Same-Sex Households
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Married with kids, but have different thoughts lately.
I am not sure where to start. I am married, with two small children and one on the way. It seems the past few months I have been having these thoughts about what it would be like to be with someone other than my husband, and I don't mean another man. That's my problem. It seems like I am constantly thinking about other women. No one I know personally, just in general. I was listening to a local radio station the other day and they had protestors outside their studio (The Phelps family) because they are a station that promotes gay/lesbian relationships. The entire time I was listening to the station I just kept thinking that I will never be able to share these thoughts with anyone for fear of being criticized or worse. I don't want to lose my children, and I do still love my husband, I am just not sure where these thoughts have come from. Maybe it's the hormones, I have no idea. If anyone can offer advice, or may know someone who went through this and how they handled it, I would really appreciate some words of wisdome. And I suppose some people on this site may judge me too, but I needed to see if there was anyone out there like me. And I am not a religious person, never have been, so that kind of advice really isn't what I need, your god won't save me, or what ever else it is you think will happen because of my thoughts.
Re: Married with kids, but have different thoughts lately.
I kinda wonder if you're a troll since this is your first post, but in case you're not, or someone reading is in a similar situation:
I'm bisexual, happily married to a woman, and I think about/fantasize about having sex with men. It's part of my nature. I get crushes on male celebs and even occasionally male friends. I'm open about these feelings with my wife and it's not a big deal to either of us; she knows that I would never cheat on her and that I'm not interested in bringing any third parties into our bed (or marriage). I made a conscious choice to be with her alone when we got married, and stray thoughts won't change that.
What I don't understand about your post is why you think that having these thoughts means you might lose your kids. That's awfully dramatic, don't you think? People don't lose their kids for having sexy thoughts about the girl behind the counter at the bakery.
As far as how to handle it, I can think of several possibilities:
1) Have the thoughts and don't act on them
2) Have the thoughts and act on them solo, through exploring books, movies, etc. on your own
3) Have an honest discussion with your husband: that you love him, are fully committed to him/the kids, but are having thoughts about women lately, and see where it leads
4) Waste time and energy trying to suppress your natural desires and feeling guilty about them
Notice that I didn't mention "make out with your best friend" or "have an affair with a woman." I do consider those to be factual possibilities, but they shouldn't happen before # 3, above. You made a commitment to this man and he deserves your honesty if you really, after thorough self-reflection, feel you must act on these desires with another person.
This is me, except that I ended up marrying a man instead of a woman. I'm going to say ditto to everything that leap said.
I told my husband I am bisexual from the start, and having him know was such a relief.
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
"meegs"
I am curious how you fulfill the bi-sexual side of yourself? Do u have a regular GF?
Is there a way to write directly to each other on here? Would love to chat sometime!!
J
@joylee, bisexuality doesn't mean you neeeeed one of each sex.
It just means you're capable of being attracted to someone regardless of what sex they are. It doubles your chances for a date. 
If you fall in love with someone of the opposite sex the world will see you as straight; if it's someone of the same sex the world will see you as gay.
@OP, fantasizing means nothing on its own. So many women are raised to believe they should never ever have any sexual thoughts outside of being in bed with their husbands. You know what? Men have fantasies all the time, and are excited by other people of whatever sex they prefer, and most of them don't cheat when they're in a solid relationship. If you don't want to cheat, you don't want to cheat, and imagination is not cheating!