Need to help a friend, but don't know what to do

Lisichka

A friend of mine in Russia got married about a year ago. We talk online semi-regularly, we used to be very close before I moved to the States. Occasionally I get very sad messages from her about her husband, things like "He got drunk last night and didn't come home" or "he doesn't want to go anywhere on a vacation except for his hometown, and it's the way it's going to be because he said so". It makes me very sad for her, I mean how could you live with somebody like that? On the other hand, I absolutely do not know the entire story of course being so far away and not seeing it for myself. She can also be quite a bit of a drama queen sometimes.

So what am I supposed to do? I mean it's absolutely non of my business, I suppose where they go on vacations, but when she says those things to me, I want to help, but what do I say that won't make her feel even crappier about the whole situation?

MrsKocal

Gosh, I dont really think there is much you can do!  If she was in NY, you could offer to take her out, or go on a "girls weekend", but since she's in Russia - I don't know how you could help her other than to just be a supportive friend when she needs someone to talk to.

Lisichka

Mrs.Kocal:

Gosh, I dont really think there is much you can do!  If she was in NY, you could offer to take her out, or go on a "girls weekend", but since she's in Russia - I don't know how you could help her other than to just be a supportive friend when she needs someone to talk to.

I know it's hard that she's so far away. It just really sucks that she's in this situation, and on top of everything, she has a 7-year-old daughter from her previous marriage, so the little girl cannot be unaffected by all the drama!

Rachiemoo

maybe you could invite her to visit you here?  maybe she could use an escape!

Lisichka

Rachiemoo:

maybe you could invite her to visit you here?  maybe she could use an escape!

I've thought about that, but I doubt that that would even happen. For a number of reasons.

Temp663997437501443

Sounds like a tough situation with not a lot of good options.  I think you just being there for her is a great help even if there is not much you can do from so far away.

shelby.ann

I agree that there is not much you can do from afar, sadly.  Be there for her when she needs to vent.  Be her cheerleader - the better her self-esteem, the better her chances of getting out of her situation if it truly is as bad as she says it is.  Poor girl.