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*** Lori (diva and mama to Libby) ***
Married2MrWright:
Is the nursery ready? Do you have all of your gear?
Nearly! We're soooo close now.
Today Ben repainted the change table (it was used and the paint was
chipping in places) and the wooden base of the rocking chair as well.
That means that this week, all I have left to do is wash and set up the
bedding sets (they should arrive tomorrow) and reupholster the two
rocking chair cushions (MIL is helping me with this...it's pretty simple
and I could do it solo but I got the impression she's wanting to
contribute something so I thought this would be a good, simple thing for us to
do together).
Non-nursery things left to do...pack my
hospital bag, buy a diaper bag (the one I want is waaaay cheaper in the
USA so it will be another thing I'll have sent to my mom) and buy some
nursing bras (I have 4 nursing tanks, but no bras). I'm sure there are a
few other little things, but that's all of the major stuff. Oh, and I have to cut the cloth for the Moby wraps - I have it sitting on my dining room table, I just haven't actually cut it into the long strips yet.
Only one week paternity leave? I guess it's better than nothing, but sheesh! .....
Sounds like with your mom and his mom you'll have those first tenuous weeks covered (I imagine they are even more challenging with two newborns). I could not have done this without my mom here.
..... Probably helps that she's a chunky baby and feels sturdy (she's nearly 16 lbs!) so we aren't as worried about handling her, etc.
Yeah,
our company has a fabulous maternity leave policy but pretty
much nil for fathers. Luckily we get 4 weeks of vacation time a year, so
Ben has a bunch saved up - even after taking a month off after the
babies are born, he'll still have more than enough to take a week off
when my dad and stepmom are here in July as well.
I'm looking
forward to my mom being here, but at the same time I'm kind of worried
that two weeks under the same roof will make me lose my mind.
She's...ugh, it's SO hard to describe. She kind of has a martyr complex and can be so...apologetic. I
know that sounds like a really stupid thing to complain about, but I can just
see this conversation about a million times over those two weeks: "Lisa, would you
like me to hold the babies so you can have a shower? I can if you want
me to. Of course, if you don't want me to, you can just say so. I
wouldn't want to intrude on your routine or how you want to do things.
Do you want me to? I don't have to. Like I said, I wouldn't want to intrude. Just let me know." And so on for 5
minutes. She's a wonderful woman but sometimes I just want to grab her
by the shoulders and say "OMG! Stop it!" Maybe I'm too harsh...
Eeeek!
Libby is so big! Not that she was a tiny baby to begin with, but I
can't believe she's up to 16lbs already! WOW!
I love that they're giving you a go at vaginal birth...good for you and your docs! Are you thinking of going without pain meds or ???
Ehhhh...we'll see
about the pain meds. Honestly, I have no firm plans one way or another.
If I'm in labor and I think to myself, "OK this is bad, but I can do it
without meds" then that's cool. But if I decide I want an epidural, I don't
have a problem with that either and I won't hesitate to ask for one. To
be totally honest, based on my knowledge of my pain tolerance, I think
it's likely that I'll end up getting one. This will probably mean that I
won't be very popular with the nurses at the hospital (with only a few exceptions, they're
notoriously anti-pain meds and I've been told by more than one mother that they were treated rudely after they requested pain relief), but
oh well, they can deal with it.
Re: *** Lori (diva and mama to Libby) ***
It's all coming together...cannot wait to see pics!
I'd go with the nursing tanks for the first few weeks if possible. Your boobs will get fuller and then settle down once your supply is established. I didn't get my bras until Libby was 3 weeks old. The tanks were fine since I barely left the house...when I did I just wore one of the bigger bras from the end of my pregnancy (and made sure to nurse Libby RIGHT before leaving so she wouldn't need to nurse again until we got home).
I am glad you're DIYing the wrap carriers...so easy and cheap. What color did you get? Now that Libby is heavier and longer, it's hard to wear her in the stretchy wrap. I want to get a woven, but they are $$$ even used. So I am going to try some cotton gauze and see how that works for us. I like the wrap because it's so versatile, but I know some people think it's a PITA to put on. I have learned to wrap it on while she's on my lap and also just put it on when I have set her down for a minute (like on the changing table). It takes a minute or so....
I am also looking into getting an Ergo...but I want to find a place to try it on and make sure it will work for my body. Trouble is...there's like NO retailers in Tulsa (people are very stroller/infant carrier oriented here)...so I am looking to see if I can find it anywhere to try out before buying.
Glad you have lots of help lined up for those first several weeks...it will be so great. Just having my mom around helped a ton and then also when my BFFs came (Libby was 4 and 5 weeks respectively). Not only to help with her, but also just to have someone to bounce ideas off of and ask questions of...and mainly be reassured that all is normal/fine.
For your mom...maybe you can just lay out the boundaries from the start...like "I am so glad you're here. Feel free to jump in at anytime and if I feel it's too much I'll let you know..." or something like that. Unless you don't want her too. Whatever you want just let her know from the start so it's not awkward. With my mom she knew we'd like her to be our "back-up"...since she lives with us I didn't want her to feel we were relying on her to do any primary care. So she's good about asking, for example, if Libby has just awoken from a nap, "Do you want me to get her and change her?" Sometimes I say "sure, that'd be great!" or sometime I say, "No thanks, I've got it." Communication is key...especially in those first few weeks when your brain is drained from exhaustion and emotions and the mind is mush!
You'll figure it out...I hope you and Ben enjoy these last couple of weeks of coupledom...even if you're feeling less than perky...snuggle together and watch your favorite movies...look over your photos of when you were first dating and your wedding...reconnect. Once those babies arrive you might feel like two ships passing in the night for a while and you'll be glad that you had some special time together before they arrived. At least I know I was happy to have done that before Libby came. It wasn't until she was about 4 weeks old that Joseph and I had any quality time together, alone.
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You know, I kinda thought that about the nursing tanks, but every hospital bag checklist etc. keeps saying to pack nursing bras as well, so I thought maybe I was wrong. Meh, I'll just wait. My nursing tanks have pretty good support built in, so I don't even mind wearing them out of the house (in fact, I've been doing that a lot lately because nothing else fits!).
The fabric I got for the wraps is just navy blue, nothing exciting. The fabric store where I live isn't very big (surprise, surprise lol), so they didn't have a huge selection in the weight that I wanted - I think there was bright green, pink, grey, black and navy.
I want Ergos for when they're a bit older as well, but I have the same problem you do - there are NO retailers in this area! Actually, it seems pretty uncommon for anyone to wear their baby here...since we've moved here, I've literally seen one person (that I noticed, anyway) with their baby in a sling. Everyone else has a stroller. And now with the whole infant-death-in-slings thing, people keep telling me how dangerous it will be for us to use wraps until my mom arrives here with the stroller. *sigh*
I guess I'm not sure *how* to be clear with my mom. I know that sounds really stupid, but I just don't know what to tell her. She asked me a while back what "duties" I wanted her to do while she was here, and I was taken a bit off guard...I don't have a roster of care or anything.
I told her, "Well, you know...just...pitch in here and there, watch them when I need a shower, that kind of thing." I'm not sure what else to say, because in a way I don't KNOW what help I'll need yet. I can guess, but until I'm actually there in the moment, I just don't know.
It's funny that you mentioned the last few weeks of coupledom...a few nights ago, I sat Ben down and explained to him how important it is to me that we keep our relationship strong and connected (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.) and that this will probably be difficult during the first couple of months, just because we'll be so wrapped up in the babies' needs etc. I just don't want us to be taken by surprise at how little time we have for each other during that initial adjustment period. So we've talked about how we'll try to cope with that, and have both been making more of an effort to cuddle, etc. for this last little period of time before the babies arrive.