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DH is thinking about eating meat again...
I just need to vent. We've been vegetarian since July, and I've been soooo happy with it. Yes, I have the occasional meat cravings, but they've been less and less for months and I'm super happy with my environmental impact. Plus we've been eating at home a ton more, since most restaurants only have 1 or 2 vegetarian dishes. DH told me yesterday that he's thinking about adding meat back into his diet b/c "he's been so cranky." I don't think he's been cranky at all. He tried to go veg twice before but failed since I wasn't on board. This time we've both worked really hard at it, balancing our protein sources (i.e., not cheese pizza or tortellini every night like before) and eating locally, even through the winter. Now that we'll finally be in vegetable heaven from our backyard garden and Farmer's Market, he's thinking about eating meat. There's no point in him eating meat and me not doing it, we tried that twice before (in reverse) and it just doesn't work for us. Since I do the food shopping, shared meals would be local and humanely raised meat, but I was really happy being veg.
I don't want to go back to DH's floorboards being full of McDonald's bags!
Re: DH is thinking about eating meat again...
I know how it feels to see dh's car filled with McDonalds bags.
Actually for me it was finding all the receipts in his car. lol, he knew enough to throw the bags away. I've often thought I could go vegetarian, but dh never would and it just wouldn't work. Especially with 2 kids. I know there are people who do it, but I can't make 2 or 3 different meals every day.
As long as it's local, humanely raised meat...that's about a million times better than supermarket meat.
Why are you yelling?
BTW, we miss you over on Family Matters. Where'd your post go?
Have you talked to him about how you feel? What about just adding seafood back in?
Are you sure you guys couldn't make it work with you being veg and him not? That's how it is with my DH and I. I do the shopping and cooking so it's meatless at home. But he eats meat sometimes when we go out or he's on his own. He seems totally fine with it.
If it were my husband, I'd really push him for a rational explanation about "being cranky" - why does he think that's a result of not eating meat? I'd really ask him to try and stay committed to it. At the same time, I tried to become veg in high school and gave up very quickly... When I made the change again a couple of years ago, I felt really really ready for it and excited about it, and it made all the difference in terms of commitment. So if he's just not there yet, then he's not there yet... But I don't think it means you have to eat meat too. If he chooses to eat McDonald's because of it, that's on him.
Ditto. I would be upset/annoyed if my H wasn't happy about my eating habits because I wanted to eat meat. Eating meat isn't inherently unhealthy, so I think you should be supportive. Maybe you haven't seen him cranky, but if that's how he feels, that's how he feels.
H and I make it work just fine with him eating way more meat than me. I'm sure you can definitely work it out!
I would ask him why he thinks he's feeling worse and how not consuming meat has anything to do with it. Just calmly ask him to justify his reasoning and see where it goes from there. I would guess there's an underlying reason OTHER thatn just "being cranky".
That said, if he wants to eat meat, let him. But you shouldn't change just because he does. I realize it's more difficult with a meat-eater in the house, but it's not impossible. You have made a lot of difficult choices and changes... this change has been win-win for you, so why would you regress?!
I would suggest buying small amounts of humanely-raised meat and/or seafood- buy what you would eat if you were going to eat it. Have it available for DH to prepare and add to meals and he likes, but I would not go out of my way to prepare it for him. Let him grill a chix breast or brown some burger to eat on the side if he wants to.
By having meat from "good" sources available, it should help him avoid eating meat that was raised "badly". If you're buying it, it also shows a respect of his choice. BUT by not preparing it and not eating it yourself, you're also showing that you are not going to give in to cooking or eating meat just because he is. You're not supporting him or encouraging him... but you are respecting his decision to prep and eat humanely-raised animals.
DO NOT GIVE IN. You are stronger than that.:)
There's a difference between eating (locally raised) meat now and then and stuffing your face/car full of crappy fast food... at least, I hope there is. Give him the benefit of the doubt before it's an all-or-nothing deal.
Maybe he's cranky b/c he's been craving McDonald's lately and feels like he's not "allowed" to have it anymore, however infrequently.
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I am pescatarian and H eats everything, including meat. Eating fish does make it easier for us to eat some meals the same and gives more variety for going out. Maybe that would be a good compromise.
Hmm...you might want to ask him what he means by "cranky." Especially since you said you haven't noticed this with him..Maybe he means at work? Or he means another emotion or overall feeling like tired or run down? I might just ask him to try to clarify when he's feeling cranky and in what contexts and say it's b/c you haven't noticed it. It may really be some sort of dietary deficiency either physical or mental that he feels he's missing...and you might be able to work it out still.
If he's really determined or feels the need to have meat, it sounds like you have a nice plan..is there no way that you can work out for you to have some meatless meals and then the rest of the meals workout that are easy to have either veg OR meat?
I'm not sure what to say but I can tell you that after being veg for almost a year (mostly vegan), I had to add meat back into my diet because it was having a detrimental effect on both my physical and mental health. Physically, I was gaining weight, feeling bloated, having constant IBS flare-ups, having crazy wacked out cycles...and emotionally I was feeling depressed, short temper, not sleeping well. We were eating well healthy meals when veg - not a lot of sugar, lots of veggies, no processed foods.
After I added meat back in our diet (we get ours from Polyface), I have felt so much better. My weight is coming down, my stomach is so much better, cycles back on track and not super long and I'm feeling much better emotionally - sleeping better, less angry and upset. I really think the lack of meat was affecting me. A big issue might have been that my diet was really low fat and so I wasn't able to absorb the fat soluble vitamins well (like vit d which is important for mood). I also haven't been as sick - colds, etc.
I'm lucky in that DH will eat whatever I make and he doesn't really complain. We eat pretty healthy and so if it is vegetarian or omnivore, he'll eat it. My whole point is that as someone who was in your or your DH's situation, I can understand that maybe he does have a valid point. However, if he's just wanting to eat McDonald's, then that's a whole other issue!
Alirebco, I'm glad someone else who tried to go veg had the same problems we're having. My OP was a fair bit of denial, we both haven't been feeling well for awhile, I'm just trying harder to ignore it than he is. I've gained weight, am always hungry (which I'm sure the extra snacks contributed to gaining weight), and never feel well rested even though I sleep a solid 8 hours every night. I've also been getting lots of headaches, many that don't go away after a night's sleep. I even went to the doctor and he prescribed a migrane medicine, but I can't take that regularly since we're TTC.
DH says he has a "short fuse" and is cranky all the time. I don't really see that, but he's a pretty mellow guy so if he says he's cranky then I believe him. Maybe he's been trying really hard to keep the crankiness in. We also eat really well, mostly local and tons of veggies, very little processed food aside from meat subsitutes (tofu, seitan, tempeh, or veggie burgers) once or twice a week.
We had a long talk last night and we both agreed to introduce local, humanely raised meats back into our diet. We both agreed that we will not eat CAFO meat (so no McDonalds) and will only eat meat at home. We're not going to lie to our families about giving up the vegetarianism, but we're going to continue to eat veg when we're with them. This will allow us to eat even more locally than we already are, it's been a sour point with me for a long time that the soy products we eat are highly processed (like hexane in veggie burgers from the post today) and shipped from far, far away. We're going to eat meat 1-2 times a week, so basically replace the highly processed soy products with local, humanely raised meat. Mostly chicken and pork, since a lot of resources goes into beef. I'm happy with this decision and am confident we won't slip into eating fast food.
ETA: Alisha, we talked about just doing seafood but since we're TTC we didn't think it was safe to eat the amount of seafood we're both looking for, i.e., we don't think eating fish once a week will fix our emotional and physical issues. Any more than that and there's risks from heavy metals.
SuperGreen, I'm glad my experience was helpful to hear. The constantly feeling hungry and snacking was a big thing for me but as soon as I added meat back in, I felt better almost immediately. I don't know how to explain it but it tasted so good and it was like that was exactly what my body needed.
I know you were doing it for environmental reasons, so hopefully it will be easier for you to transition back to being an omnivore. There's a newish book out, called The Vegetarian Myth written by a woman who was a vegan for 20 years and finally had to add meat back into her diet because of her health. She also talks about the environmental aspect of vegetarianism and how it's not all it's cracked up to be. I haven't read it yet but it's on my list.