Remember my post about whether or not I should go to BIL's wedding? (Proof that I made the right dec

cecig

Well I didn't go. The last couple of days before the wedding, DH kept getting these crazy texts from the bride: requesting that everyone should chip in for a limo (me included!) for the "after-party", emailing my DH about the rehearsal and that there are NO EXCEPTIONS for missing it, even though it was at 8pm and that's the time my DH gets off of work, and another email explaining that the GM's needed to limit BIL's drinking before the wedding to just one shot because "we all know how he can't handle his liquor and she needed him sober for the ceremony...."

Someone in my last post, (SanHawaii, I think?) made a good point about "saying what you mean." I asked my DH again if he was really okay with me not going & he said yes....and I am so glad that I did. Fast forward to this past weekend and you'll know why.

I don't watch football, but DH wanted to have a little something with his side of the family on Superbowl Sunday. Meaning he invites BIL and the new wife along with his other relatives. BIL convinces DH to have a keg, he will bring it to our house and everyone chips in. As soon as I heard this, I knew it was going to be a long day. They hang out all day, and at 10pm I decide to head upstairs and get ready for bed. I don't drink and I have a super long commute to work that requires I get up really early. My DH comes up around 11 and tells me that the bride left BIL, as in drove off and went home without him because they got into an argument. And he is drunk . I go to the loft area on the 2nd floor of our house to look out the window and all I hear is BIL screaming on the phone: "you effing b, I'm going to strangle your a*s, I'm so tired of your sh*t, you stupid b...." etc., etc. Really? Really? He is standing in my driveway shouting all of these things. I can only imagine what the neighbors were thinking at this point and I could not believe my ears. I was furious that she left her mess of a husband for us to deal with.

While I'm trying to wrap my mind around this situation, BIL is insisting that my DH take him home, and I'm insisting that he does not. It would be an 80 mile ride roundtrip just to take him home and DH had been drinking. DH gets mad at me because he thinks I'm making him choose  and takes him home anyway. I was left fuming. I ended up calling DH's sister that night who is good friends with the bride and told her what happened (she was there that night also) and if she could please relay a message to her on my behalf, and thank her for bringing her drama to our house and causing problems in my marriage. I went on to explain to her exactly how I felt about this girl, and how I did not want to see them for a very long time.

Needless to say, DH is still trying to work his way out of the doghouse. He knows my beliefs and how strongly I feel about drinking and driving, I'm almost ashamed to admit that he even did this.......

I'm at a loss as to how to deal with them in the future. Do I just ignore them from now on, pretend this never happened? I don't know. And the real kicker here, before this incident even happened, I put it together that the bride has me blocked on facebook. Yes, yes, because I'm so obsessed with her happy family.......

mrspresley

ugh.  i'm glad you didn't go to the wedding either. sounds like she is a total nightmare.  i am sorry about the issue w/your DH but i think you have a right to stand your ground.  i mean, ask him how he would feel if cassie was killed in an accident by a drunk driver? to me, there is no excuse to drink and drive b/c you are playing with other peoples' lives...if you want to go and do something stupid to endanger yourself, then fine. but if it involves possibly harming others (accidentally or not) then there is no excuse.  what's done is done though and i think all you can do is ask your DH to promise to never do it again so you can both move past this.

lola808

Wow, what an awful situation.  I understand your anger toward DH.  At the same time, DH should be upset with his brother and SIL for putting him in such a tough spot.  You were right to avoid the wedding and all the associated drama!

MrsIH

Unfreakingbelievable! That is terrible, I am so sorry you had to go through that... the worst part being your husband leaving to drive home BIL, I can't imagine the stress/worries you were feeling   I too am glad you went with your gut feelings and did not go to their wedding, good for you. 

MauiBride2008

What a nightmare girl!  You made the right the choice (obviously).  Standing your ground with her and just giving it to her is what she needs.  My SIL is full of drama like that (along with the rest of MH family), but she is getting better after a very long road.  Keep standing your ground about it.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this

myday1708

OK your BIL and his bride from h*ll sound awful! Ugg!

But at least you can gloat in the fact that you have, quite possibly, the CUTEST LITTLE GIRL EVER!!!!

Do you take those freakin adorable photos of her in your siggy? WHAT kind of camera do you have? And WHERE do you get her stinkin cute outfits!!!!!

Alexa wants to grow up to be Cassie Bear! 

MrsNJSwimmer

D&D is one of my biggest pet peeves! I am so against it!

I understand your anger, and I would stand your ground.  Sounds like the BIL and his wife are a nightmare - good for you for not going to the wedding, and for continuing to stand up for what you believe in and know is right.

sanae78

Wow, sounds like their marriage is off to a great start. 

Sorry you have to deal with this drama.  I definitely wouldn't pretend it never happened.  I guess I'd probably just avoid them as much as possible.  Good thing they don't live too close!

adpilove

Soooo curious minds want to know.........what happened after you told SIL your thoughts on new SIL?  Oh boy, well at least you have 9 months until the holidays!!

inamra

Wow, this really sucks =( I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that this past weekend. I can't believe BIL's wife just stranded her newly-married husband drunk at your house. I think it might be good to talk this through with YH so that you guys can jointly agree ahead of time on where you stand in your family's interactions with BIL & his wife because I don't think her inconsiderate actions should be tolerated anymore. And as for drinking & driving, since he knows that was wrong, like pp mentioned, he needs to promise that it will never happen again. I'm glad you stood your ground and even though it really sucked and was rough for you to go through all this, you did the right thing. I hope you guys don't have to ever deal with anything like this from them again!

kaesha

Oh man. There's never an excuse for drinking and driving. I'm sorry you guys went through that.

cecig

adpilove:

Soooo curious minds want to know.........what happened after you told SIL your thoughts on new SIL?  Oh boy, well at least you have 9 months until the holidays!!

My SIL didn't really say a lot, besides "I know, I understand....." I didn't expect her to really choose a side, not that I'm needing anyone to agree with me anyway, you know what I mean? I'm just hoping she relayed the message word for word because I really want this girl to know how I feel about her.

I told DH during the argument that they are no longer welcomed here, but I know that's unrealistic of me to say, after all, they are his family. Planning Cassie's birthday should be interesting. We didn't invite anyone from his side of the family last year but he talked about inviting them to her 2nd birthday this year....ugh!

myday1708:

OK your BIL and his bride from h*ll sound awful! Ugg!

But at least you can gloat in the fact that you have, quite possibly, the CUTEST LITTLE GIRL EVER!!!!

Do you take those freakin adorable photos of her in your siggy? WHAT kind of camera do you have? And WHERE do you get her stinkin cute outfits!!!!!

Alexa wants to grow up to be Cassie Bear! 

Thanks so much for the sweet compliments Malia The photos in my siggy are taken by me. I have a Canon 50D, I've had it for a year now but still trying to figure it all out! Most of her outfits come from Baby Gap, Old Navy, Target, Gymboree. Gap is great about giving me 20% off coupons at the register so I try to save those when I want to buy her something that I just have to have. A lot of their stuff goes on sale rather quickly, so most of the times I don't have to pay full price anyway. The jeans from there also fit her the best and what I like about those is that you after buying 4 pairs you get 1 free. I'm just hoping for a girl if we ever decide to try for baby #2 so she can wear all of the hand me downs that are carefully being stored away .

Your Alexa is beautiful in her own right! I can't believe how fast the babies on this board are growing!