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BR: L/D Visitors
With baby soon to arrive, DH and I are discussing our "visitor's plan". After birth, I'm told we'll stay in the delivery room for about 1-2 hours. Then we'll go down the hall to the post-partum rooms. The hospital doesn't have any restrictions on visitors in either area -- they told us it's pretty much up to us and what we're comfortable with.
At this point, I'm not sure how I feel about having visitors, even our parents, in the L/D room right after birth. I would rather them wait until we are moved to post-partum, and then they can come in and see baby.
DH thinks we should at least let our moms pop into L/D soon after baby is born just so they can see the LO, and then tell them we'll call them in again when we're moved. I see his reasoning, but I also feel protective of our first moments together as a family. It's only an hour or two, and a lot will be going on -- bonding, breastfeeding, checking the baby, resting...
How did you handle visitors? What was your plan and how did you feel about seeing people once baby was born?
Re: BR: L/D Visitors
Ooh. Good post. I'm curious to know what people have to say. My sister, who is due in two weeks, told me that she only wants DH in the room during labor (which I totally understand!). But that for an hour after the baby is actually born, she doesn't want anyone to come in for at least an hour or two.
Its her decision and I totally respect it. But I wanna meet my baby niece, too! I have a feeling that she may be asleep (exhaustion from laboring) by the time she lets the family into the room. Heheh =D
BTW...how are things Melissa? You looked so adorable w/your baby bump at our last gtg
I am hoping for something along the lines of this. We'll see how that goes down with the fam, though.......
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
we were only allowed two people in L&D... i had MH and the photographer and they said that my mom could stay in there until i was pushing....i actually didn't even want my mom in there w/me b/c i didn't really want anyone aside from MH and medical professional looking "down there". in the end, the nurse said that if my mom stayed out of the way, that my ob would likely allow her to stay in the room if we asked... well, when it came time to push, we didn't ask and my ob didn't say anything so my mom just sat in a chair in the distance away from all the "action." honestly i was in so much pain once they turned off the epidural that i didn't really care who was where or what they were doing. after she was born, we were given about 1 hr with her before they wanted to move me to post partum and move her to the nursery to get her first bath. that hour was a big blur to me b/c i had been laboring for so long... i was shaking uncontrollably from the pain, drugs, etc. and while my mom was definitely a "baby hog" holding her even more than MH, i was too out of it to really mind. i still had skin to skin time w/her and time to BF her (DH stepped in and said "ok grandma, time to hand over the baby now"
) and then i basically just wanted to rest. my mom was great about staying on the sidelines when we needed her to so i think it also depends on the personalities of your family members.
i think it's great to have an idea of what you want to do, but like everything else related with L&D, be prepared for changes in that plan. right now you may be thinking you do not want anyone there immediately after baby is born, but maybe once you are in the moment you will want to share in the joy w/your family....or, maybe you'll still want alone time first. just be open to whatever happens
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
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My hospital was so odd - the L/D rooms are HUGE, think normal hospital room + living room (extra couch, bed, TV (so TWO in the rooms), desk, and small table/chairs set). Then the post partum rooms are like a normal hospital room/bed with roll away and small couch and one TV.
I guess with a 97% epidural rate and high induction rate they expect ppl to take a while and be in the frame of mind to sit and visit?? in the L/D side but I found it soooo odd.
Anyways, I didn't want anyone but MH there for labor and delivery. I wanted to stay focused and didn't want to talk or "entertain" anyone. When I though I wasn't progressing I did call my mom to see if she could come help. Once I realized I did progress to pushing stage before she got there I made her stay in the waiting area. She came back about 2 hours after the birth (one hour for the placenta issue and stitching and 1 hour to bond with the baby). She is the only one I would have wanted to see b/c I had not been given a new gown and felt pretty yucky. She stuck around while I ate and then took off while I got cleaned up and then came back when I had moved rooms. My grandparents and stepdad and an uncle I'm close to came by that night.
I guess you just need to think of what would be best for you and what makes YOU comfortable. I do think bonding with the baby is really special and I couldn't imagine having anyone else around, even though I'm super close to my mom. But she also told me she didn't want to be there because she thinks is more special with just 3. But that is just me, I know everyone is different.
This is exactly how I feel. My mom is my best friend, but I feel like the birth is a sacred time for DH, me, and our new baby -- the beginnings of our new family. You can't get that time back, and we'll be inundated with visitors soon after.
At the same time, though, who knows... I may want or need my mom's support at some point. Also, I don't want to offend the grandparents by keeping them out like "other" visitors.
I think it will be a game time decision. For now, I just want to have a plan for communicating our decision either way -- because I know they'll be there waiting. Maybe we can let them know ahead of time that we'll invite them in as soon as everything is safe and ready -- and I can blame it on medical necessity if I want to buy us more alone time.
Thanks, ladies.
Thanks! I'm doing well... hanging in there till the big day. Very excited to face the big unknown of L-A-B-O-R and finally meet this little guy/girl!!!
Hope you enjoyed your vacay. Saw your pics on FB and looks like you had a blast. And lots of good eats!
I had MH and my mom in the delivery room with me. I was SO grateful to have my mom there. During labour and while I was pushing I didn't really notice anyone being there I was in my own zone. But afterwards I wanted both my mom and Russ with me. Russ went with Elyse because she was having some troubles breathing and the midwife did her check under the warming lights. I was happy to have my mom stay right by my side.
We had my inlaws come to see us in the recovery room. My MIL was MASSIVE baby hog. I didn't hold my baby for about two hours while they were there. IMO that was way to long. I'm still extremely bitter about it. I was so out of it at the time that I didn't think it was ok to ask for her back. My MIL still constantly says things like "you're going to have to let me hold her" and it instantly makes me angry.
If you're having people come see you after know that it's OK to ask for your baby back and have your husband monitor how long it's been since you've held him or her.
Married Bio
I think you totally have the right frame of mind - just don't be scared to go with your gut feeling and ask for what you want (including making sure only those that you really want are in there). If my labor had went on for hours longer I totally would have needed my mom.
Maybe we were at the same hospital, that is how it was for me (11 yrs ago)!
I had my mom, dad, paternal grandparents, sister, BIL and niece in my L&D. But, once I was in 'transition', I started being really mean to everyone and using the F word a lot (I was in pain!). Everyone but my mom and grandma left and didn't come back until I was in my room. Prior to going into labor, I didn't care who was/wasn't there and it just worked out. What I didn't like were all the non family visitors as soon as I was settled in my room, I wanted a little time to myself and I wanted to take a shower.
Oh your next!!!
I felt the same way as you did and my DH felt the same way as yours. I insisted we do things my way, visitors only after we moved to post-partum. I am so so so glad we did it this way. We told them that we'll call you when he's born and again when we moved rooms and we're ready for visitors. It ended up being about 4 hours until we got moved to our new room because it was so busy (I don't remember what they were doing but lots of staff in there). Stick to your guns or you might be resentful.