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BR: would you say something?
My MIL has been on a baby spending spree lately - I've gotten sooooo many clothes it's not funny lol (they're free so I'm definitely not complaining)!
Today she bought a few things for her and FIL to use - a secondhand double stroller (just the flimsy little kind, which is fine) and two secondhand carseats from a swap meet. The carseats are the thing that bother me, because they're one of the few things that I strongly think should be bought new, simply because you have no idea what kind of history the seats have, if they were in an accident or something.
However, I'm not sure if I should say something or not. First, it's not like she can return them. Second, I very much doubt that the babies will be in MIL's care - or car - nearly as often as she thinks they will be (I think she's still privately believing/hoping that she'll be our daycare, even though we've told her nicely but repeatedly that she won't be). So I think the seats would be used once a month max, and probably not even that often. Given these things, I'm thinking it may be the better option to let it slide and just try to make sure that they don't end up riding in her car very often. On the other hand...they're swap meet carseats, and that's just got to be bad.
Thoughts?
Re: BR: would you say something?
I would have DH talk to her about the safety factor. I would not feel comfortable using them or thinking that my child *might* end up in them. She probably has no idea about why car seats fall into the special "not-used" category -- like breast pumps. I sure didn't until I became pregnant and started reading up. (Side note: I am using a used infant car seat, but this comes from a very close friend... I wouldn't trust a car seat from a swap meet.)
I also think that, by talking, hopefully the lines of communication will open up and she can start giving y'all a heads up before she makes any other big purchases.
My ILs have a pool and I am very paranoid about it. DH is too, so he talks to them about safety and we clip out relevant articles from Parents magazine. It's nothing personal about them, it's just that there are special "rules" when it comes to babies. So far, they have been incredibly understanding about all our warnings (including getting their flu shots and other things that aren't normal for them) because they, of course, want to protect the baby, too. This is new for all of us, so we all have a lot to learn.
I'm sure your MIL would want to provide the safest options for her grandbabies -- I'd try to give her a chance to digest the rationale for not using the carseats and maybe a suggestion for what she can do with them now that they've been purchased. GL to ya!
This is a good point that I hadn't thought of...I mean, when she had her kids, it was still OK to drive around carrying them on your lap, you know? So I'm positive that she thinks she's doing something good, and I really do appreciate that...but as you said, I simply don't trust a carseat from a swap meet (if it was from a close friend and we knew the history, like yours, that would be totally different). I might get Ben to mention something to her...
I would have your husband ask his mom what the brand of the car seats are and do some research on your own. If they pass your safety standards have your husband install them correctly and for as little as they'll be in them, I think it would be ok. My sister uses my daughter's old carseat when they fly to town and it's 7 years old and since it's still listed in the "safe list" we feel comfortable. Granted, we know for sure that it hasn't been in an accident.
If you don't get a good report on the brand that she bought, I would think that would be easily explained to her...maybe not, knowing what you've said about her though!
Good luck!