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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
S/O Your first year
So people say that things change once you get married and once you have your first year together.
Did anything change? Friends? Family? your ways?
Re: S/O Your first year
We bought a house and moved in about a week before we got married. That was definitely stressful and we've had to get used to increased bills, more housework, yardwork, etc related to the house. We would have those issues regardless of if we got married or not.
I think that marriage actually made our relationship stronger. I feel more connected to him and his family and I think he feels the same about mine. We really feel as though we're in everything together and I think that helps us grow as a couple.
We definitely don't go out as much, but again, I don't think thats related to being married, its because we don't have as much disposable income as we did when we lived in a one bedroom apartment. We've also combined our finances so its about us and not just me when spending.
I love being married, I wouldn't change it for anything!
Oh yea. We had significant changes in the friends department, but thats natural when you have friends in all different stages in their life. We were engaged for almost 3 years so during those 3 years we hung out a lot of with single friends and couples without kids. When we got married, we knew we wanted to be pregnant soon after and it took the first try, just 2 weeks after we got married. So once the baby was here, pretty much all of those friends stopped talking to us (so sad).
We've had issues with both our families since both my mom and mother in law passed away from cancer, 2 years apart.
Marriage is hard. But if you're in love, you get through anything. And we've been through everything you can possibly imagine. It can either break you or make you closer. And thank goodness it was the latter for us.
Things have changed, but we were not the one's who changed. My friends (single) stopped inviting me places. My BFF stopped asking if I wanted to hang out and go to the movies like we always did. I dont know why, nothing changed with us besides that piece of paper saying we were married. DH and I lived together for 2 years before we got married, so I dont see why she changed.
With family, nothing changed. All is the same and I am happy that I have supportive parents and in-law's.
I guess, I need a friend that is married and in the same place as I. We still talk to DH's friends like nothing has changed, so I dont see why she changed. Weird.
Click Me
Our relationship got a thousand times stronger. I never saw that coming. We had a stable relationship (had tiffs here and there) and lived together before the marriage. But ever since, we've just grown so much more together than I ever saw possible. It's amazing.
The first year was full of changes...we bought a house, I started a new job, had a TON of family drama. A lot of stuff challenged our relationship, but it only made our bond grow. My DH had to deal with a lot of stress coming from my side of the family, he took it like a champ and has continued to build long-standing relationships with my family. We were definitely tested...My DH is a PhD student and it is H.E.L.L on me - and him - and us...it's hard. But we're trooping, and I appreciate him more and more every day.
Friends changed a bit. My single friends stopped wanting to do things with me (I'm probably exaggerating this) and DH doesn't hear from his friends a whole lot. We're really lucky with the friends that stuck around though. I think part of this though was that all of our friends pretty much spread out in the last 12 months. So we're all at opposite ends of the Valley...makes a social life hard.
I love my marriage. I really, really do.
DH and I have been together for 7 years and lived together 4 out of the 7. Everything has pretty much been the same, except DH is having a hard time growing up and being a husband. He still thinks it is cool to get drunk with his buddies every weekend and act like an ass. Fortunately, after a blow out that ended 2 months ago.
He is a wonderful man, and always wants to please me, but his parents don't really act like a married couple. They show no emotion or affections towards each other, so DH has a hard time showing me any.
Our friends have stayed the same. We have a small group of friends we hang out with a few times a month, and always have a great time with them.
<a href="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y126/wayfastwhitegirl/?action=view
Well we did not live together before we got married, so that was a big (but great) change. We finally feel like a team, our finances are joint, and we tackle everything as a team. We are more involved with each others classes and personal success, and the whole DIY house thing really connected us. It is a great feeling, and I couldn't be happier.
I wouldn't say our ways changed, we've always been hermit crabs. We don't have a large social circle, but thats ok with us. We have different views and goals than most people we went to school with.
Can't wait to meet my baby boy!
Well things changed for us when we got married because we hadn't lived together so there was that , wow I'm WAY more selfish than I ever knew I was before.
But other than that it's been great and after a year the only thing that changed was we knew we would be having a baby.
I guess our friends changed some, we have a few single friends we hang with but mostly couple friends.
And I've realized that I don't need to be so selfish. I pick my battles, if there is really something that irks me with how he does something, then we talk about it and he usually has one of his own. But then I also realize if he doesn't shut the shower curtain it.just.isn't.worth.it to bug him over, I just shut it. We all have our idiosyncrasies.
Our first year doesn't feel like a 'first year' considering we've run into things like potty training, drugs/sex/rocknroll at school (jr high here peeps!), first steps with kids and plenty of junk on our relationship.
I do think that even though it's been a stress-coaster, we'll look back on this as a great time--I'm just looking forward to the looking back part.
Wow- well we bought our house and moved in together about 2 months before the wedding (talk about S-T-R-E-S-S).
I think marriage has brought us closer- his dad didn't really accept me, but than poof day of the wedding, bam it was like I was awesome.
I too- figured out how selfish I was. I think it was okay, because I lived alone, so when you live alone you do everything for you- but living together, well not so much.
In terms of us, it's been alot of growing for both of us. I'm a pretty strong personality and independent, and DH is much more passive, so it's been a lot of us learning to balance those traits in each other (me tone it down, him tone it up). But I wouldn't trade it for the world. He's so supportive and absolutely amazing- I wake up every morning knowing how absolutely blessed I am to have such an amzing husband.
- end mushyness-
DH & I didn't live together prior to getting married, but we did spend the weekends together--as in he would come over Friday, and leave Sunday night.
Other than that, I don't think much really changed. We still had the same friends (and still do). Single, long term relationships, married with or without kids... we maintained pretty much all our friendships we had prior to getting married.
Our biggest change was moving here. But that happened just before our 2nd anniversary.
I think I was expecting our relationship to feel different somehow after the wedding.. more profound or something. But we'd already lived together for 2 years at that point, so it was really like we'd had an amazing party, went on an amazing vacation and then came home and life went on as usual. I think we have a very strong relationship with good communication, and that hasn't changed. We did have a semi-crazy first year that included job changes for both of us, but I don't think being married changed us as a couple, nor did it change our relationship with family and friends.
The bigger change has probably come from me being pregnant. Our priorities have shifted, naturally (Babies R Us is now a fun place to spend a Friday night!). But I feel that we are growing and changing together, rather than apart. I think having our first child could change some dynamics with our family and friends more than being married did.