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BR: extreme torture
So I start back in the office twice a week next Tuesday. My mom and J will share in Libby's care while I am out for 8 hours those two days each week for April and then I'll be back five days a weeks starting in May.
My mom and J asked that we do a "practice run" today...i.e. pretend I am back at work and they tag team Libby. So J and I got up at 6 a.m. after I nursed Libby and went about my day as if I would be headed into work. My mom was up at 7 am (I'll be at the office by then), Libby was sleeping after her morning feed.
I "commuted" to work this morning...to my bedroom where we have a small office set up and started working (I am working from home part-time this week). Libby awoke at 9 a.m. for her mid-morning feed and I have been sitting here listening to her cry, off-and-on, through the wall for the past hour. It's pure hell. I want to run in there and nurse her and calm her down. I can hear my mom speaking sweetly and softly to her and every few minutes she stops wailing and I assume, takes the bottle. Then she starts up again. J came back to check on how I was doing and I burst into tears. It's so hard to hear your baby cry and do nothing about it. Pure torture.
But I know it's not about me and what I want to do right now...we all need for Libby to be comfortable without me while I am at work. I know she is in good, capable, loving hands and that she won't die from crying or even skipping a meal. I should have packed up my laptop and went to Panera instead of staying here and working from my bedroom. But I didn't want to have to deal with pumping there. Of course, I'd still know she was crying and unconsolable, but I wouldn't be hearing it and doing nothing about it.
I guess it's a good thing today is a "practice run" and I don't actually have to be at the office. Tuesday is going to be rough, I think. On all of us. 
Re: BR: extreme torture
I am sorry. all I can say is that I know exactly how you feel and we have been there, done that. it does get better... at least you are eventually going back FT so they will stay on top of the bottle... I have had to go through this "reconditioning" several times since I'm only working PT and Brent often lets her go too long w/o the bottle... thankfully, w/Malia's advice we've set up a calendar so hopefully that won't happen anymore.
I know it's sooo hard but soon she will be better.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Ugh, I'm so sorry. It's hard to listen to your baby cry!
I always thought I'd be one of those "ok, cry, get it out, get over it, I'm not going to be a slave to this kid" moms. But apparently not - I find it SO hard to listen to him cry!
At least when you are actually at work you won't hear it. And hopefully you'll be distracted enough that you won't think about them every second. I now look forward to their calls during the day where I can hear LO coo and laugh, and he can hear my voice and look around and try to figure out where I am!
Sorry Lori! That sounds like torture.
hugs!
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