I have a friend who is getting married in June. I volunteered to help her sister (who is also the MOH, and I believe the only bridesmaid) host her shower. So far the MOH has done most of the planning, including selecting the date, getting the guest list from the bride, and sending out an Evite (not sure how I feel about an Evite for a shower invitation, but whatever). The shower will be held at my house.
When I saw the Evite after it was sent out, I saw that there are around 25 people invited. I e.mailed the MOH to double-check that everybody who is invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. She responded and said that she "thinks" that most of them are, although there were some co-workers invited who are not invited to the wedding. I know that work showers are generally exceptions to this etiquette rule, but this isn't really a work shower.
I feel a little bit responsible for this faux pas, since I'm hoping to plan the shower and it's being hosted at my house. I'm kicking myself for not checking on this before the invites went out (since the bride and MOH haven't been involved in many weddings/showers and may not know the etiquette), but it seemed like the MOH had things under control. But at this point, the invites have gone out and there's nothing much I can do--right? (Or is there?)
Re: shower etiquette problem/question
I do not think there is much you can do at this point. I think it would be rude to un-invite them. It seems like it would be up to the bride to make sure her co-workers realize the situation (they are being invited to the shower but not the wedding).
Or you could just tell the bride she has to invite these people to the wedding now.
Thanks, Curbside. I agree that we can't un-invite them. I don't think I can tell her that she "has" to invite the coworkers to the wedding, but I did call the etiquette to the MOH's attention and it sounded like she was going to let the bride know.