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committed a social faux pas - wwyd? (long)
MH and I went to a birthday party yesterday - bowling and dinner 
the birthday girl (let's call her K)'s sister was in town, and there were a zillion people on the evite - most of whom we don't know. we're not that close to the couple, though definitely friends, attended each other's weddings, etc. before we left, i asked whether we should pick up some chocolates or something - as a token gift. since so many people were invited, i was picturing a casual get-together where people drop in, say hi, etc - i didn't think it necessitated a gift. we were running late, and decided to skip it.
so we show up, and it's all family, except for us and one other couple that they're really close to. (other friends couldn't make it, or had to bail at the last minute b/c of kiddie meltdowns, etc.) K's husband has a large extended family, all in the area - everybody was there, tons of nieces and nephews, K's sister's husband and 3 yo, etc...so - lots of family and lots of little kids. K's husband paid for everything - bowling and everyone's dinner. they had brought a cake, K opened presents...
this is all to say - I feel really bad that we showed up empty handed. without even a card! if i had known it was so family-oriented and "traditional" birthday party-ish, i definitely would have brought something. the original bowling venue (before they had to move due to a scheduling mix-up) was actually where i celebrated my birthday with friends a few years ago - dim lighting, huge lounge area, a dj, and great drinks. very hipster, not your typical retro bowling place teaming with kids, hah. so i guess that was what i was expecting.
anyhow, sorry for all the background - the question is - i'd really like to still give a gift, but what should I say, so it's not awkward for either couple? (or okay fine, i don't mind feeling awkward, since i did completely mess up!)
Re: committed a social faux pas - wwyd? (long)
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i would just get the gift and let her know that you were running late and didn't get a chance to pick something up. i don't think it's a big deal. it's the thought that counts right?
You could take her our for a birthday lunch or having her and her husband over for a nice birthday dinner?
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I think that I would just be honest, and say that while on your way you wanted to get her something but was running late. I don't think she will even flinch at it, and my guess is that she will be so surprised by your kindness and probably didn't expect anything as it was.
But for me lately, I have learned that honesty in these situations are key. No reason to lie, when the truth is a great, loving and kind story. You are very thoughtful and I think she will be blown away by your gesture
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I agree with pps - I'd probably just be honest and say, "So sorry we didn't get this to you sooner - Happy Belated Birthday!" and then give her the gift. (I don't think it's necessary to go into a whole long story of why you didn't give her a gift before.)
Will you be seeing her in person or mailing something?
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