November 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
If you have a SIL are you good friends?
DH and his brother really push SIL and I to be friends, I supppose since they are so close they really want us to be too. She is drama and is always starting stuff between the other women in our group. Think the conference call scene in "Mean Girls" when they are like "So and so said this about you" then she tells that person that you said something about them and so on. I have finally learned to just ignore most of everything that she says, but it is so frustrating to be around all the time. She started such a huge fight between DH and I before the wedding that I almost called it off (thank God, he finally talked sense into me and I started to realize at that point how manipulative she really is). I've tried to explain to DH that its the same as if I tried to make him be close friends with one of my sister's DB boyfriends, he would never go for it. So, just wondering am I alone here? I am always nice to her, and family holidays aside, if you have a SIL that you aren't really that compatible with are you "forced" to be friends with her?
Re: If you have a SIL are you good friends?
That's a sucky situation. . .Is it your H who is the twin? Or is that someone else? If so, that double sucks. My twin and I are super close, and we really want our DHs to be friends, but we haven't lived in the same state. Now that I'm moving home, I will try to remember your situation, and not try to force things between them. They get along just fine, but I don't think they were meant to be bffs.
I have 1 SIL (N's brother's wife), and I really do love her, so I'm lucky
.
I'm not forced to be friends with either of my SIL's. They're about 10 yrs older, but I really like them & they're both different. I'm not BFF's with them-they don't live too close, but we'll hang at holidays and stuff.
I think they're just happy to have a fellow SIL that does things w the family and enjoys it!
You can't be forced to like someone. It just doesn't work that way. Just being civil is all they can really ask. GL!
Yep, they are twins, I think that's part of the problem and they live pretty close to us.
That's definitely part of the problem. . . I don't have a good solution for you, but I'm glad you brought it up, so that I won't make the same mistake!
No, not really. We're pretty far apart in age - I'm 29 and she's 42. She thinks anyone under 35 is a moron, and says so out loud. I hope she doesn't think I'm a moron.
She's told me in the past that anyone who gets married younger than 30 is doomed to have their marriage fail and that no one should have children younger than age 40.
Um WOW!!!!
Yeah, we were taking a walk when she told me that. I didn't really know how to respond....so I mumbled something incoherently.
I have a SIL, who I do like a lot, but she's kind of in a mixed up stage of her life right now. She's very sweet in theory, but she has a bit of mean streak that comes out with family and on facebook that disturbs me. She also seems to unconciously a little racist (I think this is coming from be isolated in white-as-wonder CT and her loser BF) which disturbs me, but she's young and immature. In time I hope she straightens out. She has a lot in common with my sister. I wouldn't be suprised if THEY ended up becoming friends (our siblings really enjoyed hanging out at the wedding and keep trying to get together).
I am closer to my BIL, who is 17 so that's a bit different. My brother and husband love to hang out together, but I haven't met a single person on earth who didn't love my brother.
I don't think you HAVE to be friends with her. You can be polite and civil, but I wouldn't want to be friends with her either!
My SIL and I didn't get along until a few months ago (when we had that long azz chat and found out MIL was most of the problem), we are starting to now get pretty close. She is 21 and still quite immature, but I don't let that bother me because I was 21 once too and said and did stupid sh!t. She is the only sibling M has to she's my only sibling-in-law. It is also not a forced issue, but our choice.
I only have 1 sibling myself, my brother and he and M do not get along at all, never have and probably never will and I will never force it. In fact the issues are so big my brother was not invited to the wedding (I was also going through lots of drama, as usual, with him at the time as well and just didn't want to deal with him, I now have to live with the fact that I didn't have my brother at my wedding, but I can't say I regret it because at the time it's what I wanted).
I have a BIL and a FBIL who are both cool guys, but we're not tight or anything. I'm not really that close to my sisters, either, though.
J has a cousin that is like a sister to him, but he doesn't like her much. She's 19 and as clueless as they come. I have tried to be closer to her, but she's a manipulator...and since she can tell I won't participate in her BS by giving her money and gifts and generally paying for things, she is not interested in a relationship with me. No loss there.
I have one SIL and she is an awesome person I just don't have tons in common with her. I'm not forced in any way to be friends with her but we do get along when we hang out.
I'm sorry that your SIL is manipulative. You hubs should realize that just because you are related does not mean you need to be best buddies.