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Irritated

I'm really irritated with H right now. 

When we bought our house, H promised that if we stayed we'd have everything fixed up just the way we/I wanted it.  Of course, I figured it'd be a 10 year+ project to do it all.  I was in no rush and we had no plans to move unless we were moving cities/states away.  We've done a lot of projects, but we still have a ton to do.

Now he wants to move.  We have a 1400 + 500 (partially finished, enclosed) sq. ft. house.  We found a 2400 sq. ft. house for $150k in a brand new neighborhood.  The house is a foreclosure and definitely needs some TLC in the cosmetics - new carpet, paint, kitchen counter (someone apparently took an axe to it).  It also needs appliances and some fixtures.  The lot is the same size as our house, but we'd need to install a fence.  There are also HOA fees, which we don't have at our current house.  Our current mortgage is under $1k, but this house would push it over in taxes alone.

There's also the hurdle of selling our house (1) at a depressed value to avoid repaying the $7500 "loan" from the IRS or (2) with enough profit to cover the $7500 to repay the IRS.  I'm sure we'll need to replace the roof and the AC before we can list it - that's a nice chunk of cash to put out and potentially see no return on.  H also has to finish remodeling the master bath.

While I understand the appeal of a new house and an extra 1k sq. ft., I just don't know that I want to move.  I hate moving.  I hate dealing with financing, mortages, realtors, credit scores, bank statements, packing, down payments, boxes, cleaning, painting, unpacking, fencing/dog issues, etc. 

And I don't think a huge move will be fantastic for our marriage right now - we need calm and stability. 

Why why why is he even considering it?  Why?  Sure, it's a good deal, but we don't have to take advantage of every good deal that comes along.  I think we need to stay put and make the most of what we have now. 

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Re: Irritated

  • Sounds like he's running away (figuratively of course).
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  • Two thumbs down to a move for you guys right now. No.
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  • Did you tell him your concerns or have you not really had the sit down to talk about it?
  • i really prefer to remain impartial (even though i am on team nicole)..but your H doesn't see anything wrong with ::waving hand over post:: all of that?

    I can see the appeal of a new place, maybe it's a new start in his mind. but even if things were going super awesome right now, it's not the best financial decision to make.

     

    not that i make sound financial decisions all the time, but i can't imagine anyone really thinking that is a good idea.

  • image**O-Face**:
    Sounds like he's running away (figuratively of course).

    This.  Like a symbolic fresh start or reset.

    That's the only exciting thing about a move.  Leaving the old ghosts behind and having a blank slate.
     

    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • We've talked about the pros and cons, but really, all he's focusing on is the pros.  I think tonight I'm going to have to put my foot down.  It really really really doesn't make any sense.  We need to be happy where we are, not chasing sparkly things off in the distance.
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  • I would make a list of the pros and cons - side by side - so my H could literally SEE them. He often ignore the cons, or does not think things through, and needs things SHOWN to him (like a five year old).

    Unrelated - I want a house. I am so ready for H to graduate and us start living like adults. I can't wait to be a dual income family and have a proper bedroom set and more than two rooms. And walls I can paint.

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  • imageMinM:

    Unrelated - I want a house. I am so ready for H to graduate and us start living like adults. I can't wait to be a dual income family and have a proper bedroom set and more than two rooms. And walls I can paint.

    MinM, we're a 2 income household and can't afford that. It gives me a sad. I want a house. I love our apartment but I want room.

  • Mrs. TT - if we continue to live in the butt crack of America, we will be able to afford 40 acres and a huge house. I know, because I have started looking. It is like searching PetFinder, but with homes....I see so many houses that need a family and I want to take them all!
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  • imagedharmabunny:

    image**O-Face**:
    Sounds like he's running away (figuratively of course).

    This.  Like a symbolic fresh start or reset.

    That's the only exciting thing about a move.  Leaving the old ghosts behind and having a blank slate.
     

     

    but that blank slate is a just a smoke screen. just like getting married to someone you have reservations about.  any problems that were there before marriage, will be there after you get married.  

  • If he didn't know about this other house, would he be looking to move? WTF... sometimes DH buys sht just 'cause it was on sale, but stuff like spices and cans of kidney beans. Not whole new houses.
    ..
  • Nope.  If he didn't know about this house, he wouldn't want to move at all.  And it's like I told him, by the time we ARE ready to move, that house may not be available.  He's just convinced that one house = all of the other houses are going to be as great of a value.  ::smdh::
    imageimage
  • Can you point out that as DD gets older she's going to require more money, and with you guys being near the rocks (if not on) having more $$ issues isn't in the best interest of the relationship? And, is there absolutely no way he could add a room onto the current house, thus making it bigger?
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