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advice
c&p from a blog
I love your practical advice for wedding stuff--was hoping you could help me with my own little issue. I did not envision any real drama at my wedding as my large extended family gets along fairly well, and I couldn't foresee anything popping up. Then something did, that puts me right in the middle of my divorced parents.
My parents met and married out of high school, and divorced about 20 years ago. My mum, about 10 years later, had a fling with one of my dad's best friends from high school (who had been a mutual friend back in the day) that was short-lived and the guy was not super cool (bit sleazy). But my dad seemed unfazed and continued to be his friend. Right after the affair, my mum met the man who is now her fiance and most solidly her life partner. But he knew about the affair, and as a lovely but slightly insecure guy, prefers to not even hear his name (I mentioned the man's recent wedding to my mom last year, and he left the room. Ugh.)
Anyhoo, my wedding venue has a limited capacity, as does our budget. We are lucky because all our parents are helping out. However my dad got some advice from friends at work that because he is pitching-in, he is entitled to invite some of his own friends. It means some of my people can't come, but I suppose that is the price for accepting money and that's fine. But guess who he insists on inviting? This old friend (and his wife). Don't like the guy, he treated my mom poorly and my stepdad-figure will be possibly upset on the day (for better or worse). I have mentioned to my father this fact (he and the stepdad get along just fine) that there could be problems on the day, and he basically said that he doesn't care and he wants his friend there. Had to tell my mum, she is not happy, and their up-to-now civilized relationship seems shaky. I don't want the guy there, because I don't want to be looking over my shoulder on the day making sure that all my parent figures are getting along. Do I have the right to put my foot down? I have expressed my opinion only to be rebuffed. Can I use an excuse such as numbers? I have to compile my invite list soon...ugh. Thanks so much!
Re: advice
Two red flags:
1. Her mom's FI can't even hear her ex-fling's name w/o walking out of the room? Dramatic much?
2. However my dad got some advice from friends at work that because he is pitching-in, he is entitled to invite some of his own friends. Once again, a sense of entitlement rears its ugly head. Whatever happened to doing something for someone you love because it's kind and you care about them and want to help?
Oh, and yeah, the dad is totally sticking it to the mom and her FI. Klassy.