New moms...

MyrtleB656

Two of my good friends, one the same age as me (29) and the other several years younger (24) became moms in the last two weeks. Everyone's looking at me and asking why I'm not procreating.....I was very involved in the second birth and nothing about it looks worth it. I have zero mommy pull. Am I broken? Is everyone meant to be a parent?

ssthomps

I am not a mom, but I wanted to put in my two cents. I feel like if you are not ready for kids then don't force the feelings. Not everyone is meant to be parents, and that is ok. It is each couples choice to decide what is right for them. Also when people ask you about your parenting decisions, just tell them that you guys have a lot going on and leave it at that. Good luck with everything!

Virginny

I have always felt the "mommy" calling. DH and I have talked about kids since we began dating. BUT, it is not all puppies and rainbows. The days are HARD and the nights are HARDER. And sometimes I really have to take a deep breath and regain my composure and patience. Don't get me wrong, I love our son more than life itself. But when you haven't gotten more than 4 hours sleep at one time for more than 3 months, you get irritable. DH and I have had some challenges re: parenting style, who will do the chores, cook dinner, put baby to bed, alone time for the 2 of us, finances, etc.

It is a complete sacrifice. Last night when everyone went out for St. Patty's day and I saw all the FB photos of my girlfriends drinking and having a good time, I was home alone putting a fussy baby to bed and finishing household stuff. If you don't think you are ready to say goodbye to your old life, going out whenever you want, taking a shower whenever you want, spending quality time with DH or even having dinner at the same time......I suggest waiting. I knew our lives would change, but I never imagined the challenges that would come along with it.

Our baby needs to be near or on me 24/7, he is high maintenance. Being a mommy is not only emotionally draining, but also physically draining. I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China and we plan on having more children (God, help me)

But definitely enjoy your time as a couple and enjoy being you, an individual. After baby comes along, you are "Baby's Mommy"

MyrtleB656

Thank you both for your honest opinions. I know it's not for me now. If it happens later, great. If never, I'm happy with that too! Virginny - you are a trooper - natural? No way! Either way, I really appreciate the advice. I think I'll just tell everyone bugging me to bugger off.  

tml0701

To be perfectly honest I never liked to even be around babiesthey annoyed me.  ANd I always thought My dog was cuter than any baby haha but I knew I wanted to have a family if only we could skip to when they were older and had family Sunday dinners.  I'm 32 and I just felt that if I was going to have a family I had to start even though I really wasn't ready and I just really didn't like babies that much so I was incredibly scared and thought I was going to be the worst mom but once I had my little daughter it just came instantly and I love her so much and can't imagine being without her now.  It is just so crazy how it works and people would say that to me and I wouldn't believe them so you may not really understand until you get there.  I would make a timeline for yourself, if you see yourself with a family plan it out as far as the years in between kids and your age.  If you don't see yourself with kids that is totally fine too!! If down the line you decide you do want a child there are so many people that are having kids at an older age but there are higher risks.  We also talked about adopting so that is always an option too. BUt DON"T feel pressured by anyone! This is your decision

britishbride05

i love my baby, but am not impressed by (almost) anyone else's.  I never had the "calling" to be a mom... I swore up and down I would NEVER have kids.  And then otu of nowhere, it hit me.  I wanted to have a family with DH.  It's hard, like Virginia said, VERY hard... and now we have 2, so it's not exactly going to be easy for awhile lol  I miss going out with my friends, sleeping in, taking off with DH whenever we please... but I wouldn't trade it.  I love my  little family, despite the lack of freedom lol

YOU need to do what's best for YOU and your dh.... not what's best for everyone else.  Everyone's different.

I have a problem with family and friends bugging others about conceiving.  It's noone's business.  The next time someone asks you, just tell them you're having a BLAST just practicing for now