I taught my child something bad

Eclaire71

The thing I taught DS that I feel guilty about is to lie. Here is the situation:  I bought him a pair of Converse on Sat. (he goes through a pair of shoes every 6 - 8 weeks @ $40 a pair).  I always make him wear new shoes around the house for a little bit to make sure they are comfortable.  Well, he was so excited to have these Converse that he wore them out to his friends' house to shoot some hoops and to the grocery store. He tells me Sat night that the shoes totally hurt his left foot. The store where I purchased them does not take back worn shoes under any circumstance.  So, I scrubbed the bottom and sides of the shoes clean, took tape to the inside and removed any lint, replaced the shoe laces because one was already stepped on and dirty, and then yesterday, we exchanged the Converse for some Vans. The salesman asked me 'Have these shoes been worn" and I replied 'No'.  DS knew the plan, saw me cleaning the shoes and still he looked horrified when I was completing the transaction.  He was hanging on me and hugging me which is not his norm when we are out in public (or in private for that matter).  I know he was nervous I will now only buy shoes from Nordstrom and other stores with no questions asked return policies.  Just had to get this off my chest, I feel like a bad seed!

 

mrspresley

awww... well, what's done is done, no reason to dwell on it.  i don't have a LO running around yet so take this w/a grain of salt b/c i have no experience w/older kids...but maybe you can talk to him about it now and explain to him that you know what you did was wrong and that you don't want him to get the wrong idea from it. tell him that you made a mistake by taking them back, and you're willing to own up to it. he'll appreciate your honesty, i think. then tell him that in the future, if he doesn't listen to you and only wear them in the house first, that he'll have to pay for the shoes out of his allowance (or work the money off by doing chores, etc. however you want to do it) so that he can be held accountable for his actions, too.

those are just my thoughts on this at least.

kaesha

Would it make you feel better to know that children learn to lie when they're babies? I'll try and dig up the article I read on it - I think it was the NYTimes. So, it's not like you taught him something he didn't already know how to do.

Eclaire71

Thank you for commenting ladies. I don't know what I was thinking, so out of character for me to do something like that, let alone with a pint size accomplice. God, what was I thinking?

SanHawaii08

mrspresley:

awww... well, what's done is done, no reason to dwell on it.  i don't have a LO running around yet so take this w/a grain of salt b/c i have no experience w/older kids...but maybe you can talk to him about it now and explain to him that you know what you did was wrong and that you don't want him to get the wrong idea from it. tell him that you made a mistake by taking them back, and you're willing to own up to it. he'll appreciate your honesty, i think. then tell him that in the future, if he doesn't listen to you and only wear them in the house first, that he'll have to pay for the shoes out of his allowance (or work the money off by doing chores, etc. however you want to do it) so that he can be held accountable for his actions, too.

those are just my thoughts on this at least.

this is what i'd do. (great advice, jaime!!)