WWYD: Teaching/child related question

kaesha

So, as per always, I had a few interesting (read: disasterous parents) interviews over the last two days... one of which saw a mother saying "What do you expect, boys just don't respect women as much." (restain. fists. of.fury.)

Anyway, one of the other girls on my other board asked me:

What do you do when what you in your professional opinion think is best for their child is not what the parents want?

And that got me thinking - I mean, usually I consult with professionals who know more than me - but obviously I don't believe parents always know best. Having said that, I'm also not a parent and I have no idea what it's like to hear difficult things about my child's behaviour or skills.

So, have you gone through this? What would you do if someone told you your child needed some kind of support/modification of behaviour/etc.

vanilla15

kaesha:

one of which saw a mother saying "What do you expect, boys just don't respect women as much." 

 first, this is amazing to me...seriously how can another person say this, muchless another woman!  to me, this sounds like the kid's first problem.

I don't have any kids of my own yet, but I think even parents with troubled kids that are in complete denial, deep down know something is off with their kids.  Maybe if I thought the teacher was the problem & then the counselor or principal sat down with me & explained the problems, cited examples of the problem behavior, and presented solutions or therapies maybe that would help wrap my mind around what they were saying.  

But again, i don't have any kids of my own so I don't know how blinded or defensive I will be as a parent.

That sucks you have to go through all of that!  Hope things get resolved soon & for the student's (and your sanity's) best interest!

redshoegirl

I truly hope that I'm not one of those parents who thinks their child could do no wrong, and I would hope that if a concerned professional came to me, I'd be open to what they said regardless of how I felt about it. I do agree with pp that I think even those parents do know deep down that something is off with their kids though.

As to how to address it...wow, I just don't even know. Do you think it would it ever help to have a third party - like the principal or someone - talk to the parents as well, if they refuse to listen to "just" the teacher?

kaesha

Sometimes the group tactic works... but more often than not, parents respond with the "everyone is against my child" notion. It's a total denial - and maybe it's fear that if their child really is as bad as people are saying, that they've failed as a parent. I can understand that must be a terrifying thought...

mrspresley

that's tough and i'm not sure how i would handle the situation myself... parents can often be very defensive about the behavior of their kids b/c it's a reflection of their parenting style.  i don't think i have any good suggestions for you, just sorry you have to deal w/crap like that.