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Husband Complains Not Enough BJ's
I figure this is probably a common issue. I don't do this very often, because I really don't like it. It's hard to breathe through my nose, it seems very demeaning (even though I know it's not supposed to), I don't enjoy the taste at the end... Does this make me a bad wife? I still do it occasionally (once every few months), even though I don't want to, just to try to make him happy. But, he wants me to do it all the time. He does enjoy giving it, so he doesn't understand my apprehension. I don't like him to do it often because I don't want to be unfair.
We don't have any other real issues in the bedroom. I tend to have sex most of the time when he wants even if I am not really in the mood. We usually do 2-3 times/week. I am somewhat reserved, but I try to be open to positions, outfits, etc... Most of the time he acts like everything is fine, but when he gets upset about something, then it all just comes back up. He complains that I don't do this enough, or he complains that I don't get super excited about it and go all crazy like a porn star. Today he moved all of his stuff into the guest bedroom.
Am I really being unreasonable about this ladies, or is he just throwing a tantrum?
Re: Husband Complains Not Enough BJ's
Finish him with your hand if you don't want cvm in your mouth.
It's not demeaning (unless he is holding the back of your head, is he?). That is sommething you need to get over on your own.
I disagree with this! If you're uncomfortable with something you should talk about it.
His moving into the guest bedroom seems pretty extreme. Is there anything else you forgot to tell us?
Have you told him all this? Is he still pressuring you to do something you really don't want to do?
If you have, then he ass would be getting mighty comfy in that guest room.
It sounds like your trying to be accommodating and he's being a big baby. He bitches when you don't give him head, he bitches about how you give him head when you do...
Honestly, I don't love to do it, I mix it into foreplay some, but rarely make it to the finish line. Dh has never ever thrown a fit about it and if he did, I'd be the one moving to the guest room.
Why the hell would you want to try when he gives you trouble about how your doing it?
"Why the hell would you want to try when he gives you trouble about how your doing it? "
That's what I told him.
"His moving into the guest bedroom seems pretty extreme. Is there anything else you forgot to tell us? "
No, he's just impulsive. I usually try to ignore his tantrums because he just gets it out of his system & is happy again in a few minutes. His brutal honesty can be a blessing at times. I just found this to be particularly insulting.
Of course it feels demeaning. He demands it and biitches instead of talking about it and working on making you more comfortable. I mean if you like receiving, maybe some 69 might make you more amenable.
But all that is besides the point. He's a manipulative doucher. Let him sleep in the guest bedroom or put his shiit on the porch and burn it.
Either way, he's a chicken dinner in need of a come to Jesus talk. And if that doesn't work, tell him to go fuuk himself and find another woman to treat like his own personal sex toy.
Click me, click me!
How old are you guys? And did you not sleep together before marriage?
"How old are you guys? And did you not sleep together before marriage?"
I'm almost 31, he's almost 33 (been together for 6 years, married for 2). We lived together (and, yes we had sex) before marriage. This situation (frequency, etc...) has not changed since before marriage.
Sounds like your H needs one of these
Time to put on your big girl panties
I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
The fact that your H is referring to a porn star tells me he has been watching too much porn. He seems to omit that fact that those women are PAID to look like they enjoy it otherwise they wouldn't have a job in that industry.
No woman should be made to do something in the bedroom she is not comfortable with. If he wants to throw a tantrum- let him stay in the bdrm with his tantrum to keep him company. What will be next? he wants her to have anal sex ? NO means NO.
Impulsive? Really?
He is a total a$$wipe...tell him not to stop at the spare room tell him to keep going until all his stuff is completely out of the house.
I cant believe you put up with this crap!
Ditto this & Hindsight.
I can't believe you're so casual about 'ignoring his tantrums'- that's what I do with my 2 year old DD, not a grown @ss adult.
I really wonder about the dynamics of your relationship- he thinks that treating you like crap and making you feel bad is going to get him his way?? It needs to get him the fluck out of your house until he grows up.
did you miss the whole point?
The whole point really isn't to crap on her husband for what he did. Yes he is being immature about the way he is handling the situation, but her initial question was if she was being unreasonable about this, or is he just throwing a tantrum? I think it's a little of both, I think her expectation of giving a BJ every 2 to 3 months and him being fine with it is unreasonable, and that the continued resentment finally boiled over in an immature display on the husband's behalf.
Just based on his not getting enough head he moved into the guest bedroom.
I think there is more afoot than his complaint of a lack of head.
No one should be forced to do something against their will.
Is that not wrong?
This is clearly a communication issue. You should talk these things over and come to a clear understanding of how one feels about the other.
I understand where you are coming from, I dislike BJ's as well but I will incorporate them into foreplay cause I dont want to be the only receiver. I have found using flavored gels helps me deal with the taste (bought it at a romance party) and using a sleeve called the succulent blossom makes it more fun for me and enjoyable for him. So maybe using props will help make it easier? He has to be open and talk with you about it instead of going to extremes and leaving the bedroom though.
Other than Peter North, I'm not aware of any man on the planet that believes they receive enough oral sex, and even he may want more.
The thing to understand about oral sex and guys, is that it's very easy for us. We just lay/sit/stand there and enjoy it. It's quite nice actually.
I know I wish that I got more of it. However, based on what I'm reading here I am actually very lucky to be on the receiving end 2 or 3 times a week. Typically its part of foreplay, and leads into sex.
To answer your question...It's a bit of both. You probably are being a little unreasonable, and he is definitly throwing a fit over it.
I would highly suggest taking the advice of other posters in regards to some other methods and techiniques to make it easier for you...assuming this is something you're even interested in.
One other observation...you mentioned that you feel its degrading. How come you feel that? I've always felt that the woman is really the one in control in that situation. Do you feel it's degrading when your husband goes down on you? Ask him why he enjoys doing that (you indicate that he does it often), perhaps he can share his feelings about it, and then you may start feeling the same way.
Wow, I saw nowhere in her description anything that resembles rape. Pretty bad that you would throw that around like that.