Need to vent...

Milliechel67

Wow.  I just had a reaction I never expected. 

DH and I decided we are not in a place to have babies right away.  I'm 30 so there's a possibility if we wait a few years, it could be more difficult to get pregnant.  I've known that was a possibility our whole relationship and I've been completely okay with that. 

I just got an e-mail from one of my friends, telling me they're going off birth control and are going to see what happens.  I am so excited but at the same time, I'm fighting back tears... I am overwhelmed with emotions of "what if we wait and have kids"... "I can't go through the having a baby adventure with this friend"... etc...

I did not expect this.  At all.  Because I didn't anticipate it, I have no idea where to go with these emotions right now.  Wow.

Milliechel67

Oops... I meant to write "what if we wait and can't have kids."

Karen2905

Awww, millie.  Don't worry about it.  People have babies at 40, and you know you're not waiting that long.

I think something biological happens to many (not all) women around our age where our minds go into baby-mode. 

No worries.  You will be a mommy soon! 

nicoleabrock

Millie, I share your fear in secret because I am turning 30 in a month and have always had those same thoughts in the back of my head.  I think it's natural to worry about it as you get older just don't let those feelings take over.  You will have beautiful children when you are ready! 

Cipolla2Be

I'm 27, but also want to wait until I am at least 30 to have children.  This is also a fear in the back of my head.  Yesterday on The View they had Dr. Oz on and he talked about when you turn 30 you only have so many eggs left etc.  BUT he said don't freak out because you have THAT many eggs left.  It's OKAY!  People make a huge deal about it but LOTS of people have children well into their 30s and 40s.  I trust Dr. Oz.....I don't know him personally or anything but he made me feel better.  You will have the cutest babies ever when you are your DH are good and ready!  And I know you will have the cutest babies ever because you are gorgeous and your DH is hot....so there you go.

kelnyc

Let's all take a big, deep breath here. I am turning 34 this year and we are just now off BC, so you have PLENTY of time! It's very true that women are having babies at 40, but yes, things can get complicated and be considered "high-risk" after 35. That being said, you're not 35 yet! I am way later than most of my friends/family (my twin sister has an 11 year old!) and I don't regret it at all. DH and I just got married and are stable at this point in our lives, but 5 years ago, not so much. I think it's better to wait until it makes sense for you two, not for what makes sense for everyone else. HTH!

Milliechel67

Thanks girls!  Writing out the post definitely helped and hearing some responses brought me back to normal.  It was just not a reaction I expected to have at all.  I'm sure it will come up again, but at least now I know it's lingering not too far from the surface so I won't be so suprized next time!

Fotophreak4c

My aunt had a baby when she was 37!! Dont wry Millie, you have some time

chayer227

Ditto all of the above.  I'll be 34 later this month, and we'll be trying this summer.  ALL my friends are done having babies, and I've felt behind the game and very left out for years now, but it hasn't been the right time for us. 

And, I was conceived by a 50 year old dad and a 46 year old mom.  The health risks are higher, but if it's meant to happen, it will.  Take your time and be fully ready for the experience.  Yay for being honest with yourself enough to wait, AND to write this post to share your feelings with us!

juangela

I'm late, but I had to jump in here. I'm 27, no plans for babies until I'm at least 30. I've been getting some serious pressure from BIL and SIL, who got married when they were 18. Their oldest is turning 10 this weekend and they are 31. DH and I's lives are VERY different than theirs is/was though. And they just don't get it.

In all honestly, I have zero interest in being a mother right now. Less than zero, if that is possible. My friend just had her first baby last April. She was 31, and is one of the best mothers I know. You've got time, and early isn't always best. When the time is right, you'll know.

jlk0219

DH and I are both about to turn 27 and we are waiting until we are at least 30 to even start thinking about TTC.  Yes, I do get a little scared when I think about whether or not that decision will have any effect on how easily we'll get pregnant.  BUT I figure it's better to wait until we're really ready- have a house and a stable income and are psychologically ready to be parents.  I'm in the middle of starting a new career and I don't want to raise kids while I'm trying to get that going- I want my kids to know that their mom loves her job and to be proud of me for doing something I love.  And I would rather we take our chances with conception than have a baby too early and end up resenting each other and be stressed out all the time because we rushed into things.

Milliechel67

I'm okay today.    I think it was good for me to realize at least how much babies do mean to me.... good to spend some time thinking about that yesterday.  Thanks for your thoughts though!  Good timing will be here eventually and it'll be all the better for the wait.