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H is shaping up (long)
HA!
I sortof reached the end of my rope last night. I knew I was heading in that direction earlier this week, but of course this was the week DH had firefighting for 3 nights, so I never saw him to discuss. Then he got sick, which wasn't his fault but still shortened my rope even more.
Tuesday morning, Dex was crying over the monitor. DH turns it off and proceeds to shower, shave, etc. for 30 minutes. I suggested that perhaps he should have taken a different course - at least let Dex hang out in the bathroom with him or something. Yesterday morning, Dex was SCREAMING for 10 minutes before H even got up. (morning division of labor is I get Des, he gets Dex) I ended up getting him up and dressed both times.
Seems like every time I turn around, H is helping himself to a shower or some food. Yes, I know I should eat, too, but I always figure I'll do it after I unload the dishwasher or switch the laundry or get the trash can from the end of the driveway or whatever. He has different priorities.
It's weird with me at home - I do feel like I should do more than 50% of the at-home stuff, but Desmond is pretty much an arm baby, and it's tough to do things with one hand, you know? Sometimes I just need him to take the baby after Dex goes to bed so I can get something done.
Anyway, last night I was really pissed. Not necessarily at him (partially, but part of this is my fault, and his getting sick this week is certainly no one's fault), and I ended up sleeping in Desmond's room (where our guest bed is still set up). I wanted to talk to him, but he was too busy eating and going to bed early. I was also concerned that I might fly off the handle when he hasn't really done anything so horribly wrong (how dare he feed himself?!) I didn't yell at him, and I wasn't trying to be passive aggressive - just trying to keep myself from starting a big, unnecessary fight at midnight when he had to be at work this morning.
This morning, Dex woke up at 7 (way earlier than usual), and H was there in a heartbeat and put away some of Dex's clothes. Started feeding him breakfast, then started getting Des changed and fed when he woke up 10 minutes later. I was cracking up. I ended up getting up, too, since both boys were awake, fed Dexter, got him dressed. H handled Desmond and his poopy diaper and even got himself a shower and to work on time.
But srsly. I need a full night's sleep and some exercise or I am going to go BSC.
Re: H is shaping up (long)
I am on your side. and you need Margarita Madness Friday more than my office does.
I have no advice; i just wanted you to know that i nodded at your post as I read it all.
I have no advice because I think you maybe just needed to get this off your chest.
Thing is, he's actually really great. I don't typically have to ask him to do stuff - he sees dirty dishes and washes them. Realizes it's trash night and takes the trash out. Sees a hungry kid and feeds him. And I do the same.
It's like bizarro land over here. I hope things will even out a little when I go back to work.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
This sounds like every gf that I have that has kids.
Sometimes you just have to go off to get their attention. It doesn't even sound like you did a full pop off either. I think women are just different when it comes to their kids. We're wired differently.
A man can walk past poop, a yelling baby, and we can't. I don't care what any woman says, we will always do more when it comes to the kids. Yes, dad will try, and talk a good game before the baby comes, but we will always have 80% of the child care duties.