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D'oh! Another MIL vent...
So today J had off (he requested it off because we thought a friend was flying in to visit, but he flaked...) and I did too (it's rare for us to both be off together) so I suggested we drive down to see his mom, stepdad and brother. They hadn't seen Libby since she was about 4 weeks old (when they came up that one time) and that was nearly 8 weeks ago!
So we got up, loaded up the CRV and drove 2 hours down there. Libby had a meltdown before we left but then she settled down and slept the whole way there. She woke up right when we arrived and was happy! Yay! I am glad she got to visit her grandparents and uncle in a good mood.
A few hours went by and she got fussy so I nursed her and she was just about to fall asleep when my MIL's friend stopped by to "see the baby". Okay. Well, she was halfway under my shirt nursing and almost asleep. This lady, whom I've never met before reaches over, touching Libby and says, "can I hold her?" Um. Hello? It was so weird. I was fumbling around and then MIL says, "She came over just to see my Libby...let her hold her!" I was stunned. Libby was nearly asleep and although I didn't want to I handed her over to this lady. Well of course, Libby woke up and cried. I felt terrible. I'll never do that again. It felt wrong at the time but I didn't know what to do. So I asked for her back and then my MIL says to her friend, "she's a spoiled little baby." WTF? She's 2.5 months old and was nursing peacefully to slumber land and then handed over to a complete stranger. I'd cry too!
That lady left saying something like, "Well I have a granddaughter due in July so I guess I'll just have to wait until then..." Whatev. We had lunch and afterwards my MIL served coconut creme pie topped with merengue. My SFIL held Libby while J and I ate our pie. Out of the corner of my eye I see my MIL stand up with a huge blob of merengue on her finger. Next thing I know she's headed towards Libby on her husband's lap! I blurt out, "Uh...is that for Libby? No thank you, please!" WTF??!?!?!? Who feeds dessert to an infant? And further more who does it without asking the parents' permission?
I told her that Libby only gets mommy's milk and will continue to do so until she's 6 months old. Then she lectures me on how she fed J rice in his bottle of formula from the time he was 6 weeks old and then was taking rice cereal on a spoon when he was Libby's age. All I could say is that times have changed and the recommendation to start solids later with babies unless they have reflux. She said she had to do it because he was so hungry all the time...she couldn't even breastfeed him because he was so hungry! I didn't say a thing (mind you...many women used to think the babies were hungry "all the time" because they wanted to nurse every 2-3 hours, which is normal!) and then she said that if we would give her rice in a bottle we'd get a full nights sleep rather than up every 4 or 5 hours. I just said that we sleep fine and Libby's obviously getting enough to eat since she's off the charts for her weight and growth.
Normally my MIL and I get along fine, but since I've had the baby she's hell-bent on lecturing me on how she did it with J and tries to do weird stuff (like singing a song in a scary voice to Libby because it used to make J laugh...well Libby cried and then she called her spoiled again). 
Re: D'oh! Another MIL vent...
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
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Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
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wow, i would be so furious too! i can't believe she did ALL of that!! of course grandparents think they know EVERYTHING and more than you b/c then have "been there, done that" but they don't realize that a lot of what they learned has changed or been disproven. i'm sorry she was like that. regardless of feeding practices prior, i am sure that ANY pedi would NOT recommend meringue for a baby!!! as an aside... when the ILs were here, my FIL was eating a piece of carrot cake and miss A was staring... she's been doing that lately when we eat so i joked "she wants some of that cake you're eating" and he smiled and then took his finger and wiped a piece of icing off and started to head towards her mouth before MIL said "oh no you don't!! don't you even THINK about it" and he smiled and acted like he wasn't really going to do it... so i kind of know how you feel! i would have died if she had some icing!
i would be glad that you don't live close to her, b/c i'm not sure if it's worth talking to her about b/c i'm not sure if you would get through to her!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I'm actually nervous about this happening with MIL, and it's reason #49830275049 that I don't want her watching our boys for even one day a week, because I know that she'd just do whatever the hell she wanted vs what I want to happen.
Oh and as far as the "spoiled" thing goes, I've been shocked by how many people have said to me, "It's a good thing you're having twins, that way they'll have to get used to being allowed to fuss really early on and not be spoiled." I think that CIO does work with some babies (I tend to view how appropriate it is on a case-by-case basis), but only from a certain age, and it's come as a big surprise to me how many people think that picking up a crying newborn is "spoiling" it.