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Would you even care?

I have a loud mouth 14 year old SIL. Love her but she's in her terrible teens and so she says things often before she understands the implications of what she says.

 Long story short cousin in law announces she's preggo at Easter yesterday. Great! Yey for cousin. We're all pumped for her- they were trying. Yes

However that makes me the ONLY married female in our family sans fetus in utero or child in arm.  Whatevs dude. We're not trying- we don't want kids right now- I want a dog more than I want a baby at this point. Cool

However- teenage SIL doesn't let me forget that I'm pushing 30 and my ovaries are potentially going to go :::kaput::: in a few years Confused

So all sorts of loud in front of the entire family she starts asking me when- and telling me I'm going to hit menopause soon blah blah blah (In joke of course) and it's funny at first then I just get really fekking annoyed. Normally I would just ignore her teenage antics but her loudness induced questions from other family members like:

How old are you again?How much longer do you think you'll wait?  Why are you waiting?

 And I just want to scream "OH FOR FEKS SAKE PLEASE LEAVE MY OVARIES OUT OF THE FAMILIAL CONVERSATION" 

 Which is eventually what I did- walked out of the room and announced that my ovaries were perfectly happy in hibernation and we should not speak of them again.  Family eventually left me alone.

 Wow this turned out much longer than I expected-- ok here's my question:

 

Would you ask hubs to talk to teenage SIL about shutting her trap re: my uterus

or

 Would you just keep on keepin on and just ignore teenage SIL?


 I just don't want to start drama- or get MIL involved in this since it requires speaking to her precious little baybay.

TIA

 

 

Re: Would you even care?

  • Respond how I do when my SIL starts in on that subject:

     tell her that would require you and her brother to have sex, and that isn't happening. It should shut her up... it did with my (40-something) SIL.

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  • people are lame and need to mind their own beezwax.

    I'd say something to her because it would annoy me, especially since it sounds like she enjoys bringing it up when there are large groups of people present.

    Left Hug yahpee Right Hug

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  • imagenabum:

    Respond how I do when my SIL starts in on that subject:

     tell her that would require you and her brother to have sex, and that isn't happening. It should shut her up... it did with my (40-something) SIL.

    I totally would  except hubs would probably catch wind of it and would NOT be happy with that response.  Plus that's bad karma dude. I don't want to throw that out there into the universe. Wink

  • What I think I should do and what I'd probably do are two different things. I'm non confrontational, so I'd probably just ignore her and vent to someone else in private.

    But I would want to say something to SIL. Tell her that she may not understand the ramifications of what she says, how it puts pressure on you guys, etc. She obviously doesn't realize what she's saying and how it affects you. I'd kindly let her know and ask not to mention your uterus in the future!

  • I wouldn't say anything but if she does it again I would pull her aside and tell her that subject is none of her business.
  • imagepinkpuffyhearts:
    I wouldn't say anything but if she does it again I would pull her aside and tell her that subject is none of her business.

    This.

    This is a sore subject for me bc I am so sick of my cousins asking me this.  A while ago, about a year or so, I told them that Mark and I would start ttc when we had $500k saved up (not true of course) and that we were ALMOST THERE.  They are jelly people so that shut them up.

    I mean people really have no filter and half a brain sometimes.  Does she not think that maybe there's a possibility that you're not prego bc you are having probs getting preg?  Or maybe you had a miscarriage?  Do people not think of that?  My H asked someone once about why they weren't preg yet (gasp) and she said they had 2 losses.  Yeah he never EVER asks anyone anymore.

  • image10YearsTogether:

    imagepinkpuffyhearts:
    I wouldn't say anything but if she does it again I would pull her aside and tell her that subject is none of her business.

    This.

    This is a sore subject for me bc I am so sick of my cousins asking me this.  A while ago, about a year or so, I told them that Mark and I would start ttc when we had $500k saved up (not true of course) and that we were ALMOST THERE.  They are jelly people so that shut them up.

    I mean people really have no filter and half a brain sometimes.  Does she not think that maybe there's a possibility that you're not prego bc you are having probs getting preg?  Or maybe you had a miscarriage?  Do people not think of that?  My H asked someone once about why they weren't preg yet (gasp) and she said they had 2 losses.  Yeah he never EVER asks anyone anymore.

     

    She's 14. Trust that she is NOT thinking of anything like that. Totally oblivious to anything sensitive like that. She just plain out thinks she's being so cute and funny by putting me on the spot (not to mention calling me old)

    See- I have been ignoring her because she's a teenager and she'll get over it eventually. But part of me wants to say something to her because I think there's a lesson to be learned here for her. 

    But then again- it's not my fekking place to teach her anything. I aint her momma. If anything hubs should talk to her no? 

     Or ignore her all together..

     

  • image10YearsTogether:

    Does she not think that maybe there's a possibility that you're not prego bc you are having probs getting preg?  Or maybe you had a miscarriage?  Do people not think of that? 

    I've been tempted to say something like this when people have asked just to shut them up.

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  • imageYahpee:
       If anything hubs should talk to her no?

    Yes. I think he should be the one to pull her aside and tell her that what she is saying is inappropriate and none of her business.

    If you want to be more confrontational, you could always ask her questions about her period. I'm sure a 14 y.o. would love to talk about that in front of the family.

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  • I have a different relationship with my 14 year old SIL.  I would totally take her aside and explain to her why it's not okay for her to keep doing this.  Then we'd fight a bit.  Make up.  And hug it out. 

    In your situation, I would def. have H talk to her and explain it to her.  

    If you just ignore it, she's not going to learn anything from it.  She'll keep doing it.  You'll keep getting annoyed.  

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  • imagestarlily313:

    If you want to be more confrontational, you could always ask her questions about her period. I'm sure a 14 y.o. would love to talk about that in front of the family.

    Best. Answer. Ever.

     

    If it were me, I would likely burst out crying in front of the entire family. It's an emotional subject for me and I don't handle it gracefully. I think your husband should have a little chat with his sister just so she understands your point of view and learn something from the situation. 

  • imagestarlily313:

    If you want to be more confrontational, you could always ask her questions about her period. I'm sure a 14 y.o. would love to talk about that in front of the family.

    I'm completely on board with this idea. Sometimes people just need to mind their beeswax.  It's like when I get asked if I'm dating someone or planning on having another kid.  None of your effing business, family or not there should be a line!

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  • imagepinkybooklover09:
    If you want to be more confrontational, you could always ask her questions about her period. I'm sure a 14 y.o. would love to talk about that in front of the family.

    I am not sure about this one.  I mean, do you REALLY want to know and is she the type that would really get into the conversation and tell everyone her ups and downs about it.  That seems silly.  Personally, I would just confront her about it directly, whether it be you or your DH.  I wouldn't wait for another episode to happen again, before you finally confront her about it. 

     

  • I know I'm late to the game, but being a teenager isn't an excuse to be an ***. She doesn't get a free pass to be a d!ck because of her age. Someone needs to tell her to STFU, and I vote for YH, because she's his sister.
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  • Late in the game here but Aline, knowing you and his family a long time and how long you've been a part of his family, I say you absolutely have every right to pull her aside and tell her thats inappropriate.  She obviously feels comfortable enough with you to talk to you like that.  I say you tell her to back off... just nicely.  :)
  • Also, who cares if you are pushing 30!  These days people could be pushing 50 and having kids.  Doesn't matter.  My old neighbor is 42 and expecting (shoot me if I was her... but they chose to do it this way) 
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