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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Having trouble with our friends.
DH and I are suppposed to be the MOH and BM in our friends' wedding next summer. These are our best "couple" friends and we spend most weekends with them. DH works with the bride and usually rides to/from work with her. Yesterday on the ride home they were talking about the guest list and she casually lets it drop that she doesn't want our kids there. Not that she's not inviting kids, just not OUR kids. Mainly our five year old daughter, Emily. She's afraid she'd be "too much of a brat". Fact of the matter is, that yes, it is their wedding, and they have control over the guest list. And since DH and I are both in the wedding, and not able to sit with the kids at either the ceremony or reception, we weren't really planning on bringing them. But I think that it really sucks of them as friends to single out our kids as "not good enough" to be there. DH told me about it all last night and I told him how hurt and offended I was, and I think he realized what a shitty thing it was. He talked to her on the way in today, and she went on the defensive and got really nasty about it. I'm pretty sure that we just lost two good friends, and I'm pretty upset about that. Am I wrong to be so upset?
Re: Having trouble with our friends.
I would be really upset too if someone didn't want my daughter at their wedding because she might be a brat but other kids were invited. IMO, its either all kids invited or no kids invited (ring bearer / flowergirl being the exception to no kids) I think it was just flat-out rude of her to give that reason to your DH
They are basing it on the fact that last summer she was the FG in a wedding of two of our other friends. She was three years old at the time, and had been up since six in the morning. She started acting up during dinnner so we had MIL take her upstairs to our room. They just don't want her being too "rambunctious" on their day.
I think thats really mean and rude! I think you have EVERY right to be upset. Not to side with your friends, but I can understand them NOT wanting kids to be "too rambuncious" at their wedding... but kids are kids and sometimes thats how they are. You cannot expect a 6 year old to act like a 36 year old at a wedding. They way I see it is if you invite kids you need to be prepared for everything and anything! = )
I think once the wedding is over you need to say something to her. Explain how upset and hurt you were that they decided YOUR child could not come. Maybe there is a different side to the story, who knows. But you need to communicate that your friends. If you're good friends they should understand. GL!
I'm sorry, but that is incredibly b!tchy. We didn't have kids at our wedding because of one child. But I wasn't going to tell my cousin he couldn't bring his kid because he breaks things all the time and is a terror. I just politely put adult reception on the invitation and played it off as we didn't have enough room for everyone to bring kids as well. It wasn't a big deal, and my cousin, was more than happy to find a babysitter for the night.
Sometimes people are so caught up in their own life, that they don't stop to think about other people's feelings.
I'm sorry your friend is being like that.
Eeek.....this is kindof a sore subject for me at the moment as my own sister is planning a destination wedding in the Bahamas for March. She is having her wedding at a couples-only resort (Sandals).
My other sister and I (her only siblings) each have young children - her daughter is 3 and my two are 2 and 1. It's put the two of us in a pretty tough spot. Basically it's coming downt to that either my sister and I only will go to the Bahamas and leave the kids at home with our husbands for a few days - if we go at all. All of our long-term type of babysitters are family members who will be going to the wedding!
My sister keeps saying that she REALLY wants my sister and I to be there in the Bahamas with her. If that's true though, I can't imagine why she has thrown up this HUGE obstacle in the way of us doing that! My guess is that us being there is not as "important" to her as she claims.
It is one thing to not want kids at your wedding.
It's even ok to have the opinion that you don't want particular kids at a wedding - though I think it's in bad taste to invite some and not others.
It is just downright RUDE to tell a parent that you don't want THEIR kid because you are worried she'll be a brat. RUDE. Rude. rude.
I am sorry.