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FIL vent
We think H's dad has lung cancer. He's been going to get tests in a very piecemeal fashion since the doctor told him he likely has lung cancer. Some of the tests have come back inconclusive, and today the doctor said they wanted to admit him to the hospital to run some more tests and possibly have some surgery to see what's really going on.
Well, his dad is saying he doesn't want to do this. He's been really stubborn the whole time. He's made lots of comments about not wanting to go through treatment at all. He's still smoking like a chimney.
I could just cry. My H said his dad is so weak right now that he thinks he would die if he caught something like pneumonia. If this was my dad, I'd get on a plane and kick his _ass for being so selfish. I'm hoping this is just him trying to accept what's going on, and it has to be very difficult, but he keeps putting up roadblocks.
Re: FIL vent
That's so tough Marshy.
I'm sorry.
Marshy that's a really tough situation. But his dad needs to make the right decision for him. Treatment isn't a decision everyone goes for. Sometimes the treatment is more hard core than the disease so I understand his fear but I COMPLETELY understand your reaction of anger and concern as well.
H+P's to you and hubs marshy- so sorry to hear FIL won't stop smoking either.
My heart is heavy for you and your hubs. I hope FIL can get more info and more perspective soon so they can save his life.
I agree with you. We already know that if it's at stage 4 he won't do treatment, and I respect that. I think he's in his mid-60's and I know you really have to be there mentally and physically to deal with treatment. I think my frustration is he's not even letting the doctors do what they need to do to just diagnose him. We don't know, he may have a fighting chance, but he's sqandering away time. And that may be time where things are progressing to a point of no return. And he's like this with everything - he's never had a will, he puts off doctor's visits, etc.
I feel so bad for H. He said yesterday, "If my dad dies this year, it won't be because of old age." Like I said, I'm just hoping his dad is working through his feelings with all of this and will at least take the steps to get diagnosed.
I completely understand. My aunt had leukemia and she KNEW something was wrong (she was an MD herself) and yet she refused to continue to test further to confirm or get treatment.
We were all devastated when she passed because we all had WHAT IFS in our minds ya know? What if she HAD gotten a conclusive diagnosis? What if she HAD treatment? So I'm RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. It took a VERY long time for my mom to grieve because of all the what ifs so I'm sending every prayer your hubs way.
(and FIL that he become more sensitive to the situation at hand and the way his decision will affect those who love him)
Marshy this is seriously a crappy situation. I am so sorry.