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Would this pissyou off? kinda longish
I normally talk to my mom on the drive into work. Lately she has been preoccupied with my nephew- so our conversations are often filled with "nana said no" "do you have to go peepee?" Stuff like that. No biggie. Well my mom didn't call me this morning, so I didn't call her. I thought- well I'll just touch base with her when she is driving nephew to preschool. I get to work at 7:15, at 7:40 my boss calls me to let me know that my sister (which I work with, and which is also nephews mom) won't be in until after she takes nephew to preschool, because "something about your mom is in the ER." I immediatly call my mom ask what the hell is going on, and she says "it was nothing, I have been taking an antibiotic and I broke out in hives and my eyes were swelling shut, so I had your dad take me to the ER." "We just got home an hour ago, so I called your sister to let her know that I wouldn't be taking nephew to preschool." "I layed down to take a nap since we were at the ER all night, so I didn't call you." I am pissed because A. no one called me last night to tell me that they were at the ER- even if it werent life threatening, a trip to the ER isnt a norm. B. I found out from my boss.
I mean if DH had to take me to the ER he would def call my parents, I mean they are 15 min away. If something was going on that qualified enough for me to get him to take me to the ER, I think my parents would want to know. Thoughts?
Re: Would this pissyou off? kinda longish
I think, had this exact same scenario not happened to me, I would say "no, I wouldn't be pissed off... it wasn't life threatening so they didn't want to worry you."
However, as I stated above, this happened to me and I *did* get pissed off.
My father had a stroke 9 years ago, which was followed by surgery for a pace maker due to serious tachycardia. About 2 years ago, he was in the hospital for 4 days because his heartbeat increased in speed by a very scary number and he needed to be monitored.
No one called me or my brother to let us know what was going on.
I was so incredibly upset about that... I felt like anything could have happened in those 4 days and I wouldn't have even known about it.
Sooooo, yeah, I can say with complete honesty that if I were you it would have pissed me off that no one called to let me know about my mom.
personally, i think you have a right to be upset that no one called to tell you before you got to work (knowing your sister knew and that she obviously had called to tell the boss, why didn't she call and tell you?) but i don't think you can be upset that your mom or dad didn't called in the middle of the night or this morning, they were busy trying to care for her and get things straightened out...
they didn't want you to worry and there wasn't anything life threatening...in the next few days, calmly, i would explain to your fam. how it felt to have your boss tell you and explain that in the future you would appreciate the information come from them
This has happened to me before except they actually thought that my mom was going to die! She had an infection in her heart and spinal cord. I was in NY for the summer and my grandma and my aunt didn't call me until my mom had been in the hospital for over a week!
I was really upset about it and told them so. It still upsets me that they kept that from me. They "didn't want to worry me".
So, the answer is yes, that would definitely piss me off.
Yeah, I'd be ticked. MIL does this with DH. In fact she did it while he was away on his trip last week. She called me after they'd been to the ER two days in a row w/FIL. As far as we know right now it isn't a huge issue, but she called me after two ER visits and then told me not to tell DH until he was back home.
I called him right away and told him b/c I thought he had a right to know.
I think sometimes parent's forget their children are adults too.
I'd be hurt and a little upset about that. Even though, thankfully, it was nothing, it's still nice to know that it happened. You always want to be apprised of your loved one's health.
Maybe just be honest and tell them how you feel. Ask them if you went to the ER, even if it was for something non-life threatning like a sprain, wouldn't they want to know when you got home?