted me for a looooong while).

    I need to start playing the lottery.

  • I didn't move a lot as a kid, but I did move a ton in my 20s (pretty much every year), and I'm sick of it!  I want to stay put! 

    MH and I consider our current home to be our forever home, at least until retirement.  It's not that we're closed off to other possibilities....certainly a job may take us elsewhere, but I doubt it.  Barring a major job change (or winning the lottery!) we plan on staying.  It has everything we would look for:  4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a garage, an excellent school system, wonderful community feeling, great location (near major expressways and a rail station into the city, but not so near that we can hear/see them), four parks, the community center, the bookstore, library, and Whole Foods all within in walking distance.  I guess I see no reason to move.  Sure, I'd love a bigger kitchen and a slightly bigger yard, but what we have is fine.  Moving is such a hassle, and I don't see us finding anything to suit us better in the future.

     

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  • I forsee two or three homes being bought in our future, but we also want to move to England for a short time (maybe 2 years), and will probably rent while we're there.
  • We don't have a house yet, but I definitely want a forever home.  I don't think it will be our first purchase, unless we get incredibly lucky, but eventually I want to buy/build a house that will be ours for the rest of our lives.

    I get very attached to places.  I'm horrified by the thought of my dad and stepmom selling my childhood home, and I haven't lived there for 11 years.

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  • we just bought a house in Sept & we said how it could be our forever home, but we could also sell in 5 - 10 years.  I guess like pp said, you never know what is around the corner.  The house is definitely big enough for 2 kids but if we had more, I am not so sure.  I do agree that moving is a complete pain so if there wasn't really good reason to move, I would probably rather not!
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  • imagelelekay:

    It's not that we're closed off to other possibilities....certainly a job may take us elsewhere, but I doubt it.  Barring a major job change (or winning the lottery!) we plan on staying.  It has everything we would look for: 

     

    I think this is kind of how I feel.  We would move if one of us got a better job, but I really think we are both ready to settle where we are now.  I use to think I wanted to transition to a job that would require me to be in a bigger city, but after almost 3 years at my current job I am realizing the laid back quality of life this rural job provides probably suits me better.

    When I was a kid I always just moved - and usually because it was an upgrade so I figured we would do the same thing.  But I can see MH's point too.  The house we have now has so much of what we want that we should really consider the benefit of staying there long term.  I guess that thought did kind of cross our minds when we bought the house - we could have picked something cheaper but decided to go with something that met our immediate and future needs and didn't make us sacrifice other things on our wish list.

  • I'm not sure if we're in our forever home.  I think we're in a great home that we can afford now and that will definitely work for a long, long time.  Even if we have 2-3 kids.

    When our kids are a little older, I could see us moving into a bigger house, but that depends on being able to afford it.  We don't have the luxury of great public schools here, so I imagine our income may likely go to private school tuition rather than upgrading our space.

    And we definitely talk about moving somewhere else for retirement.  Either a more remote and picturesque spot or downsizing.  My ILs just moved into a nicer home for retirement and our grandparents downsized to a condo, so I think you just have to see what your needs are and what your financial situation allows for at various stages in life.  It's hard to plan for forever when you're so young!

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  • It's probably b/c I never moved once until I was 19 that I want a forever home someday. My parents have lived in the same house for 25 years and aren't planning on moving at all that I know of. I know DH and I probably aren't going to find our "forever" home for at least another 10 years, and we've talked about moving to a different part of the state after retirement. But, I think we would still keep the home we raise our family in. I don't want to move that many times in my life b/c I hate it and I loved always being in the same house as a kid. I want my children to have the sense of home and security too.
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  • When I think forever home, I think DREAM home. If I could have a house on the beach in Hawaii, that would be my forever home. If I could have a house in LaJolla, CA, that would be my forever home. I love LaJolla b/c it has a good mix of the beach, the arts, activities, shopping and friendly people. I don't see how I can get there financially.

    I always looked at housing as going with school or work. My parents moved based on my dad's job. When I went to college, I got a different apartment every year... stayed with my parents and worked in the summer. When I graduated, I rented. I had a big move across the country b/c of the job market. I found an apartment that was convenient for work. I built a custom house with all of things that we'd want for a family (this was with evil husband #1). We planned to live there through the kid years. That plan crumbled when he had an affair. My next move was as a single mom to an apartment that was convenient to my work and to daycare. I met my current husband in the apartment complex. Funny how plans don't always work, but amazing things happen on their own.

    After being a home owner, it seemed like a huge waste to pay rent instead of a mortgage. I wanted to get into a home ASAP. I could not afford the quality of house that I had before. I needed something close to work. I wanted something that was in a good school district. Those 2 things were the determining factors. I'm in this house, which is by no means a dream house. It was new construction, so we're the original owners. New, but cheap materials (blah). It is convenient to walk to simple places, like Starbucks, Target, Barnes and Noble... but nothing in the way of city features like theatre, concerts, nice restaurants or bars. It's perfect for my daughter, but lacking in grown-up points of interest.

    When I think of living here forever, I feel sad. I really, really want to live near the beach.

    The other thing that I would like is to live near my best friends. I don't mean in the same old neighborhood, as we've all moved thousdands of miles apart. I mean, if we could all live near the beach!

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    Newlyweds since 2007
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