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Me:29 DH: 31.....Married: 12/11/04.....Implanon removal: 6/17/2013....TTC#1 6/2013
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TMJ and braces
I've been one to lurk more than post. I believe this is my first post. Do any of you have TMJ? I have it and it hurts so bad when I'm giving a BJ to my DH. He just doesn't seem to care....of course when my jaw starts hurting, I take a little break, but he seems to get so frustrated when I do that. Yes, he knows I have TMJ, but he just doesn't seem to care at all. Drives me insane! I do love my DH, and he is a wonderful guy but this really bothers me.
Also, over the summer, I'm finally getting braces! Yes, a 26 year old with braces. Now, my question is; how do you give oral with your braces? Will your braces cut the inside of your lips? I'm hoping for an out here because my jaw hurts so much anyways.
TIA for any advice!
Me:29 DH: 31.....Married: 12/11/04.....Implanon removal: 6/17/2013....TTC#1 6/2013
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Re: TMJ and braces
Wait, so when you have to pause for a moment mid-blow because of a medical condition your DH gets frustrated and doesn't care at all that you're in pain?
Here's an idea: stop giving him BJs. He sounds like a jerk.
He gets frustrated when you stop? I hope he's playing with you too in all of this!! Without the obvious judgment of "he sounds like a douche" though...
Stop opening your mouth so much if it hurts, you don't have to constantly be putting him in as far as you can. you can always use your tongue and your hands more, use both hands at the same time. Instead of having to 'take a break" this way you can just switch it up a little more.
When you have braces I'd probably just stick to hands/tongue and intercourse so that you don't cut yourself inside your mouth, or him.
Well, it's just my hand job isn't as great as using my mouth. When I pause, I try using my hand and it's usually when he's really getting into it so I don't know. It's been bothering me about this issue and I don't know how to convince him how much pain I'm in. I actually have quite a few medical problems (a bulging disc and migraines are others) so it seems like I'm always complaining about something. He, of course, is in perfect health so he doesn't seem to understand the pain I'm in.
And, I do promise he isn't a jerk ALL the time.
Thanks for your advice! I cannot wait to get braces if it will give my jaw a break
. I'm on the track to fixing my TMJ (the orthodontist is not positive that it's treatable) and braces are the first step (plus I'm excited to finally have straight teeth). I have been using my tongue more during my breaks and that seems to make him happy, but in the beginning, it was just my hand. I'll try both hands next time as well.
Thanks again!
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I vote for this. Seriously it doesn't matter how nice he is all day long, if he's an jerk about this, that just makes him a plain old jerk.
A wonderful guy that doesnt care if you are in pain!
I had braces and they do not cut the inside of your lips.
I have TMJ and can relate to your pain...sometimes I'm fine and others it flares up. For him to not even try to understand (especially being your H) kind of boggles my mind! Granted, I don't know him, but it seems rather selfish of him to get annoyed by it. If I'm starting to hurt during the process, BF will initiate moving to something else. While he doesn't know my pain, he is at least empathetic towards it.
There are medical things you can do to relieve the pain (botox injections, physical therapy, etc)...maybe you could look into that??? Better yet, take him with you to the doctor and have it explained to him that this is a valid and painful problem. I get migraines too (that's related to the TMJ) and it seems like there's always something wrong with me, but it's still no reason for him to act like that!
I have worked as an ortho asst and now manage an ortho practice (25+ yrs) and had TMD so I will offer some info.
TMD is often caused by your bite being off. Teeth need to fit like a chain on a bicycle or the bite is off. Is your TMD caused by trauma (auto accident/whiplash, injury to face) or is it because your bite is off? When we have TMD patients who are experiencing headaches, popping, clicking, pain in the TMJ area, we send them for cone beam x-rays (like 4D x-rays). This is totally different than a panorex or cephalometric x-ray. Had a new patient who actually broke his jaw five years before in a car accident and it was not caught by the ER x-rays but it was clearly shown on the cone beam x-rays. These x-rays can also detect degeneration of the joints. It is not unusual for someone who has arthritis to have TMD.
TMJ can also be aggravated if your jaw is too narrow. Opening wide for extended periods of time, caffeine intake, chewing gum and resting your jaw on the palm of your hand, among other things, can bother it, also.
As for pain with braces, you are an adult and your teeth have been set in the jaws for many years . Adult patients usually have a little more discomfort than a teen because their teeth have been in that position for many years and your bone is no longer spongy like a child's. We tell our patients they could be sore the first 7-10 days because we are moving the teeth and you have something totally new in your mouth. We suggest sticking to softer foods (pastas, fish, no thick meat that requires a lot of chewing) the first few days. Also take whatever you usually take for a headache according to the bottle directions to assist with discomfort. As PP said, use the wax. Current ortho patients usually have adjustments every 6-8 weeks, and with some special bracket systems called Damien, those patient have adjusted every 12 weeks. You should only move the teeth so many mm between visits or the tooth root can be injuried. Moving teeth is like baking a cake-you can not cut the cooking time significantly or you will likely have problems with the teeth later on!
Ask your orthodontist if all braces will be placed at first placement or just upper or lower. We do only upper or lower at first placement. Since you have TMD, I would NOT allow all braces to be placed at first placement because you will be holding your mouth open too long and you will be super sore since all your teeth will be moving instead of gradually working into the treatment. Treatment should be prioritized and clearly outlined to you in writing before anything is placed in your mouth. If it is not, go elsewhere.
And one final piece of advise: Make sue you are being treated by an orthodontist who is experienced with treating TMD patients. There are a lot of dentist who "do braces" so many people think their dentist is an orthodontist. An orthodontist has an additional 2-3 years of training in growth/development, tooth movement, etc after four years of dental school. If your doctor can do fillings, extractions, and braces, they are not an orthodontist. When someone becomes an orthodontist, they give up their ability to treat these types of procedures on patients and only specialize in orthodontic treatment. I speak with probably 1-2 patient/parents per month who have had braces elsewhere (and need additional treatment because the bite was not finished properly!) and assume the person doing their treatment was an orthodontist because "they do braces." I have seen some real nightmares!!
Good luck!
You are in pain and your H doesn't care and wants you to continue on??!
lucky for you, BJs stop after the nuptials
What she said. He'll learn to stop complaining and appreciating....hopefully. Otherwise, dump his selfish a$s.
Don't use braces as a way to "get out" of a BJ. If it hurts or you don't want to, you don't have to. My DH knows that BJ's are totally on my terms, even if he asks for it.
I am a dental hygienist and if it is something u enjoy doing then try to get some advil in you b4 giving OS to hubby to brinh down any inflammation of the joint and here is soemthing to make you laugh... my boss is 46 and she has braces and her hubby wants bjs all the times BUT she says you just cant do it... like putting penis in a blender so offer that one up to him???????
nannewmur, Thanks so much for taking the time to post this. I found it very informative. I haven't been diagnosed with TMJ or TMD yet. But I have been having some pretty major symptoms, very painful headaches, jaw pain & fatigue, loud clicking whenever I open my mouth past a certain point. Anyways, I'll make sure to keep this in mind.
OP, I agree with everyone else, use your hands & tongue more. If your guy really likes you using your mouth it's easier to fake if he's laying down and you're to the side of him. That way he mostly sees the back of your head, and that way he can imagine what he wants. :-)
Also, on the braces thing, it did make it harder to give a bj. Just because my mouth is very small. But if you use the wax (above poster) you should be fine, but it did seem to tire my jaw out quickly.
And, your guy needs to be more understanding. You need to sit down and talk with him (not during an intimate moment!) and explain that when he says/does these things, it hurts you. That if he truly cares about you, he won't want you to be in pain.
Best of Luck!!
nannewmur, thank you for the wonderful advice!! My ortho dr. is wonderful and has explained to me that braces may not make my TMD go away, but it will be helpful. I got TMD by getting a root canal and then kept letting my jaw click away. I did not know that I could have just kept my mouth shut for awhile and it probably would have gone away. So yeah.
Back to my husband, he is much better. I did have a talk with him and explained how bad it hurts. He is much nicer during BJ's...lol. Which he should be because I don't have to do them. I'm just so glad that I wasn't alone in thinking how much of a jerk he was being. I thought it was all in my head or something.
Sorry this post is so late....I recently graduated from college (yay!) with a teaching degree. I was so busy with those last months, I barely had time to breathe. It was well worth it, though! Now, just to find that job...haha.
Thanks again, girls! You all are wonderful!